Indigo

Project Seattle day 4

2009-02-11T18:08:00.000-08:00

Nothing much. Stayed at home to plan stuff for the upcoming days. Relaxing day to recharge. Played ninja gaiden 2 and it was wicked slashing ppl and seeing blood all over the screen. Blogged the past events too and check out facebook.

Project Seattle Day 3

2009-02-10T17:49:00.000-08:00

Decided to take the public transport to Bellevue. Auntie eng dropped my mom and i at the Redmond bus terminal. Boarded ST express 545 and the bus driver told us that the bus doesnt pass by bellevue. Mistake on my part coz i thought i saw the bus passing through bellevue on the brochure...anyway we alighted and luckily the correct bus was right in front and we managed to catch up to it. Bus 253 of metro king county service. The bus driver is super nice. White father of 3 kids. Helped me quite a bit with the system and routes. A great comedian who talked about wanting to get a job in the mattress department as a bed tester so he gets paid to sleep on the mattresses and tell ppl how good it is. A driver for 15 years and he was from the police dept before. He has a vietnamese friend who keeps saying NO GOOD! He likes bill cosby and chevy chase. Great friendly guy.

Reached bellevue bus terminal and it was somewhat like the bedok interchange. Ate breakfast at a nearby starbucks. Ordered a hot mocha with a blueberry scone. Walked to bellevue square after breakfast. We went to Safety supermarket and it was damn big and colourful. Saw vegetaables such as avacado pumpkin and artichoke which are rare in singapore stores.. Saw apple pies and ready made steaks. Wide variety of meat and cheese. Bought bubblegum!

Was walking all around 4th to 8th ave trying to find a bartell drug store. While walking around, i saw a shop selling anime stuff! Went in to check it out and made friends with the shopowner there. He is called Eric and both of us talked a lot about anime and his favourite is Major baseball...hahaha and he mentioned that piracy is viewed very strictly in Seattle. One episode downloaded means 10000 in fines. Yes 10k. Insane. His friend got fined about 150k. He gave me directions to a bartell drug store finally and we said our goodbyes.

Bartell drug store is like 7-11 but a big one. The pudgetpass concession card is sold out and apparently the public transport system here is inferior compared to singapore. Singapore operates everyday and the concession card is available everyday. Here it is not. Depends on weather and availability of cards. QFC also doesnt have and QFC is sth like a supermarket too.

Went to Bellevue square to eat lunch at another TACO shop! Addicted to taco with salsa sauce with mexican rice and black beans. Drank minute maid lemonade. It was good even though the person serving had a very strong mexican accent and i couldnt understand most of time...hahahaha he probably thought i was just another asian struggling with english understanding.. Went shopping by myself again. Loads of shops with bigger chains of american outfitters, zumiez and pacsun. Went to a cool armani exchange shop and dolce and gabbana shop manager complimented my red shoes from HK! He said those are WICKED! HAhahaa...lego shop was pretty cool too. Banana republic, GAP and abercrombie and fitch are so NOT my type of clothes plz. TOO PLAIN. Macy's and Nordstrom were mostly female stuff. So in the end i didnt buy anything from there even though i liked some stuff from the AIX and american outfitters shop. Take note.

Met up with uncle richard at the ebar near nordstrom. We drove down to the firing range! Saw a lot of shotguns, rifles, pistols, uzis, snipers even. And there were a couple of strange laws. 18 years old allowed to buy shotguns and rifles. 21 years old allowed to buy pistols. Weird. AND must be 21 years and above to shoot in the range. I was devastated for a moment. BUT another rule saying that if accompanied by an adult...15 years and older can go in. WTH 15 years old.... anyway i shot 5 guns using 9mm calibre bullets. The stupid thing is that they dun provide supervision and they assume u know how to handle and lock and load the gun yourself and shoot all by yourself. So i didnt dare to try the uzi. 5 pistols were already nerve wrecking and high recoil enough...hahaha its very different from firing my M16 and SAR21. I saw AR15 there which is the original version of SAR21. 5 pistols i shot were Smith & Wossen compact, Springfield, Para, P223 and Ruger handguns. I like the springfield one the most as its silver, the biggest pistol amongst all the 5, not that high recoil and i shot a headshot with it :D Trust me its hard to aim at a target and hit the target with pistols. Luckily i had earmuffs too as the cubicles next to me had ppl firing automated pistols and it was super loud with echo as it was an enclosed range. I was quite scared to load the bullets too...hahaha

After shooting, my hands smelt like gunpowder. Went to drink yumcha and eat hotdog bun at a HK cafe with a super CUTE waitress at the counter. Probably from HK as she spoked canto to uncle richard. It was bittersweet more bitter tea but it was nice and close to the authentic one in HK. Went home.

Project Seattle day 2

2009-02-09T17:36:00.000-08:00

Woke up to see SNOW FOR THE FIRST TIME OF MY LIFE! It was awesome i tell u. Snow covering the entire forest, backyard and frontyard totally. Snow on the pine trees. Snow on the driveway and the roads. I dashed out without properly wearing insulation against the cold as i was too excited. Wore my boots and a coupla shirts. I picked up snow and it really was like shaved ice. Made snowballs and walked around the backyard to explore the snow covered forest and to check out the unfinished wooden shed uncle richard was attempting to make. Then i realised i got locked out of the house and my hands were totally numb. My fingers had no feeling...hahaha so i rang the doorbell and everyone thought i was the postman or sth. Took a coupla photos. Made loads of snowballs.

Got a major accident at the 520 bridge connecting downtown Seattle to Overlake due to the snow and slush. Auntie eng had no school due to the snow. It is fascinating to experience first hand how snow can affect the everyday lives of the locals here. Travelled to Redmond town centre again with auntie eng and lunched there at Desert Fire! Awesome mexican south american food. I ate chimichangas, enchiladas and tacos dipped in authentic spicy salsa sauce for 12 bucks! Went shopping by myself. Bought a couple of american outfitters shirts and a hoodie and a pair of white jeans. Bought a Smith ski mask and a beanie too from REI. Saw Victoria's secret and the salesgirls were damn pretty. Saw a goldclass cinema at the town square too. Borders sold quite a number of adult novels and some of them are about gays and lesbians.

Tiring day of shopping and the cold was getting unbearable.

Project Seattle Day 1

2009-02-08T16:40:00.000-08:00

Time to go Seattle! Woke up at around 4am to get ready the last minute stuff left to prepare before going to the airport. 4.30am went to airport. Reached airport T3 at 5.30am. Flight was on United Airlines. It was awesome to be back again on the plane. Plus i was lucky enough to get a window seat. However, it was kinda boring to fly for the first 6 hours as the movies kinda suck. Watched some movie forgot the title about the first female quarterback for american football based on a true story. Listened to a hell lot of katy perry, akon, rihanna and loads others that kept repeating on the airplane radio coz they were the latest hits. Slept quite a bit...ok not really sleeping rather it was a fading in and out into consciousness kinda thing. Experienced quite a bit of turbulence too. Upon reaching Japan, my mother and i managed to see mount Fuji! Can u believe it that it is so tall that even people on an airplane high up in the air could see it?! It was an awesome sight. Plus we saw ice crystals forming on the airplane window as it was too cold. The japan sea was partially frozen with glaciers floating on the water surface. We got an aerial view of Narita and it was quite dilapitated. The development and infrastructure were similiar to a third world country as the land was mainly agricultural farms and wasteland. Very few vehicles mostly motorbikes. Houses with zinc roofs reflecting off the glare of the sun.

Narita airport was surprisingly quite developed considering the environment we were in. Japanese airstewardesses are one of the hottest babes on earth! Japanese salesgirls selling cosmetics too :D Checked out a couple of shops and japanese goods were really well packaged and attractive enough to appeal to many buyers. Products such as green tea kitkat and japanese sake were tasty. The air was chilly in Narita. About 8 degrees celsius.

Flight to Seattle was 8 hours long. This time is the last row of seats but it was good coz it meant i could incline the chair all the way back without even caring if there are ppl behind who would mind. Listened to the same latest hits for about 6 hours straight whilst reading the social psychology book priya lent to me on board the plane. The book is really intriguing and thought provoking. Dinner was japanese curry with japanese rice! Plus the green salad was hotel standard awesomeness. Breakfast was western sausages with omelette and hashbrown.

Finally at SeaTac airport! It was ok i guess...not as nice as Narita and Changi airports for that matter. The place looks very industrial like and the subway train underneath that connects the terminals is very old dating back till 1960s. Plus its transparent so i could see the condition of the tunnel which was horrible..looked like about to cave in. Met up with auntie poh eng and uncle richard. I could breathe out fumes without smoking a cigerette! No snow on the first day though coz it wasnt cold enough. It was only 4 degrees celsius then. Seattle looked kinda gloomy with the fog and the sun barely peeking out from the snow clouds.The pine trees were beautiful. Some were green and some were greyish. Traffic rules here and so much different compared to singapore plus the vehicles are all left hand drives. Mostly Toyota, Honda and Nissan cars here with a few Mercedes and Cheverolet. Long drive to our home. Home was awesome with a garage housing 2 cars. 2 stories house with loads of room upstairs and downstairs. A whole forest as a backyard and there is a frontyard even. A driveway to the garage is available too. Settled down and unpacked and we went to Redmond town centre to chow down on Claim Jumper! Awesome western restaurant with a bit pricey food but the american portion was huge! I ordered turkey and uncle richard gave me half his beef burger plus i had to eat quite a bit of auntie eng's calamari. Stuffed. Mom didnt eat much as usual. Redmond town centre had a lot of shops. Shops like zumiez and pacsun cater to the needs of teenagers.

We went to REI to look for some ski gear. There is a rockclimbing wall in the shop to test out rockclimbing gears such as boots and toggle ropes. Also went to a couple of other sportshops near Kirkland and Bellevue. We headed home.

The clubbing experience

2008-07-07T07:15:00.000-07:00

Its been more of a lack of self control to stop my weekly clubbing basis for the past few months. It really seems more like an addiction rather than just going for the experience. I do still wanna experience the various clubs i havent been to but it really is too much clubbing at once. It has become a form of escapism for me. Temporary satisfactions are just drifting illusions swaying me from the realistic realm. Coupled with the effects of absinth (ok not all the time coz its 70% shit and my throat burns literally when i drink a shot of that) Jack daniels and vodka, I feel like i am put under sedation. I feel really relaxed and carefree and overly confident. Ok why not I list the pros and cons of clubbing.

Pros
- I get overly confident when i club. In other words i am slowly building up my long lost
confidence and restoring my hurt pride.
- I feel carefree, void of negative emotions and just have fun with strangers and friends.
- In terms of music and socialite exposure, loads.
- I pay more attention to the way i present myself. More on the flamboyant image.
- Dancing has always been my interest. Clubs provide the dancefloor, the DJ, the music, the
company and most importantly, the training.
- Making new friends. Friends who are willing to experiment and experience youth culture.

Cons
- Excessively loud music. Bad for eardrums.
- Flashing lights. Bad for eyesight.
- Alcohol. Bad for liver and brain. I realise i react to things slower and i am more stupid. Maybe
its army. Maybe its both.
- Smoking shisha. Tendency to do that when the group goes to do it. Bad for lungs.
- I feel emotional and physically horrible after clubbing. Cycle just repeats. Bad for the soul.
- Spending a lot. Bad for wallet.

Hm seems rather equal on both sides of the coin. In other words, moderation is the solution. :D I will make sure i will not drink hard liquor unnecessary too even under peer pressure. YUP I SHALL MODERATE! DETOXIFY!

I felt really happy when matthias introduced me to gotham with yeong zhiming and philip last month. It was a really good experience because even though i didnt drink much and i didnt get high...i still grooved to the R&B music which was totally awesome btw and managed to flirt with a girl successfully..i really didnt expect myself to have such balls...haha but regardless everyone witnessed it for themselves and i am proud of myself :D Too bad i didnt get her number...the place was too wild and crowded. Ah well.

I wanna play tennis damn it! I need to find tennis players in singapore!!!!

My guitar is progressing well. More enthusiastic in training for it. ORD is coming. Means i have less time to train before uni starts. Must train even harder. My physical training too.

Suhendra is back in singapore. Hanging out with him and the 4a ppl is really cool. The movie wanted is cool but like an imitation of matrix. Cool regardless with awesome action involved. I didnt know indoor stadium had a brewerkz. Good introduction by lyndon.

Gintama is lame funny. Never fails to cheer me up though. Nice theme songs too. Elizabeth is disgusting. Haha.

I wanna plan a japan trip. Plus a eurotrip. Plus a US seattle trip to visit auntie dorothy. Must start planning now so i can look forward to the end of army :D Till then, cya.

The stagnant plateau

2008-05-27T06:10:00.001-07:00

I really hate ppl who count down to their ORD date. I mean i know the anticipation is exciting and i myself can hardly wait but isnt it a bit too desperate to count down to your ORD by days when u have months left. Its like oh i got 205 days of army left. How dumb is that...come on la just take it like a man and just serve time without complaining. Time will fly by much faster than u realise..

Priya dreamt about kissing me. Hm. and she enjoyed it even though it wasnt reality. Hm.

I have been inspired to help out in rescue efforts in sichuan China and myanmar. BUT due to army's restraint, i am helpless. I really want to engage in CIP activities and i swear to God that i will ensure that my life after army would be filled with volunteerism efforts and charitable donations plus regular trips to the temple. It really rejuvenates the mind body and soul. Not only that it would also tame my ego down several notches. All this time its always been about me. Why arent i better than other ppl even though we are of the same age. Why is my life 90% suffering and probably less than 1% happiness and the other % belongs to stagnancy and just pure boredom in my mundane army life. Thus i came to a conclusion that since i have been focusing so much about myself, its high time for me to start caring about the less fortunate. Coz i have always been an egoistic perfectionist, i always compare myself with ppl who are much better than me. But as i serve time in army, i realised that life is not just about achievements and self satisfaction. After all i am a buddhist and i have devoted time to reading the buddhist teachings. Honestly, i feel slightly enlightened. Even though i am still my egoistic self, i am beginning to condemn my double-edged sword and start to see things in a totally different perspective. I guess one factor that really inspired me was when i met saravanan in my workshop. He is the one i respect the most in my army life, because his actions are really not what a normal teenager would do.

The reasons why i respect him:
1) Even though ppl has trampled on his pride and ego, he still helps them without expecting
in return.
2) Without any complaint, he will suffer in silence as he chants faithfully.
3) Because of his devotion to Hinduism, he is willing to sacrifice whatever he has for the sake of
making other ppl happy.
4) There is never an 'i' in his vocab as it is all about 'u'.
5) He has a very optimistic view regarding life issues and society.
6) Most importantly, i am the total opposite of him and most probably i cant achieve what he has

Even so, i still aspire to become more and more like him as he aspires to become more and more like God. Maybe one day....one day i will truly become a better person.

The resurrection

2008-05-18T09:03:00.001-07:00

Wow i am back to blogging again since recently i have a lot of thoughts my mind and i feel that i should really type it out. Recent updates about Danver.

- Graduated from OJE at jurong camp. Currently at nee soon camp. Army life is bittersweet.
- Technician work is tough but platoon mates are good. Kinda balances out.
- Passed my driving test! At long last i have a licence. 07/05/08.
- Guitar lessons are still going on as usual. Improving quite a bit.
- Keeping fit is tough due to the slogging during working hours. Poor body.
- Tennis rawkz.
- Clubbing rawkz for a while but leads to a throbbing headache and impaired hearing.
- Realised i have quite high alcohol tolerance.
- Steve Aoki rawkz.
- Currently i dont hang out with my 2 closest cliques.
- Missing a lot of ppl.
- Feeling super emo.

Gosh its really been a super long while since i have last blogged and i have no idea where to start. Ok lets begin with friendship. Looking back at my last post which was last year...i realised that around that period i have already started to drift away from my closest friends in my life. There were numerous circumstances. Firstly, my ego really influences me with dark negative thoughts which eventually lead to me becoming all emotional and pessimistic. Secondly, my friends dont trust me coz they think i have been telling priya secrets regarding GD. I mean i have been helping out with their darkest secrets that no one else in the gang knows about and this is the kind of treatment they give me. Its like they are repaying me with attitude instead of grattitude. It really disgusts me to realise that i have been naive about this reality. Are my friends really hypocrites who just make use of me as a good listener and a problem solver and ditch me and even accuse me of things i didnt do? Honestly, there was one time i was supposed to meet brian kenneth and JJ at parkway for lunch. Turned out that mathan and nallu were there and they interrogated me regarding the priya issue. I was like wtf. I know what i am supposed to say and what i am not supposed to say and different times and places. To think my closest friends can tell me i have betrayed their trust and now they are ganging up against me. It feels like i as the isolated one is going against a current which was once flowing in my direction. It sucks. Its like i am a spannar in a toolbox. When ppl need me, they use me. When they are done with me, they cast me aside and throw me back into the toolbox.

As a result, I isolated myself from the group. I dont really regard them as friends bcoz my definition of friends is a 2 way traffic. Gosh priya can even tell me that when friends share their sorrows and not their joy with me, i should feel glad bcoz only close friends would do that..what total fucked up bullshit. So i am just a dumping ground for other ppl's sorrows? And i am supposed to feel happy? Fuck that! Friends go through thick and thin. Joy and sorrow. Not just freaking sorrow. I love helping my friends who need help. And it really makes me happy to see them happy when they have overcome their issues in life. But what i really want is acceptance, appreciation and mutual understanding between friends.

Regardless, i have lost my 2 closest cliques. I found a new clique and they have a totally different lifestyle as compared to GD and the indian clique. I like the new clique as they are willing to experiment on different things and explore options..unlike GD whose members are forever playing dota and other online games like WOW. Even though i have found a new clique, i still miss my old friends. I miss those days when i can just laugh with them even when they laugh at my shortcomings. But now, i will just feel insulted whenever they do that. This sucks.

In actual fact, my outside life is more problematic as compared to my army life. Usually, army would appear more sucky than the normal lives of most NSFs. But i belong to the minority. Sure army life sucks and i bleed and sweat everyday. But the pain i receive from army is insignificant compared to the emotional reminiscing when i am not in camp.

On a happier note, i passed my driving test! I really thought i wouldnt pass coz the tester kept criticizing my driving skills. Plus at the corner of my eye, i kept seeing him ticking the checklist of mistakes. Just as i was mentally prepared to accept failure and book for the 3rd test in the briefing room, he actually asked me why i look so distressed and said he would pass me. I couldnt believe what i heard and i was super happy when he gave me 14 points and passed me...haha and my first trip on the road was to Balestier...my old homeground and i fetched my mum there. It was a satisfying achievement after so long.

Currently, i want to sign up for computer maintenance and repair courses. Including furthering my computing skills with lan networking, programming and documentation. Thinking between studying in an ite or ntuc. Depends. Still looking into it and i am looking forward to improving myself before uni starts. Still working on my exercise and guitar regimes. Hard life...hahaha...

My escapism is music appreciation, fictional books, drinking, clubbing and chilling with the few friends i have left in my life. I am inspired to help those suffering in China and Myanmar after reading up about the situations there. However, given my current situation, i feel so helpless. Regardless i am going to be suuuuuuuper enthu in CIP projects in uni and help out as much as i can. Thats why i am training so hard to become a great teacher and a great volunteer.

Thats all for this post. Will try to blog quite often nowadays...especially when i am feeling emo...haha.

The isolation

2007-07-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

Well i have officially isolated myself from my closest friends...i have no idea whether i suffer more when i am hanging around them or when i am alone..probably the same i guess..i'm not saying this is some kind of achievement...i wanna see how far i can go being self reliant..plus i wanna improve myself a whole lot before uni starts 2 years later...

The thought of driving is really bugging me..like how my army buddies and ppl like mathan already have their driver's licence or having good progress for their driving course..it makes me feel sooooo inferior coz i havent even passed my final theory test...yes my ego acting up once again..but i have this bugging voice in my mind saying how pathetic i am compared to them coz i am like a beginner when it comes to driving...gosh i am like self destructing.

I have read dozens of articles regarding perfectionism and egoism..how destructive they are to the body soul and mind...the suggested solutions sound reasonable but are hard to apply in everyday life..especially in the army. I guess i am just being emotional once again..this sucks.

Priya said something today..she said that she has really tried her best and currently she is exhaused about life...she even apologised to me coz she felt she sounded kinda selfish...but i am the selfish one...i refuse to let my friends help me out...i am just scared of offending them..but now i think i have already distanced myself from them quite a lot...at this rate i will lose all my friends..maybe i already have...

It seems that even when i am in army camps and interacting with my army buddies...my character is about the same as before i entered NS...maybe slightly more matured coz i realised that the world isnt as innocent as one would perceive...but my ego is inflating as time passes by...maybe i should get more buddhist books to get rid of such mindset....

Friends...true friends are really hard to come by...especially in Singapore's system...would it hurt me not to have any friends and just treat everyone as acquintances? Sounds pretty lonesome...i wonder if i could share my problems with my best friend..i wonder if it would be awkward..i wonder whether it would help..

Urgh my life is totally __________ . Dunno what word to fill in...transformers and harry potter are out but i am probably not watching them..no company anyway...

For the sake of others' happiness..i shall lay down mine..

The blog revival

2007-07-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

Man this is one super long awaited update but currently no one reads my blog coz the blog fad is passe...so now i am treating this blog as a venue to rant and reflect on certain events and issues in my life.

[Recent updates]
- Didnt get into medicine. Blessing in disguise is all i can say to console myself.
- Get to be an MOE scholar. Wonder whats in store for me in 2 years time.
- Most of my female and foreigner friends are starting university in 1 month's time.
- Many of my friends have left overseas to study abroad.
- Maroon 5 new album rawkz.
- Linkin park new album sucks.
- Lost contact with GD on purpose.
- Posted to Jurong camp in boon lay for OJE. OETI was so much better.
- Bought a guitar :D
- Joined a driving school..but quit soon after realising that the system sucks.
- Currently very anxious about not learning enough during my 2 years.
- It hurts to always want to perfect myself for this 2 years. Literally.

Ok anyway recently i dipped my hair into engine oil while i was working on the floorboard under the vehicle..and kamal was saying dude ur hair is in oil and i was like whatever..until 5 seconds later then i got up and realise he was speaking the truth...haha shampoo-ed my hair for quite a while..coz my friend skin exposure to used engine oil is carcinogenic and that kinda freaked me out quite a bit...

Can get along real well with my current platoon. As good if not better than OETI platoon. Still miss everyone else from my ex platoon who got posted to various camps scattered around Singapore. The support of my fellow army buddies is really essential at this point in my life. Ever since i stopped hanging out with GD, life seem kinda stagnant..like there is a constant lonesome feeling yet my ego will stop me from wanting to hang out with them. My ego is the biggest obstacle in my life..the hardest barrier to overcome even though it is so prominent and its within me..totally under my control yet somehow it controls me.

I am just getting too eager to improve myself. Its straining my mind and body. But my new year's resolution was to make myself a much better person than i was in JC...much much better. But the process of maturing spans over a long period of time..and somehow i always end up feeling like i have achieved nothing at the end of the day..maybe my expectations are too high..maybe i am just simply pushing myself too hard...plus i find it hard to talk about this to other ppl due to my freaking ego. Yes i identified that my ego is the root of my problems..but it just seems so hard to put it down. I keep telling myself to not let my ego control me...and yet it somehow manages to wriggle through.

This sucks. And i just received news that my future unit may be a stay in unit..which means i cannot go home and have very little time for driving and guitar and other stuff....when the time comes..hopefully i can take it like a man and find other means to improve myself..regardless of the circumstances.

Come to think of it..i am real lucky i didnt get into medicine..coz the satisfaction of my ego was more evident than my passion in healing. What i really wanted more was the status and the money...rather than the amount of stress and toil one has to go through to heal patients. Everything links back to my ego...i need a wake up call badly...either that or someone to change my life for the better. Yes i need a miracle. God plz send me one. Haha...

Oh yes i have become a rather devoted buddhist. Been reading a whole lot more buddhist books than the usual dan brown harry potter and other fantasy books..i find the buddhist books so much more interesting and insightful. Perhaps i should read more to put down my ego once and for all....but i read somewhere that basic characteristics born within a person is very difficult to change...thus we are classified under the horoscopes. For example..its hard for an egoistic Leo to take things easy and put down his ego....ahhhhh this sucks.

Life sucks sucks sucks.

The interviews.

2007-04-16T02:16:00.000-07:00

Seems that i got shortlisted for MOE Scholarship interview and Medicine interview...sounds scary but worst come to worst i just sign up for the bachelor of science course and become a regular teacher...i shall let fate decide.

Had a prep talk with my relatives regarding medicine and life yesterday..rather inspiring and has definitely struck a chord in me. More importantly, i have learnt so much more talking to them. Really appreciate the effort of everyone trying to change me for the better.

The OETI course.

2007-04-13T05:16:00.000-07:00

Ayer Rajah OETI has been awesome so far. The past few weeks at the ayer rajah camp is really tiring but enjoyable at the same time. I love my platoon..so much better than the tekong platoon..i can get along with everyone and we are one united platoon striving to obtain the best platoon title in ATW. I love my instructors coz they are funny and super knowledgeable but they need NIE training man..haha presentation skills can be improved..but nevertheless they are real cool and slack..not like those strict commanders who will bully the recruits and privates. 6 instructors, of which 4 are indians, 1 is malay and 1 is chinese. Ayanari, Mohan, Vihjay, Vincent, Ishak and Troy..awesome leaders. Plus the stuff that i am learning is super interesting..the hard part is just staying awake during lessons and not the course itself..haha..

Feeling more detached from my TK gang and current friends due to army. Mathan jingyang and kenneth have left for tekong to begin their BMT experience. Brian is in SISPEC and can only book out on saturday morning...same goes for zijian at armoured unit at kranji camp..pity both of them..the twins are busy preparing for their As and Dehong is busy preparing for his final year in SP. Andreas is busy preparing for his media course at TP. Anan is currently in the middle of this tekong course and he is in ninja..good luck to him..Nallu is in ammo supply at Bukit Timah...he is going to supply ammo for 2 years...plus reservist..interesting..

Since everyone is busy with their own stuff..its kinda hard to meet up. Plus with my current situation and mood swings, i have a feeling that i would lose contact with them soon..kinda like the time we phased linhao out...just that this time i am phasing myself out instead of making the effort to keep in contact. Priya is busy working 7 days a week too. I really want to take this 2 years to improve myself...so that after the period of isolation, people will notice the big difference in me..how much i have grown and matured hopefully..

There was an option for overseas attachment..but minimum period was 9 months. So i rejected the experience..i would miss my family, my friends and singapore. But even when i am here in singapore, there are so many times where i feel like going overseas to isolate myself. Anyway the decision has been made..i shall just leave it to fate. If fate decrees then i shall get another chance to go overseas..

MOE scholarship interview on 20th april friday...i dunno what to hope for or what to anticipate. To me, it doesnt matter whether i get the scholarship or not...what i want to achieve is the realisation of my dream..which is to go to under-privileged countries to educate/heal ( maybe both ) the people. I have come to realised that i do not belong in Singapore. Migrating seem to be a cowardly choice in comparison to trying to make an effort to adapt to Singapore's stressful surrouding..even my mum told me that i may find other countries worse than Singapore...but who knows..i can always give it a try..and if other countries can provide a better standard of living for me..then i am lucky and i will settle there...

Deep down i am still pessimistic and egoistic at the same time. Weird combination but thats what i am. I have a short fuse and i simply refuse to share my thoughts with others. I would probably open up to my wife but she is the only one. I am a perfectionist. I am paranoid. I have a greed for power. I get jealous easily. These are the few of many flaws that i have and yet to rectify. I am trying my best but its hard to change into a whole new person completely different from the danver ppl use to know. I dunno. Maybe this is my character...see how it goes.

I find this song really sentimental and cool.

[Melodies of Life]

Alone for a while I've been searching through the dark
For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart
To weave by picking up the pieces that remain,
Melodies of life. Love's lost refrain

Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why
We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye
And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told
Let them ring out loud till they unfold
In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me
Though you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name

A voice from the past, joining yours and mine
Adding up the layers of harmony
And so it goes, on and on.
Melodies of Life,
to the sky beyond the flying birds, forever and beyond

So far and away, see the bird as it flies by
Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky
I've laid my memories and dreams upon those wings
Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings

In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me
Was it fate that brought us closer and now leaves me behind
A voice from the past, joining yours and mine.
Adding up the layers of harmony
And so it goes, on and on
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying bird, forever and on

If I should leave this lonely world behind,
Your voice will still remember our melody
Now I know we'll carry on
Melodies of Life, come circle round and grow deep in our hearts
as long as we remember

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wandered about without a destination
I searched on and on without a support
The memories that you gave me became a healing song to my heart

No promises were made then
No exchange of words are fixed too
Those days when we embraced and affirmed
Shall never return again

The picture of you waving hands in my memories
I can still hear you calling out my name

These tears that overflow shall become shining courage
Life will go onPassing through the night
Continuing towards a doubtless tomorrow
Towards the sky where the soaring birds are

Various memories I shall probably leave
Those fruitless hopes and dreams
I shall forget them somewhere where I can't reach

Can a chanced meeting be called "by chance"
When the time that two must part will definitely come?

Even if it is a fate to fade
As long as you liveLife will go on
Forever As long as that strength remains

Wherever it may beEven if I shall die
As long as you liveLife will go on
Forever As long as that strength remains
Goes on wherever it may be

The depression.

2007-03-31T08:57:00.000-07:00

I compare myself to others way too much. It's mentally and physically exhausting. Nowadays i have been feeling so frustrated with my family, my friends and my life, so much so that i will throw my temper around everyday i come home from army camp. Its been super unfair to the people around me but i just cant contain the anger within me. I have supressed my feelings for far too long..and i cant to share with others how i really feel. I feel that its futile, coz after all that talking and counselling, the problem will still be there.

I hunger for the feeling of superiority. Not that i want to show off to others that i am good but desire to feel good about myself. I really look forward to the day when i can actually accept who i am and not compare anymore. But i dunno whether that day would actually come. Honestly, i am sick of comparing. It is being really unfair to myself as a human being. One part of me wants to strive for greater heights but its being obsessive in that task, one part wants to be contented with the life i am currently living and just take things as it comes. I am torn between my 2 totally different mindsets...so much so that i become numb when i hang out with friends or family..

I wish that something would happen that would drastically change my life for the better.

The checklist

2007-03-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

OMG blogger is finally working.... but then i cant really type much coz my parents are sleeping and apparently when i type..the keyboard makes really loud disturbing noises...ah well since blogger is working..a quick update about myself.

- Army life has been a fulfilling and enriching experience.
- Made loads of new friends and brothers.
- Sunken into somewhat depression coz i self reflected too much in tekong.
- Frustrated with applications for courses and scholarships.
- Taking up classical guitar lessons at Yamaha.
- May consider giving night and weekend tuition.
- Afraid of commitment and responsibility.
- Finally registered for driving theory test on may 30th.
- Posted to Ayer Rajah as a technician.
- Love my new platoon and workplace. Life is getting interesting.
- Clubbed at Zouk for the first time on 21st march 2006.
- Cant believe that people actually ENJOY clubbing.
- Currently i have no social life coz all my friends are busy with stuff.
- I am busy too. Army is restricting my freedom.
- But who am i to complain..i have a 8-6 job and i can go home everyday.
- Plus i live in Dover..which is near my workplace.
- Thinking of taking up japanese lessons if there is time.
- Engaging in fitness training. OTOT.
- Ironically, i miss tekong..even though i hate the place.
- I miss the innocent days when everyone could meet up and chill.
- Many of my friends have left for overseas uni.
- Ichun went to ANU and jessica went to california.
- Considering overseas posting during army or uni. Maybe both.

Man i need new songs to spice up my life and get my mindset back on track. Honestly speaking, i am beginning to like being in a depressed and pessimistic state..this is bad. My friends and parents tell me that its bad but i just cant help feeling this way. I dont share my problems with anyone either. My blog aint gonna be a source to pour my worries and rant about my problems. Probably because i find it embarrassing to even mention about my problems..damn ego...its getting bigger and bigger by the day...people think i am crazy for not being satisfied with my grades and getting all depressed...i agree with them..man whats wrong with me...the years of bottling up my problems and true feelings has its consequences..negative ones of coz..

i wanna achieve loads of things at the end of my 2 year course. Unless i am enrolled into medical faculty, i hope i can achieve this list of things.

- Able to play the guitar.
- Speak japanese more fluently and learn how to write.
- 6 packs. Getting fitter. Much fitter.
- Strong enough to carry a girl.
- Driver's licence.
- Technician's licence.
- Computing course certificate.
- Being able to cook something.
- Girlfriend? ( optional ) ( Dont think it will happen either. )

Anyway gtg sleep. Now i got time to do what i want at night..gotta plan schedules and make full use of my time..aint gonna lose out to others. Cya.

Holidays are over. Time for the army experience.

2007-01-25T17:22:00.000-08:00

Hey guys sorry for not updating for the past few months..been really busy having fun during the holidays ever since A lvls ended..and i kinda neglected my blog coz i was getting bored of blogging..haha but i am here to update coz i am going to army in about a few hours time..yes gonna be sacked up in green black and grass...enjoying a rather long trip in tekong resort with a whole bunch of other guys sweating it out during hot weather and trudging through muddy grounds during wet weather..sounds really really fun huh..hahahaha who am i kidding...

BUT i am looking forward to the army experience. Coz i get to learn a whole lot more stuff there as compared to what girls learn during their working experience. Industrial attachments and actual working experience..been there done that..now i wanna learn survival skills..hahaha..but i really really hope that army would be kind to a pitiful soul like yours truly..hope i will get nice mentors who wouldnt push ppl around for no apparent reason..hope i will get to meet awesome friends there and hope i will emerge from the army experience..a better man.

The saying goes:" You enter the army as boys..u leave the army as men." That saying doesnt apply to me..coz i am already a man..i will just come out a better man...muahaha yes lame and ever so thickskinned..but whatever. Have been getting loads of advice from friends, family, relatives and random ppl here and there..seems that superstitions still linger around tekong island..apparently when i smell fragipani..i better run away lest the pontianak comes and rape me..haha plz..i dun even know how fragipani smells like..plus i heard from janah i mustnt bend down to get my soap bar when it drops on the floor..lest i get sodomised..then i was fooling around with her..pretending i didnt know the meaning of sodomised..hahaha. Heard there are wild boars which steal food and rummage through ur things...hmm..

On the other hand..reacreation facilities would be swell..too bad very few or no girls will be there to have fun with the guys..the poor guys have to survive and tame our urges by cracking sick jokes with one another...gosh it would be so gay...argghhhhhh...wish i had more female friends so that they will see me off at the jetty...so sad..sniff..

Whatever i am sure army will be great. Even if it isnt..i will make the best of what i have and make it great..hahaha. During the remainder of my holidays..auntie poh eng and uncle richard came over from seattle with my Xbox games that i ordered from the US..so far i have tried out 4 games..i still have 6 more games left unopened...all coz of army...i cant get a proper relief teaching or private tutoring job coz of army..i cant get a gf coz of army..i cant apply for a cooking course or computing course coz of army..i cant get my driver's licence coz of army..i cant hang out with my friends much coz they have jobs and school and i got army...i cant go overseas coz of army..i have to suffer by training my body up everyday in the gym coz of army.....etc....

To summarize..army disrupts my life..argghhh i better get sth good out of it..i wouldnt wanna waste my time there doing admin or storage duties..sentry duty is a waste of time too..i heard my seniors playing daidee at the causeway during their sentry duty..when their in charge came to check on them..this is the conversation.

Recruits: Eh sir whats up..wanna play asshole daidee?
Sergeant: What are you guys doing..u guys are supposed to be doing sentry duty..sure i will join
in..anyone got cigerattes?

How lame.

Gonna be deprived of girls!!!!! Raging hormones! I better hang out with girls after my 2 weeks of confinement otherwise i would probably go crazy trying to resist my urges..hahaha..sound so desperate...

Yup i guess thats it. Long enough entry for ya priya? hahaha u wanted me to update after all...well hope i survive the army. Dun miss me too much ppl..i dun think anyone would even notice i am gone...hahaha...urgh...Cya in 2 weeks. Peace.

My holiday still

2006-12-05T00:19:00.000-08:00

Continuation of my holidays.

[30th November]
Eric's birthday. Brian and Eric came early and so we went to the home theatre room that i booked at my place. Watched austin powers and xiangshan came. Finished the movie and bryan and xueming came. Xiangshan eric and bryan went to the tennis courts to play some tennis and apparently they brought eric's supersoaker there to shoot water at eric..hahaha..xueming brian and i played 3 player mahjong at the home theatre room. The other 3 went swimming and edwina came..so we finally had a 4th player. Mathan came and i joined the guys to swim while xueming and brian were watching spiderman 2.. We were busy pushing ppl into the pool and splashing water at each other..haha damn fun. Went back to the threatre room to watch spiderman 2 while chowing down on pizza and chicken wings ordered by eric :D Thx man. Then we brought up the cake and sliced the cake...after eating we played some dare game..mostly involving myself and eric...haha eric and i had to feed each other cake..which was supppperrr gay...edwina and i had to give eric a lapdance..i am on the right and she on the left..haha..mathan and xueming were having a water gun fight..then we locked them in the pantry room..and when we let them out..they fired water at all of us...then eric had to be tied up using the ribbon from the cake..and it looked like he was enjoying his bondage session...xiangshan was tricked into eating the plastic stuff from the cake..thinking they were chocolate..hahaha..

After all that fun in the home theatre..eric mathan edwina xiangshan and myself went to holland V to have an alcoholic beverage at the british rose cafe :D I ordered some blue hawaiian hybrid drink and apparently the guys thought it tasted like cod fish..but i loved it..eric and edwina's tasted like cough medicine. Mathan's drink was nice. Xiangshan ordered hot choc..haha..and i had the courage to ask joanna out in the presence of my friends..but it was cool coz she agreed :D Yayness! Haha..had a walk with eric all the way back to fairfield methodist and we chatted and became high..uber fun.

[1st December]
Soccer in the morning with the TK gang at chai chee as usual. Went to play lan with anthony brian and kenneth at katong shopping centre. Played dota and zakir joined us after a while..man i am so noob in dota...ah well...it was kinda fun though..went to play pool with nallu anan mathan and priya after lan at classic pool...its been a long time since i have been there and i totally miss that place..and they have closed the extensions coz they were kinda losing business for reasons unknown..but the ambience and pool tables were still in tip tip condition as usual and it was awesome playing pool with the gang. Sasi joined us after a while and we played. Sasi is pro la in pool..totally thrashed nallu and mathan team in one game..then anan and i made a team calling ourselves the yinyang twins..hahaha..after pool..mathan priya and i went to parkway foodcourt to have dinner and catch up on things..went home after that.

[2nd December]
Anthony day. Met anthony at singapore post. Had lunch at the foodcourt and chatted loads about anime..his aussie life..computers..my life..and loads other stuff..went to singapore post to purchase stamps coz anthony had to post a letter to his crush in the US..haha he met her in maple..so cool..so they are kinda like penpals...anyway..we went to his house for a while..and i was introduced into playing maple again coz i was so bored of my current games..haha..

Played tennis and i showed him my new move :D And i can serve better :D We played a mixed doubles match against some caucasian and some chinese..we were winning 3-0 but then they won 6 matches in a row after that...haha utter thrashing..then we switched partners and i was a team with the girl..then we won against anthony and the guy...haha but we had fun and it was a great workout..it was fun playing tennis with anthony again..

Went to parkway ajisen ramen to chow down on some ramen..met my primary school classmate even though she didnt recognise me in the first place...nvm..after ramen we went around parkway for a while and we went home after that..anthony left for indo the day after..hope he will be back soon.

[3rd December]
Dont remember doing anything on this day..oh wait yeah i did go out..went to expo with my dad to search for some electronic stuffs..computers and handphones etc..i saw this toys for boys exhibition..quite cool..plus there were hot models posing for photos there..they were advertising for car models and shag magazine..met eston and shumin there. Then went to bugis coz it was too crowded at expo..and gosh i saw eston again in bugis..so freaky...like he was stalking me or sth..haha i hope not..anyway went to buy a sony T10 cybershot from simlim just for prom...haha how dumb but the model is so nice! I love the design and the sleekness of the camera..plus its black :D Bought acne concealer at seiyu bugis too...feeling like some spendthrift...urgh...and i still owe my aunt 500bucks for Xbox games...

[4th December]
Hm fantastic day. Went out with joanna in the afternoon..ate lunch at fish and co..at first i felt kinda awkward coz after all it was the first time i have been together with her one on one..but her friendliness kinda ease the awkwardness..and shortly after i became the sarcastic self i usually am with my close friends instead of the antisocial guy when with strangers..talked a lot about relationships,marriage,kids,careers,universities applications,NS,school days..etc. So she is still undecided about going to US or staying in singapore for university education..which leaves me in a dilemma still..hmm..

Went to swensens for ice cream..talked some more..walked her home and i realised that she has been living near andreas' house all this while and i have never met her in parkway area or near andreas' house for the past 6 years...maybe i did but i didnt recognize her then..her house is huge..rich girl..haha..crashed at andreas' place for a while coz i was bored and i was stranded in the middle of nowhere and all my friends were busy with the own stuff...andreas is actually a super nice guy once ppl get to know him better...for my case i wasnt really close to him so i was kinda hesitant when it comes to approaching him..but we became closer friends today..we confused ppl on msn..played some dota..watched some stupid stuff on youtube..and he lent me PS games :D Yayness.

Met up with priya at parkway for dinner. Well 2 dates on the same day is the record for now..hahaha but it was awesome too. Went to crystal jade and chicken noodles was recommended but it wasnt really my taste..haha sorry priya..but it was great catching up on things with her..plus she still likes kids and i still hate kids...annoying kids at the crystal jade..just like those annoying kids at swensens...then we went to classic pool which is void of irritating wails and screaming from adolescents and toddlers. Ambience nice as always and it was great playing pool with priya once again..and her skills have improved so much..guess all she needed was confidence in her pokes. So now she has surpassed me in pool..yayness...i need to brush up on pool too..walked priya all the way to neptune court near VJ..yes walking 2 girls home on the same day is tiring..haha but it was nice..and she pointed at the full moon coz she didnt believe the chinese superstition..chatted a whole lot more..and finally we bode farewell and went home.

[5th December]
Prom day. Unexcited coz my gang wasnt there to enjoy the formal overrated occasion. Wore my TK suit once again. Brian and Joel came to my place to dress up for prom. 3 of us got a ride from my dad to ritz carlton..and it was raining heavily over there..hence causing a super big jam on the expressway..

I shall just summarize the prom event coz it isnt that big of a deal. Formal gowns and suits..Ppl like mathan wearing hats..hot girls with french hats..bimbos desperately taking photos with everyone and flirting with guys..guys acting cool in return..eric ogling at a certain girl who looks pretty too..i saw her and she looked awesome..settled down at the ballroom..ice sculpture of the effiel tower which was melting from the heat emitted by the spotlights..thus it looked like the leaning tower instead..ppl more concerned about taking photos than anything else within the ballroom..no one cared about the competitions and what ppl had to say on the stage..turned out to be a major photo taking session..brian and i were reminiscing about the TK prom which was so much better than the AC prom..lucky he was on the same table as me...food was pathetic..nice but in small portions..took photos with the class and friends..sang the AC anthem at the end of prom..blah blah..endo story.

Post prom was so much more fun than prom. Didnt go DXO with the other AC posers..instead i went to clarke quey with my close friends..Xueming Brian Edwina Eric and i went to an indian pub..and i ordered black label for the first time..it was burning my throat but i loved the taste...14 bucks though..pain..brian got allergic reaction coz of the smoke and he went home..then xueming edwina eric and i went to macs to give edwina a treat..haha i met haris and his MJ friends at macs..and we chatted about our individual proms..guess MJ prom sucked too...haha..went to carlton hotel coz they booked rooms there..watched soccer with xueming and eric..acted gay in the hotel room..everyone was super tired..ordered tiramisu cake for edwina..they planned to spring a surprise..but i went home coz my dad arrived..haha..overall..prom sucked. Overrated crap..and total waste of 90 bucks.

Reached home at 4am. Slept at 5am.

[6th December]
Shagged from prom. Stayed at home.

[7th December]
Stayed at home still.

[8th December]
Night cycling event organised by my ex 4A classmates. Met kevin at mandarin gardens and headed for siumin's place to meet up with siumin and marie. Went to east coast lagoon to have our dinner..the oyster omelette and hokkien mee were delicious..walked slowly to east coast macs to order some ice cream and rent our bikes. Sengyong, zj, junhe, zakir, benchan and lyndon were cycling.

My holiday

2006-12-02T23:55:00.000-08:00

Brief update of my days after As.

[23rd November]
End of As has arrived. Last day of As ended off well with a rather well done bio MCQ paper. Had a nice afternoon lunch with my class at swensens at crown hotel near paragon. Baked chicken rich is nice even though its kinda ex. Met up with zamir at wisma atria to play some cards. Met up with the rest of TK gang at cineleisure at around 6. It was a day when the whole TK gang was reunited and everyone was present..it was a cool experience. KFC coleslaw exploded in my bag coz i tried to smuggle it into the theatre. Zakir and i got locked out coz we thought the exit door was the way to the toilet. Zamir helped us re-enter the theatre. Tenacious D was lame but awesome. Featuring dave grohl as satan..jack black as a rock star wannabe..and the pick of destiny..haha i liked the scene when jack black took poisonous mushrooms..and he drifted off to some fantasy world where he was having a fun time with wet and wild..but in reality he was floating in some rapids..hahaha damn funny.

[24th November]
Soccer in the morning with the TK gang. Unhealthy me..must work out sometime soon. Played lan with nallu brian kenneth and jingyang after soccer. Played battlefied and dota..After lan, brian jingyang and i went to katong news agency to get some mixed candy which was really sweet and we reminisced about the old TK days. Then we headed to SPC station near TKGS to have some instant noodles and chatted a bit more..it was fun.

[25th November]
Went shopping with Eric and Bryan around town. Bryan was searching for some shirts at FOS and i bought a shirt there too. We had fun trying out clothes and i dared eric to try out some pink sweater meant for girls but in the end bryan tried it...haha bryan is so thin..he can even try out clothes for kids...eric looked gay in some blue shirt coz it made him look muscular..like some guy who works in california fitness..haha the shirt brought out the size of his torso and biceps ( actually more fats than muscles...haha dun cry eric..) Then we bought some snacks from old chang kee..and we went to play pool at meridien shopping centre..rusty skills coz we havent played pool in ages...but still manage to hit some pro shots..hehe..they went home after pool and i had dinner at long john silver before going home.

[26th November]
Did i do anything? Hm cant remember..think i stayed at home..watched scrubs and samurai X..plus i tried to learn origami online but the diagrams are so freaking confusing..calling out to all my friends who knows how to make origami..plz accept me as your disciple..hahaha

[27th November]
I remember i was busy making plans for the week..and i remember that i had so many plans that apparently i had to go out everyday for the rest of the week..haha but it was fun calling everyone up and making plans to hang out..plus i watched more scrubs and samurai X. Desperate for new games.

[28th November]
Lanning session with the class guys and kaisin near paradiz centre. Met edwin at dhoby ghaut MRT and i didnt get lost! Achievement. Met up with Leonard and Jason and we headed to the lan shop. There wasnt any CS went we reached there and we had to play battlefield instead. Krishmen came from his orchard home and joined us. We had fun capturing flags..killing ppl with guns and running ppl down with heavy armored vehicles..kamikaze with helicopters coz we couldnt properly control them..kaisin and jueluo joined us and we played against artificial intelligence bots..super fun trying to capture the enemy flags..then we played among ourselves and we had fun colliding into each other with vehicles..backstabbing..sniping and practically trying to stay alive..leonard even made a map that was super high level and the enemy bots could kill us in one hit if we are spotted..we almost won with our teamwork..too bad we couldnt capture the last enemy flag..hahaha

In the evening..met nallu and mathan at HMV at city hall. Walked around suntec and we came across a shop selling real weapons like swords and katanas. That inspired me to be a weapon collector..since i have no cash now coz i am still an unemployed teenager awaiting As results..i shall purchase daggers and small display swords coz they are much cheaper than the swords and other weapons which cost from 300 minimum to 1k. The designs are awesome and i'm gonna buy more as i become richer in the future. Had lunch at kopitiam. Met up with priya to settle some impeding issues. Glad we cleared all the misunderstandings we had over blogs and issues with nallu and misconceptions. Its kinda silly to think that online things can affect our lives and relationships so much..see how powerful the internet is..it can change lives literally..gosh..more importantly..i was hoping that the whole issue would have a happy ending and i and glad it happened. We became friends once again but nive still has a bit of a problem with priya..so nallu cant really hang out with priya anymore..which is kinda sad..sasi came and we chatted a bit on soccer and stuff..we headed to gelare and mathan nallu and myself treated ourselves to ice cream and waffles. It was nice even though it was painful for my wallet..went home.

When i reached home..anthony said he was back in singapore..but only for 5 days..bugger...haha

[29th November]
Met mathan brian and kenneth at parkway to eat and shop for Eric's present. Settled for a shoebag and a pencil case. Met up with nally shortly after we bought our gifts and we had a talk about issues..yes life is full of issues..then brian kenneth and myself went to world of JJ at eunos MRT to play some magic. Triple threat matches were fun :D. Had to rush down to marine parade CC to meet the 4A ppl to play some long awaited badminton. Met up with kevin mavis ben anthony and siumin and we played badminton. Unhealthy coz i was tired after a few matches..haha but it was awesome to play doubles with ben and siumin and reliving the TK days when we could play badminton without caring about studies. Playing badminton and seeing anthony once again was refreshing. He has long hair as usual coz he doesnt want to cut in expensive australian hairdressers..haha..jamie came late and played a bit of badminton. We headed to parkway after badminton to have lunch at pastamania and everyone was enjoying their meal and catching up on things..Gossiping was fun and chatting with everyone else was a pleasant experience. Window shopped a bit after dinner to digest the food..went home.

Gosh i am tired. Will update the rest on another day. I wanna learn cooking, interior design and computing..plus i wanna have a relief teaching post in some school..hopefully either TK or ACJC. CyaZ.

The end of the third chapter

2006-11-26T23:47:00.000-08:00

Well As are over. Sure celebrations are super fun and enjoyable and all that..meeting up with my TK gang and slacking like nobody's business is the thing i have been looking forward to during the course of A level examinations. It is great meeting up with old friends and reminisce about the past, enjoy the present and anticipate the future. It's strange that even though the end of As is here..somehow i dont feel that exhilarated about this whole experience of all play and no work. Not that i feel guilty or anything..its just that there are a lot of things on my mind right now..

Firstly, the end of the third chapter. I feel that the whole experience of JC is ending too fast. I still want to have lessons with my classmates. I still want to see my AC friends everyday and insinuate eric about his darling. I still want to have meaningless crushes and flirt with girls. I still want to prepare for a second fun-o-rama. There are so many things i wish i can continue doing but time does not permit. It's time to move on to the next chapter of my life..which is either NS or university depending on my results. JC was a bittersweet experience. Chapel and excessive persuasion to attend church sessions and class cells are things i wouldnt miss. I just wish certain christians would respect other ppl's religions more. I wont miss arrogant posers and suck ups which are plentiful in AC. But i am going to miss so many more things that i may never have another chance to experience them in the future. It's just so fast. I am worried about my results. For the past 12 years of my education in Singapore, i wasnt satisfied with my results. Perhaps my expectations are too high. Counsellors, parents, relatives, friends and teachers have been telling me to lower my expectations and accept everything in due course..otherwise i would end up living a very miserable life. But i just cant seem to silence my inner voice. My ego overpowers me..its my character and because i am the only child in the family, i am obligated to succeed in life. I am putting pressure on myself even though everyone else around me doesnt do that..i am so stupid for doing that but its like a condition reflex. I gotta change for the better.

Secondly, NS is coming. The start of the 4th chapter in my life is coming soon. I dunno what to expect. No one can tell me exactly what i am going to experience in tekong. More importantly, i am worried about being bullied by the other guys because i am physically weak. Consolation is that i am in Pes C and i would probably have a slack life in NS. But i wanna learn a lot in NS. Learn more about self discipline, anger management, tolerance, respect, trust and other life skills. All these would make me become a better and more matured man.

Thirdly, her. I feel kinda silly having a crush on her during the period between the end of prelims and the start of As. But i just cant help it..coz we became much better friends during the course of self study break. We met up in school quite a lot to consult teachers and we became study partners. We formed a study group and became much more comfortable being around with each other. It was a very awesome experience. Studying with fun is so heartening and i wish the experience would never end. Her smile brightens up my day and most of the time, her actions amuse me. She is optimistic whereas i am pessimistic..and i need her to show me the other side of the coin. We helped each other out in various ways..not just studies..and honestly speaking i needed her to comfort me when i was sad...We poked fun at each other a lot.. plus i like the way she pouts..When As was ending..i was kinda sad coz i realised that it meant that it would be the last few chances i get to see her..Prom would be the last time. Blame myself for being such a coward coz i dun even dare to ask her out for coffee or a movie.. i dont even know whether i should confess.. She is most probably studying overseas...i am going to miss her smile..the times we poked fun at each other..her lame jokes..her laughter..everything..and i am in dilemma..

Lastly, problems with my old friends. I wonder if there is such thing as everlasting friends..probably not..but what we can do is try our best to sustain the friendships. Instead of pointing fingers and blaming one another, we ought to at least put in some effort to resolve conflicts in a peaceful manner..hoping for a more favourable outcome of happily ever after. Like the saying goes..it is difficult to form a bond but easy to break a bond. Relationships are fragile..thus we should be considerate in our actions and speech. I wouldnt want to break off from being friends over some stupid conflict that can be easily resolved..its just not worth it..if we think about the times when we had fun and put in so much effort to establish the closeness in the frienship..wont it be a pity if the bond is just broken just like that? But due to certain circumstances, ppl do change. Differences would arise and this would cause further conflict. The only thing constant in the world is change. How ironic. In order to achieve equilibrium, ppl are consistently shifting to attempt to attain it. It's either compromise and accomodation, or the termination of the frienship..that's harsh reality.

I have been reading up on buddhist teachings and scriptures. The content is intriguing and enlightening. Somehow i feel more matured after reading such books. But it takes time for my actions to show the slightest improvements in maturity..working on it though.

Things i wanna do before entering NS.
- Get the Xbox games from my US auntie and play to my heart's content.
- Meet up with old friends.
- Prepare for prom.
- Play tennis and badminton.
- Train in the gym.
- Learn origami.
- Learn cooking.
- Pick up basic theory for driving.
- Rock the house with GD.
- Sleepovers.
- Pubbing and clubbing.
- Do charitable activities for the salvation army or the red cross.
- Hang out at the beach.
- Go to vivo city.
- Movie marathon.
- Christmas celebrations.
- Confess to her. ( if i have the courage )
- Visit nostalgic places..namely balestier and ubi.

Loads more.

Awesome depressing song by nickelback. Title is Far Away. Totally describes my love life. Pathetic...

Anyway super long post ends now. Will update about my As experience in detail some other time. Till then..cyaZ.

FUN FUN FUN

2006-09-04T10:11:00.001-07:00

Its been a super fun experience this week ever since prelim ended like eons ago. Had so much fun till i neglected my blog and readers have been complaining that i dun update..so here goes my week's experience.

[Friday 1st sept]
Did nothing on teachers day. I was worried coz i didnt have any solid plans for the sept hols. Studied math and watched prince of tennis again! Prince of tennis rawkz my world. Sick tennis moves makes me awe with my jaws wide open. Plus the storyline is awesome.

[Saturday 2nd sept]
Tovya's birthday. I did a very stupid thing of going to her house without informing her that i was going to her place. Apparently i wanted to spring a surprise on her but turns out that she wasnt present at home when i called her..and she was asking why why why and i wanted to pass her her gift on her birthday so die die must meet her. Luckily she was in school and i passed the gift to her at the lobby..and apologized if i made her uncomfortable in any way..bet she was feeling uncomfortable at that point of time due to her shocked expression..damn..anyway yeah thats it..had to say farewell to the eeyore..i may buy one for myself..hahahaha

Met Zamir zakir and alvin in VJ for some funfair. Met Ashvin and he seems to be doing fine. Met Zamir's friends and watched choir band and dance performances. All cool but AC is better! Muahaha. Met marie and chatted with her for quite a bit. Then the VJ fair got boring and i went to parkway to chow down on food.

Went to brian's place to group study but i think we were talking more than studying..haha the tendency..i was pouring out my woes regarding girl issues and he was letting me listen to mr brown's podcast on maid abuse..LOL and we listened to jap songs and figured out math problems together..my best friend for 6 years and running. Awesome.

Then we travelled to Ubi to meet mathan and deepan. Priya couldnt make it unfortunately. Nallu had some astrology thing at his place. Super cool to see deepan again..he is preparing for prelims while we were laughing at him..LOL i couldnt finish 2 pratas! GOD. Talked about soccer and school stuff. Prayed to Buddha in Maha Bodhi before i left Ubi. Realised my blue shirt was trapped under a car tyre when i left. Luckily mathan helped me pick it up.

[Sunday 3rd Sept]
Met up with brian and jingyang at jingyang's place to group study. Tried out the eyecare thingy at jingyang's place..no immediate effect but my eyes were teary coz i was staring at focused and unfocused coloured circles moving around. Group study wasnt effective but it was cool meeting with fellow 2D classmates and GD members. We went to KFC but it was crowded..so macs was the next best alternative..talked some more and i love mayonnaise and the chilli in macs! Went walking with brian around his neighbourhood at night coz my dad could only arrive at 9 plus..awesome but kinda gay..but what the heck..he is my best friend after all..we have been through thick and thin together and i mean it NOT in a gay way. A true friend and GD brother. We just chatted about TK and about his neighbourhood and houses! Haha super fun. Went home.

[Monday 4th sept]
No plans. But i called eric last minute and i spent the day with him and pamela! Went to Bestway building which was some ulu building near MAS to read up about american universities with the both of them. Pamela wants to major in dance and eric wants to major in arts psychology. Me? Unsure still. Between gynae and teaching i guess...hahaha depends on whether i can get a scholarship. Went to eat dinner at Amara Shopping centre..i kept telling eric to pull up his pants when his mom called..LOL..drank herbal soup. Yum.

Went with eric to jurong point to play pool. We had loads of fun and we didnt suck! Suprisingly i still had my tyco aura and eric had some luck too! We played quite a number of skilled shots too u know..and the ball flew out quite a number of times too...had whacking will cause balls to fly..sounds wrong..LOL we each won 3 games and lost 3 games..draw...we are equal when it comes to pool standard! Drank ice blended coffee called the ultimate..so suited for me..LOL but it was nice..blended coffee with choc chips and whipped cream. We walked around Toys R us! haha deprived childhood..and comic connection and arcades...and chatted about life. Chatted on the MRT too. Eric had a cool zen vision! I want! Its user friendly..haha went home.

I need to go shopping. Loads of plans coming up. Class outing and gift purchase tmr. Buffet treat for GD on wed. Shopping on thurs and fri. Dunno when the badminton khakis playing badminton..hopefully soon. Cya guys.

FUN FUN FUN

2006-09-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

Teachers day celebrations 2006

2006-08-31T08:20:00.000-07:00

[31st August Thursday]
Today is teachers' day! The highly anticipated day where it is full of fun and laughter..but when i woke up this morning..it was raining very heavily in the west and the sky was as black as ever..is the monsoon season here? Lol nvm..so i did sth only spoilt brats would do..i asked my dad to fetch me to school via car coz i didnt wanna get my shoes wet after the experience the day before..haha yes spoilt but what the heck..it is tough crossing the road during a heavy downpour...muahaha

Teachers' day celebrations was super fun in AC. Summarised version coz i have loads more to update and i am kinda sleepy. AC survivor series: Outwit outmark and outlast. The school council did a video that shows how students and teachers outwit each other and there is a scoreboard. They did the mentos ad on the guy walking backwards to trick the teacher into thinking he is leaving the class when he was actually late..Mr. Barry woolhead talking in chinese asking for hw but got 4 different subtitles! Including tamil! Multiracialism..then he said: Wo yao song ni qu zhuo detention! in an angmoh accent..distorted version of chinese..hahaha..The council ppl also showed how ppl tried to climb over the back gate to escape but the SWAT team would stop them. SWAT stands for student welfare action team and they were carrying baseball bats and nailing the students police style..hahaha the videos were damn funny...plus got a video of Mr. Lim See poi racing with a J1 but the J1 couldnt outrun the teacher..victory for the teacher..hahaha

Choir performance but i cant appreciate it. Jazz ensemble was awesome. Stephen beatboxing while choir alumni performed was cool too. Mr. Barry Woolhead singing: Wake me up when the lecture ends created by Krishmen! Dance ensemble provided a dance. Young teachers sang some song. A J1 band played and sang a song for the teachers. Lame jokes made be the commentators and hosts..what does the victory stick and teachers have in common..they are both staff...and why did cyclops have to close down his school? Coz he only had one pupil...LAME but it was so lame till it was funny..hahaha..Mathan eric and i went wild! Mathan shouting and going crazy..hahaha..prize presentation for long term service teachers. Thats it.

Watched my class present the video to Mdm clare teo but i had to leave. Gave mathan arvin brian and jessica a lift to the east. Reached TK and i felt nostalgic...seeing familiar faces...ppl of the same generation as me..didnt meet the teachers coz i went to TK to meet my friends..Met Jessie and Paula after such a long time..gosh i miss them..and i chatted for quite a long time with them. Met my chess juniors and my beloved GD gang! Brian Mathan Zamir Zakir Kenneth Jingyang Dehong Nallu and myself have reunited once again. Spend quite a long time in TK and we chatted loads..updating ourselves on one another...saw ichun too but couldnt chat with her coz the gang is going to katong shopping centre..

CS again was fun coz it was with the gang..pool day..haha mathan and nallu were going hysterical over the kills made by everyone..haha and it was damn amusing. After a while mathan nallu and i got sian and we went to play pool while the others played dota. Played pool for 2 hours and it was awesome..my luck returned! I regained my pool skills and luck was on my side..made loads of skilled shots and no tyco shots! And i won most of the games...hm..my pool skills are supposed to be rusty..hahaha...and the 3 of us talked about stuff regarding our lives..awesome.

Makaned at parkway foodcourt but on the way there it was like the fellowship experience again..walking in the rain with a small umbrella...ate chicken rice and the rest joined us to makan soon after. We went to look around at the sport shop which we bought nallu's crouch guard..hahaha and bought green tea. We went off to TK to play street soccer despite the slight drizzle..but TK was closed..so we went to haig court but it was crowded..but still we played 7 vs 11..kinda crowded but heck..then we played with the kids living in that neighbourhood..i scored a hat trick! And i saved a damn power shot aiming directly at me..muahahahaha skilled...and nallu was being a referee/ scarecrow...doing nth but still scoring some tyco and skilled goals..LOL

We parted around 6.30. Dehong followed me to singapore post to makan dinner. Met jessica ichun tunghoe and matthew and chatted with them for a bit before they left..dehong and i had a memorable one on one chat..sounds gay but what the heck..we are GD brothers. Talked about problems while we ate...Dehong got braces! Wooohoo !! I bought beer after that and we seperated soon after. Went home.

FIR RAWKZ. I like their songs plus the female singer..muahaha..and jessie told me that her friends find me hot!!! Unbelievable..Joanna also initiated an online conversation with me all of a sudden which was unexpected..haha..called eric and chatted with him for a bit..long day but super nice way to celebrate the end of prelims..and it was quite a smooth day after all.

Judgment day is coming..hopefully it can be smooth too.

PRELIMS ARE OVER!

2006-08-31T08:08:00.000-07:00

Prelims are freaking over!!! YES they are officially over! The 3 week ordeal is done and over with and i have never felt so carefree and elated in the month of august...now we can mock at other ppl have prelims after sept hols while i can slack during sept hols..but definitely not gonna slack so much..gonna do more work coz prelims had quite a number of loopholes and flaws which i am gonna correct...the most exasperatiing thing is that right after prelims..i had nth to do and no plans whatsoever so i had to be a loser by staying at home rotting..how pathetic is the celebrations...

[Wednesday 30th Aug]
LAN day with the guys. Supposedly at some place called ginza..hope i am spelling it correctly..some ulu shopping centre...krishmen, edwin, jue luo, marvin, leonard, jason and i played a solid 4 hours CS shootout which was freaking fun..i thought i had quitted LAN gaming for good coz it was boring and waste of money..but today i was proved wrong coz it was really awesome...scout snipers plus knife maps..iceworld..assault..aztec..dedust..loads more..and we played against leonard and his friends..super fun and we proved to be the superior team! Muahaha but it was a good game overall..

Bought a cake base for the cake the girls baked for mdm clare teo at some confectionary. When we went out of the shopping centre, we thought it was nightfall but realised it was only 5pm. A black sky loomed right above us and we practically ran to the bus stop..but the downpour came down and we were soaked at the bus stop coz the wind kept blowing the rain in...so we were hurdling like a couple of gay penguins while waiting for the bus...so we came up like a game to play..we are the fellowship like in LOTR coz there are 9 guys in the class but 2 are missing...we braved the thunderstorm and boarded the bus to eunice's place..we dropped at buona vista mrt station and changed bus to ulu pandan CC..we were drenched and the girls came with umbrellas..we have to continue the journey on foot coz eunice's place is some bungalow in some ulu place...so we braved the storm once again and the cars whizzing past sprayed water at us! But it was an awesome experience..like training for army days..

Ate dinner at eunice's place..spaghetti, fried shrimps..ribs..blah blah and other rich man's food..and we did the video testimonial as a gift for mdm clare teo for teachers' day. The guys purposely mouthed the words so the screen shows that they are talking with no sounds and just subtitles...hahaha..i did my testimonial with some lame skit with the guys pointing at each other including myself..jason and gang did analogies of mdm. Went home late. Awesome class party.

Prelims are almost over!

2006-08-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

Prelims are almost over! Yes i can taste freedom! The exhilarating feeling i get when i finished my bio paper was indescribable...it was more of an emotional roller coaster ride coz i was pondering over whether peaunt is a dicotyledonous seed or not...then i decided to ask Mr. Joogal Kishor and he said it is!! Yes i answered the germination question correctly coz it asked for a freaking named example..hahaha and surprisingly econs paper was fantastic! I was satisfied with my answer for the first time and i could finish my DRQ and case study on time! Uber cool. Today was a good day...plus all the tough times are officially over..just left with bio and chem mcq next week..yup. Prelims you are going down soon! Muahahahahaha ok i think i am going hysterical..someone save me..i cant control this ecstatic feeling! Ahhhhh..insanity...

Bleaurgh

Ok cell group after bio with my class was yet another nice experience. I love cell group sessions with the class coz we get to share our problems..interact..express our feelings and share meaningful experiences with one another..Class bonding...though i am the only non christian there..the group consisted of michelle tovya eunice rachel jaime edwin and myself. Edwin called me from the classroom when he could see me..and i was like rummaging through my bag searching for my phone..and i thought he was eric when i picked it up...and i even looked up at the tree when edwin told me he was up on the tree..that was like super stupid and everyone laughed but at least it livened up the atmosphere..hahaha..everyone was relieved that tough exams are finally over...seems that some are kinda disappointed with themselves and i wish i could do sth for them yet i feel so helpless...

I do wanna practise unconditional love..not doing something for another person just to expect sth in return..i wanna mature and get out of that hope belief system..i dun wanna do things just to gain acceptance or to seek attention..i wanna do good without any strings attached..yet it is hard to accept that coz firstly i am a Leo. Leos have big egos and love attention..secondly..my human nature is such that i always wish the other party would do sth nice in return...thats y i am desperately trying to grow out of that and sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of others...sounds tough..yeah it is..no one said it was easy.

Anyway back to cell group session. Worship was cool in the sense that everyone was so solemnly praying and praising God that i admire such unity and their strong relationship with God. Their faith and hope in Him is commendable..sth i will never be able to achieve coz i wanna achieve self reliance..or at least working towards achieving it. Its hard talking to someone else about my problems..so i bottle them up..and i told the rest about this habit of mine..slowly but surely i am opening up..but its tough..yet again no one said it was easy.

Life IS a bed of roses. It is full of beautiful enchanting flowers yet among those lovely things lie sharp pricking thorns. Equilibrium is a state of balance...yet the whole world is constantly shifting in order to attain equilibrium..sounds so philosophical..Danver's theories..hahahaha

I want everyone else to be happy..doesnt matter whether i am happy or not..as long as the rest are.

I am blogging so much coz prelims are more or less over and i have nth better to do...next week is kinda busy? Surprisingly. Bio and chem mcq. Econs lessons after teachers day celebrations which i am trying to opt for a reschedule...gosh my econs teacher...hahaha plus going back to TK hopefully..I REALLY WANT TO GO BACK!!! NO ECONS LESSONS PLZ!!! I WANT A MAKE UP SESSION SOME OTHER TIME!!!! PLZ !!!! Class outing next wed. Birthday treat on 6th sept..hope everything can be smooth sailing!!!!!!

My birthday! Prelims!

2006-08-19T06:50:00.000-07:00

Well on the 16th august was my 18th Birthday! But i couldnt celebrate it because of stupid prelims! Ah well nvm it feels great to be 18. Here's a list of what i can do even though i have already been doing some of them before i was 18..haha sinful sinful..

1) Alcohol indulgence
2) Driver's licence
3) Smoking
4) M18 videos and movies
5) Relief teaching in a proper school
6) Clubbing

I am so gonna frequent pubs and lounges during sept hols and after As...and indulge myself in various alcoholic beverages till i am dead drunk..wanna have the experience of being high, feeling intoxicated and having a subsequent hangover the next morning...yup so i guess number 1 and 6 on the list are the things i am looking forward to i guess..i have yet to properly celebrate my liberation..another round of restraining chains have been officially removed from my soul...feels awesome even though i have yet to abuse my authority..ah well..soon soon..

More importantly, my prelims are doing great! Hopefully the rest of the papers can be done smoothly too...GP was good..the compre wasnt that tough after all...Kinda worried about econs essay though coz i seem to have screwed up like 8 marks worth of content..so hopefully i can still do well in econs...yup...math was great. Chem paper 3 on my birthday was great too..maybe its due to birthday luck and all the wishes i received from friends and relatives...hahaha...bio rawked too :D And now its the 5 day break but 2 days have passed already...damn...haha but better to get it over and done with sooner.

Celebrating my uncle's birthday at some hotel at sentosa tmr evening...yup its gonna be an awesome experience meeting up with my cousins again...gonna wreck havoc and venture around the hotel..esp the gym!

Teachers' day celebrations coming up! Major GD outing on 31st aug..be sure to meet up in TK yeah guys...and i bought an eeyore plushie at tiong bahru plaza...became better friends with bryan fang coz i have been hanging out with him and eric kinda frequently recently...super nice guy to tag team in suanning eric! Hahaha interesting fella from CJC.

Thats it. My name is earl is starting soon. Gonna watch it..Peace out.

National Day Eve and Screamos !!!

2006-08-08T08:53:00.000-07:00

Today was a short day due to national day celebrations..like how many students ponned to study for their prelims..mad muggers..ah wateva...anyway seems that when i arrive..i got a shock coz 2SD4 only had xueming and eric and she was present for the celebrations! I was like whoa..ok..didnt expect this turn of events but it was pleasant to see her again...seems she is doing well..ok anyway i sat with eric and xueming..joining their pathetic class attendence..haha my class had 9 ppl including me..then we got high and 2SA1 joined us! Sailesh and joel came over..brian and mathan ponned..buggers..hahaha nvm..we had fun with sailesh. The formal part of the celebrations was boring..speeches and more speeches...CID officer was the GOH. Ok anyway the fun part came when we started singing the national day songs..everyone stood on their chairs and swayed and sang their hearts out!!!! WOOOOHOOO!! We went freaking high and started jumping on the chairs and i was busy poking eric with marvin and krishmen..damn fun..hahaha then we put our arms around our friends' shoulders and sang our hearts out too..and we did screamos towards the end of some lyrics...like [ we are singapore..we are singapore..we will stand together, hear the lion RAWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRR ] and [ this is my country, this is my flag, this is my future, this is my LIFFFFFFFFFFEEEE ] and [ This is home surely, as my senses tell me, this is where i wont be ALOONNNNEEEEEEE ] Hahahahaha damn fun!!! So funny seeing everyone going high and not caring that prelims is around the corner...fun memories...another round during graduation.

Stayed back for a while in jap cafe..had snacks with eric and xueming..and reminisce about our love lives..hahaha..ah well.

PRELIMS!!! U ARE GOING DOWN!!!

Prelim Preparations

2006-08-06T06:39:00.000-07:00

Stupid prelims. Long time no update coz prelims is the culprit. Damn prelims..making ppl stressed up for nth..14 aug is a super long day too..econs paper3 and GP..so its like 5 essays? Damn...life is so horrible during this point of time..when u see everyone being so competitive and so kanchiong..all mugging hard for exams...she is also as distant as before...maybe even more distant? I dunno..i seriously dun understand her...but it doesnt matter...i bet she finds me a nuisance after all..ah well anyway thats not all..prelims preparations are kinda shaky..hope i can do well in prelims..prelims prelims prelims..man it should be taboo..it causes stress and makes ppl breakdown. During this period of time, i can see how many of my classmates crying and falling sick...my friends are falling sick too...man this sucks...prelim faster get lost..

I cant even celebrate the Zas bdae today coz of stupid prelims! DAMN! Ok nvm..we plan to hold a leos celebration on teachers day..yup. Seems that zakir's and zamir's classmates went over to their place today...reminds me of the time when we went over to their house during TK days to surprise them on their bdae...think it was during sec 3? Yeah..hahaha wonderful TK days...gonna go back to TK on teachers day and reunite with the other GD members and meet the rest of my friends...cant wait :D

Man my bdae is coming soon! I dun wanna get stripped and thrown into the pool!!! Argghhhh..hahahaha..for all u know..ppl wont even remember about it coz of PRELIMS once again...damn..hahaha cyaZ

Yawn

2006-07-29T01:30:00.000-07:00

Dun have much time to blog so i shall just summarise.

[22nd July saturday]
Well today is the last day i saw anthony and ryan..treated them to pastamania lunch at parkway..then we cracked loads of jokes..certain racist jokes..and we talked about australia and ichun..lol..we went over to anthony's place to play tennis..lucky it didnt rain...we did pull ups..read POT comics..showed ryan sick POT moves...then ryan left and we bid farewell...i stayed on for a while to watch more POT and to kill time before meeting up with priya..bid farewell to anthony at aljunied MRT..his family going to have dinner at suntec. Met up with priya and nithya and we ate at the macs nearby....chatted quite a bit and laughed quite a bit...long time never catch up on stuff...talked about keira knightley and pirates. Went up to her house for a while to see her lousy com..haha seriously go get a new one...read blogs and realised that her relative lives near my uncle's place in serangoon north ave 4...so funny...her block is 534 which is near my uncle's which is 536..lol..went home...missing anthony and ryan...but expecting them to come back this dec after As.

[23rd July Sunday]
Scrabble comp. Hard opponents..only won 3 out of 7 matches...ah well a new experience. Made friends with this bunch of AC barker guys...long live AC! The best is yet to be...and i played with a small kid called vegas who was so mature..matured for his age...so it was danver vs vegas..haha..i got a cert of participation!

[24th July Monday]
Cell group was a nice experience..even though i didnt understand the christian stuff...haha but still it was enriching learning about what ppl do during cell group..they share problems..sing songs..comfort each other and refer to the bible..gave hazel lindt dark choc to cheer her up.

Lazy to update for the rest of the days..nth much but study study study. Speaking of which..i am off to do that now...cyaZ

[Arrival of anthony and ryan][RAWR]

2006-07-21T03:39:00.000-07:00

So anthony and ryan came over to the west on wednesday to visit me for tennis and just slacking. But then i realised that i have 3 choices but i really wanted to attend to all of them..first is spending quality time with anthony and ryan. Second is some intraschool chess competition. Third is the UK talk on medicine. So yeah i am in a dilemma..so around 2.15 eric came up with a good idea..i can just go to LT6 and collect any handouts and ask questions first before the actual time..and it worked! So i got some pamphlets and i asked loads of questions...yup and i met ryan and anthony in ACJC! Gave them a short tour of AC canteen which sells crap food btw..left for my house..coz apparently the chess comp was cancelled due to lack of participants..haha..so everything worked out fine after all.

Tennis was fun. Sky was overcast but we played anyway..i developed a new serve! I shall call it..hm dunno what to call it yet..so lets just call it the danver serve for the time being..haha its just an underhand serve with an added sick spin to it..so when it bounces off the ground..it bounces in a weird direction and catching the opponent off guard..hahaha not as fantastic as the moves in POT but still good in real life :D. And i am getting better at top spin. I have mastered backhand spin and drop shot! YAY. ok then it rained..and we went up to my house to watch hard gay..yoyo masters..prince of tennis..and loads more funny videos.

Fun time with my aussie friends. Last time i am meeting them is tmr..saturday..kinda sad but i will see them after my As again..but till then..sayonara.

On a lighter note, Eric and i realised that it is quite funny to turn songs into screamos. Like old macdonalds and the graduation song..all these inappropiate songs..think we screwed the songs up so much and we laughed so hysterically that ppl would think we are insane..haha that is the effect of too much stress..laughing at anything under the sun..funny or unfunny. LOL.RAWR.

[Pirates of the Carribean][Chinatown][Tennis with anthony]

2006-07-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

[14th July 2006 Friday]
SUUUUPPPPERRR long day today. Anticipated that my day should be from 6am to 10pm but ended up as 6am to 12am...aint it nice? But it was a spectacular day..absolutely spectacular after such a long while. Started off with a long day in school..seems that there is some donation drive in school so most of us were donating blood..i cant coz i have some blood disorder thing and no one wants my blood...ok anyway ended up that math and econs lessons only had 6 students...lol..some came back coz they realised that they cannot donate blood...some came back with bandaids wrapped around their arms...tovya was one of the donors and the teachers were like teasing her so weak already still want to donate blood...haha but i admire her strong character...even though she slept throughout the rest of the lessons...during pe..she felt kinda sick..and she cried..and i was at a lost of what to do...coz i wasnt really close to her so i couldnt do anything much to help...so rachel and victoria were consoling her while jason and i went for pe..CO ppl went up too..seems that tovya is supposed to watch pirates with them but dun think it would go on? Dunno. Ppl did pe even though they donated blood...really high stamina man...i scored 3 goals! Hat trick mama...and i played in school uniform coz i wasnt really planning to play soccer coz i wanted to conserve energy for the night movie but i just couldnt resist...met up with victoria after pe and i was just glad that tovya has calmed down a bit but it seemed that she was feeling the pressure of the arrival of prelims...

Evening came. Went home to bathe change and get all pumped up for PIRATES ! Met up with mathan and eric and we went to orchard mrt..anthony was already there but too bad..haha..nive nallu priya and sasi were at KFC and we chatted and laughed like old times...ate KFC and caught up on old times..and stuff about being AC..haha inside joke. I was getting worried coz i called ichun and she was at city hall interchange at 7.15..lol but can still make it coz its 7.45..but she thought the movie was at 7pm..haha thx mathan for thinking of all this things that can crop up..u are the better organiser after all. Met her downstairs coz she didnt know where lido was..apparently the first time..she was in TJC uniform and carrying loads of stuff given by her juniors ( one of them is a pair of speakers !! Must be from her secret admirer ) introduced her to everyone and eric was like whoa! Hahaha sorry eric...finally everyone was present and we were really excited but turned out that the digital movie was laggy and it hung loads of times! And i kept teasing ichun that she was the jinx coz it was her first time there...then when i came back from the washroom..the movie was alright again! Legendary healer! Muahahaha but the movie was still suck coz the lips and sound dun sync...so we can hear gunshot and cannonshot but it lags by 3 seconds...so it was stupid..some AC dude bet another AC dude to shout " FUCK I BOUGHT THE TICKET FOR THE WRONG MOVIE " for 5 bucks and he did! AC SPIRIT MAN!

People started to leave..priya and sasi went down to get refunds for us..thx guys..mathan and eric were poking fun at me about keira knightley..ichun watching intently..reading chinese subtitles..haha..nallu kept repeating " press control alternate delete!@!@! " LOL But the movie was alright again in the middle part but lagged again and hung towards the end..at the climax...but overall movie was WHOA! KEIRA KNIGHTLEY! AND JOHNNY DEPP was good too..brought life to the movie. SUPER LONG movie. Thought it wasnt going to end at all but there is a continuation. Lucky. Everyone was happy due to all the commotion in Lido 1...really a fun ride worth remembering. Graphics and the plots are excellent. Trailers of Spiderman 3 were whoa too. Cant wait for next year man...spiderman 3..harry potter and pirates 3 !!!!

Went home real late. Priya nallu mathan in one taxi to the east. Me sasi and nive in one taxi to the west. Eric ichun and anthony taking bus. Reached home at 12am. FUN DAY.

[15th July 2006 Saturday]
Chinatown CIP. 10.45 at Tea Chapter at Neil road. Starting off the day was the tea master teaching us everything about tea making and tea appreciation. Barker boys were everywhere and there were the other group leaders. Groups A-E just that D which is my group doesnt have anyone else except my group! And i was like..boonkiang where is my group? And he was like they should be coming..just a bit late...so i waited and a bunch of girls arrived and they were my group. Met my co leader Carol from J1..suspected during the training that she was my partner just that i couldnt really hear the name properly...and she is totally different from the loner image she gave me during the training...she is a super fun friendly and caring person. And my group was really cool too..loads of girls from all girls school..and a third leader came! Latifah and i was like how come my group has 3 leaders...but doesnt matter..the more the merrier.

Teached my group about tea appreciation the ching chong chang way. Gossipped about teachers and events in AC...got to know the ppl in my group. Got to know the team leaders too. Went to maxwell market to chow down. Got to know latifah and carol much more. Carol is from science..malaysian scholar..CFer..chinese pro. Latifah is from arts..drama and MCS..super friendly too..a nice person to SUAN..hahaha get to that later.

After lunch..on to chinese heritage centre were my group could go in except for team leaders..so we got to know each other more..its like being ogls...on to next stop which is Yong en care centre to spin tops..play chaptek..caligraphy.. Then we went back to maxwell for sweet hum chim pang...super fatty! I was eating from my hand like a dog...oh latifah carol and i were like suanning each other throughout the whole journey about me being spoilt, they being short, me being mean, their actions..haha about everything...full of sarcasm..started by yours truly. Went to a pastry shop to learn about wife's biscuits...on to indian temple to learn more about indian culture. Back to yong en when everyone was tired and quite sian..went to 7-11..then collected bread at fairfield methodist church..distributed bread at a HDB flat...then attended a party to interact with my group and other ppl more...chatted with joanna for a bit..

Whole thing ended around 6 finally! Gosh. But it was a super fun experience..got to make new friends too. Even though i was the team leader..i wasnt leading them to the correct places coz i always get lost..and carol and latifah have to do the navigating...haha leaving all the work to the girls...so fun. :D

[16th July 2006 Sunday]
Gosh i feel very guilty coz i havent studied. Met up with anthony at 12.30 to eat at singapore post before going to ichun's place. Did math in macs before meeting him coz a certain someone was late..LOL. Talked a lot about POT! The POT craze is back! Ok anyway ichun's place to play tennis. She was too lazy to play with us so she watched us from upstairs in her bedroom i think...and she came down after a while to bring us ribena..haha so considerate of her..anthony was collecting the balls he hit over the fence while i was laughing..lol so bad. Ichun was reading FMA while we carried on playing till 4 plus. Went up where ichun and anthony were reading more FMA comics while i was doing my hw like a nerd coz i dun read FMA...but nvm we chatted a while after that..and ichun followed us all the way to parkway and she took a bus home..she didnt want to eat dinner with us coz her mom has no keys...LOL but nvm some other time i guess. :D

Went to MPH with anthony to wait for his parents to arrive..he ordered a cup of ice coffee and we shared it...kinda gay but what the heck..played with handphones and motorola razr isnt that bad after all! Maybe i would buy it...steamboat with anthony's family! Anthony's dad is super funny..so we ate steamboat and i was reminded of the time during september last year coz it was the same thing..just that it was the last time i saw anthony before he left for aussie again..but this year its diff! I get to see him again after today..:D Steamboat was awesome as always..and anthony's parents were kind enough to treat me. THX a bunch. Anthony followed me to go flower hunting and i bought 2 sunflowers for lidan and tovya for individual reasons. Lidan for belated bdae gift and Tovya for cheering her up. BUT it was super pain! 10 bucks! But quite worth it coz i got free dinner and free movie :D and free drink. Went home.

Man awesome week it has been. More event coming up man..July is a super busy month and it gets worse...gonna push on!!!! Hope they will be happy upon receiving the flowers tmr...till then..niteZ

Strippings and SYF

2006-07-07T06:18:00.000-07:00

Well Jason was stripped on the first day of school. Super fun coz he was stripped off his top in mid air..the guys were like holding him in mid air while mathan was unbuttoning the shirt..haha and the girls were taking videos of the whole process.

Today, Marvin was stripped..but we lacked manpower..but it was more fun. Arvin Edwin Krishmen Jueluo Nathaniel and myself were trying to pin him down but he was putting up a fierce struggle..then it seemed that we were making a lot of noise and the 2SD4 ppl joined us! Mathan and Eric joined in the stripping! Best part was Mr lim See Poi joined in the fun too !! He pulled out his magic marker and handed it to us..and we drew a smiley face and circles round his nipples...haha damn fun! And just when we thought the excitement was over..Mr lim see poi open the door and screamed like he was still in the party! Hahaha he is a damn fun teacher.

Ok enough stripping. SYF was awesome. Met in ACJC on the 1st July 3pm. Took attendence and waited for the bus to arrive. Mathan Eric Edwina Nive Tovya and i were there. The SA1 ppl were there too. The bus journey was super long and i cant imagine mathan coming all the way from the east only to go back to the east. Think the bus journey was about half an hour? Listened to music and slept quite a bit...so i bumped my head when the bus reached the destination coz i was still half asleep..haha then we walked a lot under the hot sun to reach the national stadium..and i sweated the least! Less than edwina! Met loads of other school kids there. Super crowded with police officers everywhere.

SYF rawked..when i entered the stadium, it was like coming forth to a world cup arena..where the spectators were roaring with excitement and dressed in matching clothings..supporting their old schools. Sat with ACJC..and during the beginning nive mathan and myself were like trying to make conversation with nallu over the phone which was rather frustrating...so we gave up but out of nowhere..nallu appeared from the back and he showed us where TK was sitting.

Dun ever buy drinks in National Stadium. Each cup of not cold pepsi costs 2 bucks and there isnt mineral water...TK band was AWESOME! Best display band as usual. The performance was fantastic. Drum major made one drop but everything else was great. Deyi's drum major was great too. Bowen with female drum major as usual..Deyi copied us !! But they are still good la. Other Youth day events were nice too..slinkies and bikes and loud speakers! We thought of stealing them..haha. TK was the best display band again..too bad no clean sweep...we sang the TK anthem when we heard some TK minahs singing the song...haha they are quite pretty btw. I was dying of thirst but i had to find jessie to pass her the ACJC bears which are meant for paula steph and herself..took some pics and went to oasis to eat by myself coz the rest wanted KFC. I was so happy with my cold water and hot udon while watching world cup and admiring the night scenery at some jap restaurant...for 10 bucks :D.

I didnt get to meet paula...miss her still. Anthony is back from australia! Chinatown CIP tmr...and tennis and anime and dinner with anthony tmr! Cant wait. Cya ppl.

Continuation of 4th week and first week of school

2006-06-28T03:14:00.000-07:00

[21st june]
Dental checkup. 7 cavities! OMG but very small ones..but i dun wanna talk about it..quite painful coz they was drilling and whooping cost of 300 bucks. Study and gym.

[22nd - 23rd june]
Industrial attachment at my uncle's clinic. I was pretty nervous coz i dunno his staff at first..but then when i first reached there..my uncle was already tending to a patient and i was asked to enter the examination room to observe ultrasound scans. It was pretty cool coz i learnt so much more about gynaecology and ultrasound scans. Latest machines and contraceptive methods. His staff were very friendly too. Most pregnant women went there for checkups but there are some with problems too..not gonna elaborate on that though...being a doctor is tough..realised that my uncle and his staff do not eat lunch and they are used to it..workaholics...gosh being doctors..makes me wonder whether i should be a doctor or teacher but i guess i shouldnt think about that now..i should just focus on working hard and achieving fantastic grades for the As. But my uncle did say medicine would be a better choice..but the final choice is still up to me. If i do get a scholarship..i most probably would go UK to study medicine..see how i guess.

[24th june]
Study and gym. Had dinner with my dad at anchorage. Went to queensway to buy training goves finally..15 bucks...but they are good..and they look cool too..tried them out and they are great.

[25th june]
29th Queenstown CC chess competition. Made new friends from ACSi. Augustine Tang and Gabriel. Tough competition coz it was a mix of age groups and gender...and those brainy kids who are like under 10 or 12 have participated in chess camps before..omg i cant believe there is such thing as chess camps...wonder what they do there...talk about chess? Ok anyway i saw this family whose bro and sis are competing..both under 10 i think...he was my first competitor..well lets just say that his has done quite a lot of preparations..his parents gave him chicken essence..got massage..eye exercise..and the dad took out a video cam to take a video of him playing chess...it was quite annoying coz he asked for a friendly match..so i purposely let him win to get him overconfident...and it workeD! Coz when we played the real match...i thrashed him...second opponent was a quiet guy..quite good but beaten him...third one was a pro adult! Loss. 4th one was a kid but i made a careless mistake. 5th and 6th were both girls...may be girls but i didnt show any mercy..so won both...last was with Gabriel! So we decided on a draw and split the cash money...hahahaha it was awesome overall. CCA records yeah!

[26th June]
OMG SCHOOL IS HERE! First day of school when everyone was laughing at each other's hairstyle and new bags and eric bought this super light blue adidas bag that apparently makes him look cute according to the girls in his class...and i cut my hair really really short...makes me look like an ex con. Everyone was present in my class...amazing. Usually its quite a number who is absent. Saw her too...she looks better than before..shall elaborate later. Anyway we were given free apples for no good reason..maybe the school is too rich or the school cannot find of a better way to dispose their rotten apples from fuji...hahaha..

I enjoyed my first chapel for real this time! Coz the singer was awesome..2SD4 bio teacher...she rawked the song man.. really appreciated the songs for once...the thanking as usual..and the speech made by one of the members of staff was very inspiring as it talked about ppl thinking about they being nobodys and how they can overcome this feeling..very applicable in my life.

Lessons were as usual. I love my new math S teacher..he rawkz even though i dunno his name...very smart and funny..haha he is as good as mrs yeo. Cant believe probabilty and discrete random variables can be that tough.

[27th June]
Second day of school..Super long day!! Almost died coz i had 8 periods in a row without any break in between...crazy..i received 9 stackes of bio prelims today...nice huh..Nth much..just boring lessons.

[28th June]
Well quite eventful. Ms michelle tang is a good genetics teacher but seems that ppl gave her feedback saying that she speaks too fast during plant lecture...but i guess she knows that coz she taught me during my bio S days. Oh and she got confused between Pfr and Pr phytochromes..and said 'basically' at least 15 times. But i respect her as a teacher coz she does research and reads up on bio journals..many teachers dun do that...she keeps herself updated and she is really good in bio..she deserves repect for that.

Econs wasnt so demoralising today. Coz i answered my essay correctly. PC talk was boring. Cant wait for SYF coz had SYF briefing today..and its CIP! And we are dropped off at tanjong rhu...had lunch and when i was buying chicken rice..i wanted to ask eric whether he going for chess but i believe my exact words were' eric u going for brian?' Then eric got all hysterical and started laughing like crazy..i couldnt believe what i said and i was laughing too...and we told everyone at the table and we laughed like crazy..then eric said i thought of brian too much and i was like EEEE!!! Hahaha crazy.

Simultaneous chess is tough. Daidee was fun. I saw Joel and the juggler guy showcasing their yoyo tricks! Superb! Makes me wanna play the yoyo again..really cool.

Yup finally caught up with my updates.

Just wanna say that i am not as obsessed as i was before...i just have to continuously psycho myself and put myself down in order to get my mind off her...but it seems that it is hard to steer away from reality...i am trying to erase my mind off her and just wanna remain as friends..but my stupid hormones are thwarting my plans...can sense that she is still tired and really needs help but she has a strong will...well all i can do is continue to offer my help..whether she wants it or not...and force myself to think of her as a friend.

Danver u have no chance..come on face up to reality..prelims and As are coming..whats there to think about her..you are not worthy...it would be an insult to her..what would her friends think...i just want her to be happy..whoever she is with. Haha lame..make myself sound noble only...stupid..

SYF is coming..TK shall prevail and she shall bask in eternal glory. Long live TK Band and the TK spirit!

I really miss paula. Wonder how she is doing now..wonder whether i would meet her during SYF...

Continuation of 3rd week and 4th week

2006-06-22T02:36:00.000-07:00

[13th June]
2SD5 Class party. Studied and gym in the afternoon. Supposedly to be at tovya's place but seems that they changed the venue...so went over to michelle's house but on the way i realised that nanyang girls is really huge! As in huge with a capital H...and i thought ACSi was huge...man..ok anyway dad dropped me off at michelle's place and so happened that krishmen was at the door too. Wide spread of food..ranging from ribs to shepherd's pie to salad...very high class for a class party..totally different from the class parties i use to have during TK days...this is what ppl get from rich families...Half the class was there. Michelle's place is a posh place..black marble floor which makes the place look really classy...Dinner was scrumptious and everyone had a great time joking and chatting and eating. Watched world cup after dinner.. s.korea vs togo..we only watched the first half and togo was leading 1-0..ate some rich ice cream and the whole outing costed only 6 bucks...the girls were having girl to girl chat at the swings outside whereas the guys are commenting on soccer. Played with sparklers at the end of the day and took group photos. End of story.

[14th June]
Boring! Study and gym! Gym was especially intensive coz i have been consuming too much fat rich fast food and i need to shed the kilos before school reopens...

[15 June]
Well i am supposed to study and gym till nite but then eric wanted to treat me to MUSE 2...so y not..haha 7.30pm at Victoria concert hall..bad memories of drinking alcohol and other stuff...hahaha but nvm all is cool. The concert schedule is rather interesting..the songs played were great too..i would say its better than MUSE 1...ACS band and recruit band played too..then the trombone saxo woodstring and percussion ensemble played pieces of music which were cool. Zel played a solo on the saxophone..real awesome and i bet someone really really enjoyed it..haha but there was this irritating chinese guy taking digital photos with sound and flash! and he even asked eric and myself what school was playing..we were like wtf...wah thats fierce. Went to eat at glutton's park after the performance and reminisce about the past...just that i saw that irish ale is freaking 8 bucks! and beer was 1-2 bucks more than normal beers elsewhere...so we didnt buy...i bought oyster omelette which was delicious...the satay eric bought was good though..just not worth it...6 bucks for 10 sticks and some rice cakes....haha went home..and gave eric a lift again! Yayness.

[16th June - 18th June]
Think i studied the whole day plus gym...cant seem to recollect anything special on these days..damn my memory is failinG! Ahhhhhhh panic!

[19th June]
Math consultation! It was awesome to see ms pang again after such a long time..haha my favourite sarcastic math teacher...she is actually very friendly and funny...no wonder she is a school councillor too..I met Grace coz she also attended the math consultation. Before that i found a lizard stuck behind some tablet on the wall of LT3 and Grace got interested in it and started poking it with her ruler..haha it was damn cute...irritating the lizard..then i was like scaring Grace that the lizard would fall and jump on her...hahaha..back to math. Mrs Yeo was there too! And luckily i am not stupid coz i was stumped by the difficulty of ACJC prelim 2005 and Mrs Yeo ( My math S teacher ) admitted that it was a hard paper and not many ppl can score well in it. So i am not stupid! And she really guided me along in solving the questions...thx ms pang and mrs yeo for all your help. It was weird wearing the school uniform again..dang.

[20th June]
NALLU BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS! THE OFFICIAL LAST FUN TK GATHERING DURING THE JUNE HOLS AND I THINK IT WAS THE BEST!!!! Well supposed to meet brian and dehong at tampines mrt at 2pm BUT it was raining in the east and seems that both brian and dehong experienced traffic jams when they took their buses...see how efficient public transport and the road system are...cars rawk. So i met them at paya lebar mrt and talked about loads of stuff in the mrt...esp about the surprise attack on nallu. Reached tampines at 2.30 and we were rather frantic coz we havent really thought of a gift and it was almost time to meet the rest at 3...so we were searching high and low for the perfect gift...met zakir and he brought us to century square...and we finally bought a PCD and mariah carey CD 20 bucks...we bought those coz they are brown girls and nallu may drool at them...and their songs are rather nice..thats the munjen's gift for nallu.

Met Mathan Dehong Priya and Nallu at tampines int. We saw nithya but she was hanging out with her friend...so she didnt tag along...went to nallu's place and jacked each other on the bus as usual..haha miss the suanning. Reached his house and met his dad for the first time..real friendly dad. His family was very welcoming too. We met aravinth too. So the 9 of us squeezed into nallu's room and did nth! Yes there was nth to do..started off with poker cards but it got boring...so nallu suggested monopoly and we were on the verge of killing him.. then we decided to play truth or dare..but i think it was more of dirty dare or dare..coz it was mostly dares and everything was sex related...nallu had to a deco maniche gay dance...mathan had to do a lap dance..zakir and dehong had to kiss me and nallu..on the hand..haha brian deepan and aravinth had to spill the beans on certain truths...i had to do 20 sexy girl push ups...and priya had to put on nallu's pants for me...but all these are all in the name of fun...and indeed it was hilarious...plus got most of nallu on candid camera.

Ate canadian pizza! Nallu's treat. We sang happy bdae for him and he opened the present...the first one is a shirt from mathan! the second one is a shirt from deepan! the third one is a shirt from aravinth! and the last one is the CDs! The only non shirt gift! Hahaha..pizza was great. then mathan had to go...so i encourage everyone to go downstairs and take a group photo...hmmmm and mission impossible became possible..poured prickly heat into cups for everyone...and nallu was still happily smiling away...totally oblivious to whats going on..priya was taking the video and we poured the powder on him...and he was stunned..haha and he was very grateful to have friends like us...and he started hugging me...dammit y i kena...twice!

So we went up and played karem..the munjens slacked...i studied...yes studied. Priya played his synthesizer...brian played com...we watched madagascar and the rest went home..i stayed on coz my dad is picking me up..so i had a scabble showdown with nallu but it was interrupted coz my dad came earlier than expected...went home...and awesome day.

Update more later.

Continuation of 2nd week and 3rd week

2006-06-17T02:49:00.001-07:00

Hm sorry guys..yesterday i was too busy fixing up my new blogskin. Nice rite nice rite nice rite. Potrays the kind of image that i like. Ok continuing the update but before reading..be warned that i am gonna type about 10 plus days worth of events..yes i have super memory..haha

[8th June]
Coz i realised that mavis has the xmen 2 DVD that i have been frantically searching for...i headed to the east around noon to collect the DVD..but i didnt wanna travel all the way to the east to collect that..so i met up with priya to study..bought lunch at parkway..we ate the hokkien mee at vjc canteen and it was rather dry...vj was really quiet with some ppl studying in the canteen when there are aircon classrooms available...the outside atmosphere isnt that conducive for studying due to foreign workers spraying water...haha. Studied math. Met sasi nithya sara and keshaf ( sorry about the spelling ) Nithya's friends are nice..and the first kid i ever liked was keshaf...coz he was mature for his age. Sara and Keshaf went home so leaving priya nithya and myself. Did more math. Had dinner at the east coast macs. Awesome time spent even though we didnt really study much..but i feel that everytime i have a group study..i would end up catching up with the people more than i study...but its still cool..makes me feel not so guilty about having fun..haha...went home.

[9th June]
First day of world cup! Nithya's bdae! I feel kinda bad coz i didnt really buy a gift for her..so i bought her a choc sundae yest...haha..Study and Gym today. Watched the germany vs costa rica match..first time i actually watch the world cup.

[10th June]
Today is supposed to be an exciting day BUT it turned out to be a screwed up outing. Supposed to be a large group watching the long awaited Xmen3 but in the end only zj and i watched it. Nallu claimed that he landed his friend into the hospital coz he broke his nose...this is true btw...so nive and nallu didnt turn up. Mathan came but he watched the movie already and wanted to buy a book for his bro. The twins didnt turn up. Priya couldnt go coz she got tuition...so nithya cannot go and i cannot treat her either...soooooooooooo left me and zj..yes according to mathan it was kinda gay..ah but what the heck..we can have special munjen interaction...one on one..no foul play occurred dun worry...I am an official heterosexual who likes girls and not guys.

Anyway Xmen 3 wasnt that fantastic. The storyline sucks. Kinda rushed. Beast looked awfully beastly and blue. Nightcrawler is gone?! No gambit. Jean grey went insane and killed her bf cyclops. She also 'killed' professor X. Professor X transferred his soul to another body. Magneto supposedly loses his powers but he still has a little left. Mistique lost her powers even though she has a va-va-voom body in her human body. Rogue gave up her powers for Icy boy. Halle berry rawkz as usual. But the best i feel was pyro igniting the cars magneto flung..like meteors and the effects were wow. Wolverine rawked too.

So the movie was kinda upsetting. On to pool in lucky plaza! Long time no play! I can still do my backhand move man...quite an achievement. One on one with zj proved to be a challenge coz i am worse than him and my skills are rusty. Even my pivot sucks...gotta change it soon...yeah but it was awesome playing pool again even though it was with one other guy only...wished the others could have joined in.

Walked around while making prank calls to nallu..coz he was irritating us. Saying hello at least 20 times and asking where i am at least 15 times. Pro rite...desperadoes...anyway so we wasted his talktime and u can see his phone bill increasing coz zj has free incoming and we just left the phone on while playing hokkien songs. We were searching for brian's gift. But we cant think of anything! We finally thought of giving him a wallet. Went to ripcurl and bought a nice ripcurl wallet. Price is confidential though...muahahaha.

Shopped around myself when zj went home. Bought pants! Met up with priya nithya and mathan for prata at ubi. Maha bodhi was hosting some buddhist event. It was awesome to be in ubi again even though most of the shops are closed. Priya was the first one there and i thought i was late...We ate prata and chatted about pirates of the carribean..xmen...world cup..brian's gift...nonsense...lame jokes..and i cant believe netherlands and holland are the same place! I was enlightened! See how stupid i am and i got an A for geog. Unbelieveable. Went home feeling stupid..haha.

[11th June]
Study and Gym! Been eating too much fast food! And i am eating some more! More fats man!

[12th June]
Well i can say today isnt what i expected but it was still awesome. Brian's long awaited bdae celebrations! Venue: Brian's place. Well before that i went to parkway to buy stuff and flour. Mathan Dehong Zj Linhao Zamir Zakir Kenneth Andreas and myself were there. Anan was in india and nallu wants to study...so anyway...most of the day we were cracking jokes..laughing at linhao...playing cards and magic and worms...oh and soccer at brian's garden. Ate noodles with zj and dehong at Day and Night.

Fun part coming. Meet jingyang at his place to play soccer at the nearby field...well lets just say that linhao is as aggressive as ever...i score 2 goals !!! So close to hat trick...but nvm..i scored against linhao..so its still good. Andreas was so funny as a goalkeeper...haha and we had fun even though linhao was tackling...the field was freaking wet!

Met mathan at KFC for more fast food! Wooohooo fast food mania! FATS! Anyway brian treated us 5 superman meals...each worth 10 bucks...haha but it was good...free refill...mmmm..We cracked more jokes..almost sang happy bdae but decided not to..linhao was molesting zj..

On the way back to brian's place...we decided to take a group photo *innocent smile*. Zj was the camera man and i took out the bag of flour. Remember i bought 2 bags...so i was standing behind brian. 3...2..1.. and stupid brian sprayed deoderant into my mouth...last year it was perfume during my bdae...now deoderant..but i still poured the flour all over him...and everyone was cheering...and i scooped the flour and threw some more at him...hahahaha and he looked like a ghost! And he thought it was all over...but we continued walking and zamir pulled out the second one and poured all over him!!! Hahaha damn funny...brian ageing too fast...then we played at the playground when i was encouraged to do a striptease for brian..so i got on top of some see saw thing...and ppl started to strip me but no strength la..in the end nth came off...even though linhao was quite enthu...haha nvm.

Overall good day. Brian got 3 new wallets! But ours the best. He got a billabong pencil case from the twins too. Brian better help me buy heineken soon.

[13th June]
CLASS PARTY BUT I WILL UPDATE NEXT TIME. Tired. hahaha my memory rawkz.

Continuation of 2nd week and 3rd week

2006-06-17T02:49:00.000-07:00

2nd week

2006-06-10T09:04:00.000-07:00

Ok this is an update on the second week of holidays. Super long digest coming up.

[4th June]
Judgment day has finally arrived. I was so reluctant to go through the day considering the fact that i need to do sth which requires a lot of courage..Today was the CO concert but it starts at 5.30. Well was supposed to meet eric at Tiong Bahru plaza around 2 but couldnt find him when i arrived at the place..so i went inside and i saw michelle chong and patricia mok! Michelle chong was hot.period..haha too bad jeanette aw or joanne peh werent there...met eric and bryan fang. Havent seen him for a long time and we caught up with stuff and suanning eric at grillers...eric the food at grillers suck...really...stop going there...then we went to the arcade..comic connection..and florist. And we realised there is a product called I squeeze..haha it sounded so wrong...

Bryan left after a while so leaving eric and myself. The funny part came when i ordered a guiness stout at a coffee shop. Well at least i learnt one thing from today..never drink alcohol before attending a concert just to drown my sorrows or make me less aware of my fears...i gulped down the can of alcohol and i turned freaking red..everyone was staring at me and i felt super hot...and kinda giddy too..and eric thought i was drunk so we went to the toilet at raffles place to sponge myself...haha but in the end it was eric who was drunk after drinking teh ping coz he sent an sms meant for edwina to me..cannot stand still in the mrt..and kinda blur..hahaha super funny.

CO concert was spectacular..a whole new experience coz i have been to band and choir. Refreshing to hear music from my origins...the roots of the chinese arts..enchanting and soothing to the ears..i love the guzheng and erhu...totally represents the chinese culture...surprisingly there were snare drums for CO! Hahaha but its like starting a new trend which is kinda cool. There was a cello duet performed by elgin and tovya which was fantastic btw..and eric said it was the first time he see tovya move so much...haha stupid eric...got soloists too and they were awesome. Overall the concert was great and money well spent. During the interval..i mustered up my courage to present her with a sunflower even though there were other ppl giving her better looking flowers..haha but at least i managed to praise her for her performance and not become some nervous wreck..haha but it was petrifying..well at least she was happy that the concert was a success...and i am satisfied at just that.

Good day. And i cant believe my alcohol tolerance is that bad! Must train!

[5th June]
Feeling kinda demoralised today coz of yesterday's incident...felt that i was just some insignificant person trying to achieve the top when i know i didnt stand a chance after all. But i manage to psycho myself out of this depression temporarily coz today is the start of chinese chess competition! Raffles cup at RJC. RJC is freaking ka ni na big la...omg..but not like i care...RJ girls are not bad too but AC girls better..hahaha anyway..won 2 lose 1 today..and i met wingtai!! Long time no see..so i talked to him quite a lot..and played loads of chess...good day.
At night, realise that brian cannot make it for the rest of the comp due to some personal matters...anyway we signed up for the comp for cca records...so dun feel too bad k.

[6th June]
Went back to RJC to tell the guys that they can go home after the first match. Stayed on till after the second match. Won 1 and Draw 1. Ate lunch at RJ and the food sucks and its damn ex...AC food better..haha..went home with wingtai and joel.

Went back to TK coz i was early for my badminton meeting with badminton khakis. Met my juniors whom i used to hang out with...realised they had extra lessons for DNT coz they are sec 4...gambatte guys...and i saw esme too! She had extra lessons and i was laughing at her...haha so bad of me but heck...we chatted a lot while waiting for her mom to pick her up.

Studied a bit in Geylang Serai CC. Played badminton when the gang came. Well my badminton aint too bad...long time never play since AC closed for school hols...haha...it was awesome to see ben kevin and mavis after such a long time...always playing badminton during hols..too bad jamie cannot make it...but definitely will play again with her next time before hols end. Went to parkway after badminton to shop around..and rich kevin enters every shop and buys sth from it...bloody rich indo..hahaha...got credit card already..ben also bought quite a few stuff till he is broke..lol..only mavis and i didnt buy anything...but trying on clothes can be fun..esp with friends...had dinner at parkway foodcourt. Banmian was filling. Swenson's earthquake was the desert..it was so not worth it coz the scoops of ice cream were so small and melting quite fast...haha but it was quite nice. Took pictures and just chatted like the good old days...went home.

[7th June]
STUDY AND GYM! NTH ELSE

Update the rest later..quite tired now...but before i go...Nive helped me find out sth...stuff about her even though i know its a wrong thing to do..its a betrayal of trust...but she FREAKING KNOWS !!!! SHE KNOWS SHE KNOWS SHE KNOWS!!!! I AM SO BLOOOOOODY DEAD... HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA FACE HER AND TALK TO HER IN THE FUTURE.... DAMN IT!!! ITS GONNA BE SO AWKWARD!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ERIC I GONNA HUNT U DOWN FOR MAKING THINGS SO OBVIOUS !

Damn. God save me.

First week of holidays

2006-06-03T05:53:00.000-07:00

[My immortal][Evanescence]

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

[Chorus]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's see how good my memory is..recapping a week's worth of events.

[27th May]
Went to AC gym with eric in the morning. Had a real work out and i can see the determination in eric too, even though we are working out for different purposes and different sources of motivation. After gym we wanted to eat at ACSi. Eric was my tour guide as he brought me around the huge campus which was freaking huge btw..bigger than ACJC which is kinda sucky..didnt get to see ms au though..sad..no food at ACSi !! Pay so much money but the food outlets are closed due to 5 day week system..decided to eat at ITE but also no food !!! In the end after much walking..we ended up at dover market to finally eat. And eric is bugging me about his love as usual..haha..but i dun mind it coz i know his pain..i'd rather help him get closer to his goal..but it seems that their relationship is worsening as the days go by...which is kinda sad..ah well. After that we went home. Studied the rest of the day.

[28th May]
Nth much even though its a sunday. Studied the whole day. Sorted out stuff that needed to be filed. Worked out at my house gym. Thats about it.

[29th May]
Econs lesson early in the morning. Kinda boring coz we had to do 2 essay outlines and go thru answers after that. 3 hours of suffering. Fun part came when i arrived at andreas' house to celebrate his 19th bdae..( i thought he was 18 oops ). Brian idiot go tell me to avoid choc cakes so i bought a fruit cake but in the end turned out that andreas is allergic to fruits...anyway it was fun lighting candles, blowing candles, singing and cutting cakes..and all of that was recorded which is quite comical btw. The twins, zj brian andreas and myself played asshole daidee..CS and we wanted to gangbang andreas but only me brian and zj were in for it. In the end the video make it seem as though andreas is going berserk and raping all of us...hahaha damn fun..he even attacked zamir who was the camera man...hahaha. Then we played with his dog for a while..and ate pizza. Then the day wasnt over for me when everyone needed to go.

Choir performance up next! Actually i wasnt supposed to go but xueming couldnt go and he gave me a free ticket. Thx xueming! Went to the performance with eric and i ALMOST got lost in the esplanade..haha my sense of direction is improving slowly. Anyway, met up with eric and sat down..and as usual again he was bugging me about her and i am bugging him about myself..haha realised that brinden was seated in front of me with his gay friend..oh well..victoria and stephen and the rest of the choir put up a great performance. They even got off stage to mix with the audience while singing some mermaid song which was very enchanting and alluring. However, being my ignorant self..i cant really appreciate some of the songs so i felt kinda bored at some point of time..haha sorry vic and stephen. After the whole performance, we saw eric's ahem but he didnt dare to talk to her...dunno what he doing la...once bitten twice shy i guess..i havent kena bitten but later i will elaborate. The whole thing ended quite late.

[30th May]
NS checkup! Got lost in CMPB area. Almost didnt check in at the entrance..later they shoot me for being an intruder..haha. I saw a fellow ACsian who happened to be the discus thrower i see in school all the time. Went to loads of stations for a thorough checkup. Dental, blood, Xray, ENTS, Eye, limbs. ECG, weight and height measurement, blood pressure, medical history analysis and examination of sth very private...haha didnt see any blue tag guys..lucky. But saw some ppl with tatoos and piercings...and some ppl who got kinda freaked when they had their blood drawn. The IQ test is the most boring one..had to take 1 hour to finish it..whole thing ended at 3 when i started at 10..haha oh well. Most of my energy was drained so i didnt do anything much after that.

[31st May]
More econs lessons. Boring all the way. Gym training resumed but i realised that i was still feeling kinda weak so i slacked quite a bit. ACJC won Golf for guys! Congrats mathan! Even though he said he didnt really perform his best..he is still the best golfer in the eyes of GD! Well done mathan!

[1st June]
Shit is 1st june already. Lazy go anyway so it was a day off for me. Simply slacked and studied and slacked and studied. Rushing my econs essays! Freak la i was like panicking coz i needed to finish 4 essays by 3rd june. Freaked out.

[2nd June]
Realised i had some more essays left incompleted so i didnt go to gym with eric in the morning.. Rushing thru essays. Fun part was at night when it was time for AC idol. Victoria was fantastic..she sang really well and her dress was kinda hot..haha no wonder the judges made some comments to cover up their true emotions..ahem ahem..mr lim see poi was there too..most of my class was there too to support the class. Loads of arts students and supporters from the other ACS schools. 8 finalists at first had to sing 2 songs each. Ethel Joshua Victoria Amaryash and Yuresh were the top 5. Everyone thought it was between Ethel and Joshua to win AC idol. I personally liked Amaryash coz he is the drama type who brings life to the comp. He is a damn good enthu punk rocker who sang matchbox 20 too..haha. Victoria was awesome too..the way she sang bridge over troubled waters and zombie..and voiceman by aguilera. I feel that victoria sang the best but she lacked supporters..thats y this kind of competition is unfair. So drumroll..results are revealed..everyone was shocked when ethel was 4th place with victoria. In the end, the youngest of the lot, yuresh from ACS barker won AC idol...everyone was shocked...haha but at least there is some justice in the world...

Went home thinking about how she took so little notice of my presence...damn...

[3rd June]
Woke up in the morning to receive a piece of shocking news. Seems that she likes someone after all...i knew i didnt stand a chance in the first place..i have no idea who the guy is...even though i really wanna know....gym training was even more intensive just to try and drive away my sorrow and depression..but to no avail. Handed up the econs assignment and met up with Sunita who came over to do her SAT.

I just dunno what to do anymore..I find it so hard to give up on her..even though i dont really know her well..i really wanna get the chance to know her better somehow....but that may be impossible now that she has someone in mind...not maybe..it is impossible..i should just admire her from far..i would still view her as my motivation to becoming stronger...to become a better man..but i will not expect anything in return...i simply have no idea what i am doing anymore...all i feel is emptiness and depression now..damn.

Tmr is gonna be a depressing day...wonder how am i gonna survive it...wonder whats gonna happen...This concludes the first week of the so called happy june holidays.

School holidays have arrived finally !!!

2006-05-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Finally school holidays have arrived !!! Its finally here! Omg i cant believe it..i am still in the stage where i still think there is school tmr...must be prelims and As stress. Ok anyway not only that..this is my 100th blog entry so its gonna be long and eventful. So grab a cup of coffee and read the whole post if you want to..haha.

Well victoria won meridian 4-2. According to mathan it was a good match despite the rain and whatnot. It was a good match between 2 talented soccer teams but it seemed that even though meridian was leading 1-0 in the first half..they got complacent and let in 3 goals in the last 5mins of the match..one of the players even punched the ball away to prevent victoria from scoring a goal...as a result it was a red card and penalty...how stupid. Whatever la..anyone can tell me that victoria is super talented and they trained real hard and deserve the win...luckily i didnt go there..otherwise i would be pissed off by the wet atmosphere and seeing mj lose would be too much...even though i get to see my friends. I admit meridian is kinda arrogant too..but victoria is over the limit. Come on la..you make it sound as though your whole word revolves around soccer...its bcoz arrogant ppl like you exist that make normal average ppl's lives so miserable. The worst part..you find joy in flaunting your victories in front of weaker ppl..how pathetic. There are also ppl who ride in other ppl's glories when all they did was cheer. There is nth to proud of...we are all fellow singaporeans and yet we are so divided. There is simply no justice in the world.

I feel sad for the meridian soccer players. Despite their arrogance, it is due to victorian's arrogance that triggers off such a chain reaction. That aside, all their efforts have been wasted when they cant beat victoria...even though they got second place. I pity the goalkeeper especially...ah well..harsh reality.

On a lighter note, today was a rather eventful day. Science lessons were as per normal. Supp lessons were super slack as always. We watched documentaries about lesbian marriages and raped paskistan women. Felt kinda sick after watching. Viewer discretion. Last math lesson of term 2 was super funny with the sarcastic ms pang still as sarcastic as ever and laughing to herself..haha but it was hilarious and we all love ms pang. PE was intense..played ultimate frisbee against a stronger team and we were like running back and forth..jumping and catching under the hot sun...after that i supported xueming when he was taking his napfa and he passed !!!! Congrats xueming !!! Everyone is proud of u! Haha..after that got gym training...and i saw evy, stephen and hanfei walking from the badminton hall and realised that evy and hanfei are going for the malay performance which i was supposed to go too. They wanted to go holland V to eat in the heavy rain at 7 when the performance starts at 8..crazy..so i stayed behind and ate instand noodles and when it started..they made it back on time! Miraculous. Seems those 2 are on good terms too...hahaha ok stop the teasing. Realised that nive was there too! And i made a new friend too. Chareli seet from 2SC2.

The performance was awesome. My malay teacher Dave Alexander was the main character! So proud of him. The story is about China during the revolution during Mao's time. Talking about a love affair between a married doctor and a mistress. Some scary scenes and super funny court drama. Statements made were...'men have needs' and 'discard the old to look for new ones'. Hahaha so true. But obviously not all guys are like that. Made fun of nive throughout the whole show about nallu and her eyecandy in AC...haha so funny..tag team with chareli to tease nive...then nallu told me not to pester her..someone angry already...hahaha.

End of school. Beginning of pure torture. Not happy holidays exactly. More like happy sufferings instead. All the best ppl..make good use of the one month. Peace out.

Mission Impossible

2006-05-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

Better version of a song in my previous post.

[Tonight]

Woke up with yawn, it's dawn and i'm still alive.
Turned on my radio to start a new day.
As goddamn DJs chattered, how to survive.
Amazing news got over on the airwave.

Tonight, love is rationed.
Tonight, across the nation.
Tonight, love infects worldwide.
Almost another day.

She's a shooting star, goodnight, goodnight...
She's a shooting star, goodbye...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nth much to blog about. Mission impossible outing was kinda impossible to start with. Only mathan kenneth eric and myself went. At least eric got to meet kenneth. Digital movies are better than regular movies..no more fuzzy lines. Bought hot dog huge popcorn and large pepsi. Maggie Q isnt that hot after all. No hot babes in the movie. Tom cruise was kinda cool but this comment doesnt suggest that i am gay. Action packed movie full of suspense and twists. Unexpected plot and i still cant figure out what the hell the rabbit's foot is...maybe some biohazard chemical bomb gadget thing. Vatican City rawkz. One funny scene where they had to distract the chinese guards on the building tops in order to enter the building to steal the rabbit's foot. Soooo they started shooting baseballs which kinda freaked those chinese guards out..and they started talking in chinese..hahaha.

Man..i am tired. Motivation is still there but i am just mentally and physically tired..Damn.

Sucky day

2006-05-10T05:58:00.000-07:00

NE dialogue was boring. Some public speaker from Ministry of Foreign affairs came over to talk to us. Cant believe ppl actually paid attention and were kinda enthusiastic when it comes to Question and Answer session...

Man i completely lost to him. I know its torture to keep on comparing myself with others..it really undermines the purpose of my existence...i will just continue to look down on myself and never find the faith that i really need to regain my self confidence. Praying to God wont work for me coz when i pray to Buddha, i will never expect anything in return..be it luck or blessings..sure it would be good to have them but i will never pray just for the sake of getting those. If Buddha decides to give them to me..then good for me. However, back to what happened today, it was kinda saddening to realise that it was utter defeat for me. Obviously clicking with him was much easier. Ah well it was never meant to be anyway. Not like i stood a chance in the first place. Trying my best to psycho myself to give up but i cant bear to..how weak and pathetic.

Chess was exciting. Training was intensive. Had gym training again today. Decided that everyday i am going to either go to gym or exercise. Wanna achieve a better body for myself and become a better man. Sounds stupid? But thats one of my goals.

Oh i suddenly remembered. Most of my classmates totally disregard Mdm Clare Teo's presence today. During chem lesson, ppl were answering phone calls and laughing and chatting without respecting the teacher at all. I found it rude but i just didnt have the courage to yell at the class for their outrageous behaviour...and i call myself a Leo...and the teacher completely gave up on us. I understand how she must feel everytime its time to teach 2SD5. Sure we are nice ppl but most of us simply cant differentiate the time for fun and the time to get serious. Honestly thats the difference between 2SD4 and 2SD5. If by chance this paragraph is viewed by my classmates..whatever they can get angry for all i care. I have been tolerating their noise lvl and inconsiderate actions for the past how many months..and not like they like me that much or anything..so i have nth to lose. Most of my classmates are totally insensitive to the teacher's feelings. And what did we do today? Point fingers and push the blame to michelle for calling ppl during chem lesson even though it wasnt entirely her fault. Can tell that the class kinda dislike michelle..but it just wasnt fair for her. Not only that..when the teacher stormed out of the classroom..we wanted to end the whole thing by saying a simple sorry and hope everything would be back to normal. Plz this is typical primary school behaviour? We are like JC students using a primary school tactic to get things back to normal? Hello. reality check..grow up la..no point saying sorry and reverting back to ur noisy selfs and hysterical laughters that can wake the dead. We ought to respect teachers more..who do we think we are.

I dare to say all that in my blog but not in real life...how loserfied...

On to more math hw and revision and blah blah blah. Bleaurgh. Wonder what will happen tmr. Would mdm still be angry? Would the class be remorseful or just try to end it with a simple sorry? Who knows...wateva.

Super duper class party

2006-05-03T07:04:00.000-07:00

Class party was on the 30th april. Got to see everyone in home clothes instead of the usual school uniform..haha and i contributed ice lemon tea. Lucky for the canoeists who cant drink soft drinks. Here is a movie review of the famous gay film, Brokeback mountain. I feel it was overrated and the big hooha over it was coz they heard there is gay action in the movie. There were a couple of gay scenes but they were nth much..haha the girls were squealling when the gays were making out and making love...but i have to admit it was a whole new experience watching those 2 main characters going at it. Sad storyline though. It kinda reflects how the present society judges gays. There was a funny scene when the gays were hugging each other and rolling down the hill which resembled the hill in teletubbies. And the gays ended up fighting which was kinda scary. Overall..i think the movie was slow moving. 2/5 stars coz the storyline was kinda boring and very little humour. Gay action was interesting though.

On to boring events in the afternoon. Pity lidan and pamela coz they came in the afternoon and had to leave around the evening when the fun started. Tovya came but she left coz she forgot she has to meet someone else..haha. The barbecue was fun. Helped carry stuff. Cooking was done by michelle and geri...fantastic bbq food. Everyone had a great time. The unveiling of the first class coupled occurred when we were chowing down. Haha its cool and i wish them all the best.

More ppl came and it was on to photo taking at the playground. Both sexes were posing and playing in swings. Some unglam candid shots were made. Saw kids fighting in the playground... Back to Eunice's place where Memoirs of a Zhang Ziyi was screened. Watched it before but i love zhang ziyi so it was awesome watching that movie again. The girl playing Chiyo is pretty too..hahaha but i am not paedo. Went home quite late.

Today had GP mock exam! Quite ok. First time i can finish the paper with ease. Hope i can do well. Long day tmr. Contemplating whether i am gonna watch the mj vs ac soccer match or play badminton with eric and xueming..see the circumstances and the weather tmr.

Getting tired of blogging. But i wanna jot down my youthful days. Then i can reminisce about wrong decisions and my cowardice....ahhhhh i need more self confidence...freak.

AC life

2006-04-28T07:18:00.000-07:00

Loads to say. Too much to say but i just simply dun have the freaking time and energy to type in my blog ever so often. Life is such a bore..without the company of friends it would be so much worse.

[ Wednesday ]
Short day as usual but no CCA again! Stupid track and field meet replaced cca. Rain caused it to delay and end even later. Lucky i had the company of Eric Weiqiang Xueming Sailesh Brian Arvin Joel and Mathan was somewhere in TCT house so he wasnt really around us. We had fun suanning each other and jacking each other as usual. Played chinese chess with marvin for a while. Refilled my bottle 3 times with free milo ! 500ml each round...haha and everyone was shocked that i took so much..now my bottle smells of milo...when the day finally ended with the school anthem, i punched eric in the stomach during the singing part and he slapped my back super hard..even though it wasnt painful and it was just for fun, the piak sound was like freaking loud and everyone around us turned to look at us..and we were so scared that mdm tham was behind us but in the end it was sailesh...hahaha

[Thursday]
Skipped mass PE because i can abuse my PMC anytime i dun feel like doing PE. More importantly, today is the day that marks the end of my SPAs forever! No more bio and chem spa !!!! And chem spa was sooo freaking easy...due to certain reasons. Badminton was as tough as usual but super fun. Eric wasnt around coz he was having a bad cold..ass...but got to meet new friends such as han fei and evy. Yup so we can look forward to playing badminton in the future.

[Friday]
Longest day ever...Chem and bio lectures with mathan and gang as usual. Chem with borris as the teacher was great. He can really teach and i understand everything he teaches. Econs supp was grilled by mrs yap even though i did what she wanted..typed out essay with research and everything..lacking diagrams was her key attention..stupid..but nvm i take her comments seriously in working towards improving my bloody econs. Math supp was spent doing tys with tovya..math lecture was boring. GP lessons even more boring! Cant believe i survived...PE was boring too...stupid Vo2 test dunno what crap and turned out that i am the second worst guy in that test..i am fit but my body has all sorts of abnormalities thanks to the genes inherited by my parents...they have not given me anything good when i was born...freak!

After school was the fun part. Had dinner with eric mathan and weiqiang while waiting for dreamship surprise to start. We laughed a lot at jokes and suanning each other. We even visited a toilet which was kinda eerie near the viewing gallery and i shouted at a dark corrider coz i was scared mathan would try to pull sth on me...hahaha but heck. Movie started without subtitles! Technical difficulties were solved in a while and the movie rocked. Spoof of star wars and star trek was damn funny with gay captains and his gay crew...pink stuff and sex jokes...fun filled laughter for everyone. Laughed till my abs hurt...

More tests next week. Labour day is here. School outing is on sunday. Meeting priya and gang tmr for group study at TJC. TJC ics nite tmr. I need sleep.

My first shave

2006-04-24T05:28:00.000-07:00

[23rd april 2006]
I shaved my moustache for the first time in my life. I have become a real man! Haha sounds stupid..may not a big deal to you readers out there but it is a big deal to me. So this special date represents my first shave. Yayness! Oh and i dreamt the answer to the binomial question priya asked me on 22nd april which i couldnt answer. Freaky huh.

[24th april 2006]
So glad that math and econs tests are over. Think i screwed up my econs a bit..stupid mistake..ah well but maths was really good. Hope i have recovered from my fall during the term exams and really hope i can get an A otherwise i can go suffer another bout of depression and contemplate suicide...haha jkjk as if i would commit suicide over such things..i am not that loser. But honestly i hope i can get good grades for maths and econs. Tmr may be judgment day coz ms pang marks really fast.

Heard from Mathan and Eric that their chem teacher is gonna resign...thats kinda sad..and they are desperately hoping the new teacher isnt gonna be ms baljeet kaur...hahaha.

Caught up with Dave Alexander today and had loads of laughs during Math S tutorial. Yan bo was like putting all the aircons at 16 degrees celsius when its raining outside...everyone was like freaking freezing...haha

Someone's birthday is approaching soon...

Horoscope: [LEO]

2006-04-21T05:16:00.000-07:00

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

Omg this horoscope thingy is so freaking accurate that it freaks me out. I feel that this description describes my character exactly. I am sure that my friends think so too. Freaky.

Days events updates.

2006-04-21T04:59:00.000-07:00

[Wednesday]
One of the most fun days i have experienced in AC. Slack day coz there are very few lessons. Fun part comes when it was time for the leadership talk. Had lunch with the F math ppl and the bunch of us joined Mathan Eric and Xueming to wreck havoc in LT1. Sailesh was like suanning me throughout the whole day..talking about dogs and slaves..hahaha but it was super fun jacking each other and making each other laugh. Mathan Eric Xueming Sailesh Weiqiang Arvin Brian Joonkiat and myself sat in one group and even though some parts of the lecture was boring..we certainly had fun jacking each other and chatting about anything under the sun. Sailesh was the cheerleader for the hoola hoop game! Go SA1 ! Hahaha and there was another orientation like game when we needed to play a game like rock paper scissors and do some action when 2 ppl match. After the whole thing there was a group hug! Haha super fun. If only everyday can be like this..life would be perfect and just like MJ days..even better..

[Thursday]
Looooooooooooong day. Bathe in school for the first time and cold water plus cold aircon got me shivering throughout lessons..haha but it was cool and refreshing. Chem spa was so slack coz it was invigilated by mdm clare teo..haha we practically had a lot of hints and precautions before the exam..during the chem spa i realised i had to repeat a certain expt 5 times in half an hour. I was like panicking and frantically grabbing bottles of reagents and measuring and pouring and timing...etc etc. could tell tovya was kinda nervous too..she forgot to add starch solution and she spilt some chemical on her skirt...but i am sure she did quite ok for her spa. The top of my bunsen burner almost came out coz it was loose and i put on goggles even though i didnt have to...how stupid..haha but maybe i will get extra marks for extra safety..who knows...

We got back report cards after spa which was kinda depressing. No As this time around..ah well. Conduct was very good too..sucks. Gonna improve. Released early and i went to the NL to meet eric mathan and xueming for some gay action. Bend over! Hahaha. Got changed and badminton time.

Badminton was awesome as usual. It was a good sweat out and even though my arms and legs ache now..at least i got to lose some fats...haha and i saw linhao play badminton! Stephen still owes me a match. Joel is constantly picking up and he plays great now. He has regained his legendary form! Inclusive of special moves and super fast reflexes. As usual i am using my elbow strength instead of my wrist...tennis player playing badminton. Chatted with Eric and Xueming before going home.

[Friday]
Unexpectedly, it was kinda slack today even though it was a long day. Lectures were ok but boring as usual. Spent econs supp in a fan operated classroom with pamela and lidan and did math instead of econs..haha i sure do miss those fan operated classrooms..been a while since i have last been in one..too much aircon..rheumatism..haha. Spent math supp hiding from ms pang coz i didnt wanna do anything during math lesson. GP was boring. PE was frisbee which turned out that i can play quite ok..haha.

Tests coming up. Hw piling up. Stress building up. But my motivation level will continue to increase. A lvls is going down!

Mae

2006-04-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

[Mae][Suspension]

Lately I'm alright
and lately I'm not scared
I've figured out,
that what you do to me
feels like I'm floating on air.

I don't need to know right now
all I know is I believe in the very thing that got us here
and now I can't leave.

Say anything, but say what you mean,
cause I'm caught in suspension.

Now, I'm wanting this for sure
and I'll beg for nothing more.
I'll plan all day and drive all night
you'll love what's in store.
I can't seem to stop this now
even if it's not so clear,
and I'll take what I can get.
If you want me here (If you want me here)

Say anything, but say what you mean.
When you whisper you want this
your eyes tell the same.
We are gaining speed
I can barely breathe.
Cause I'm caught in suspension.

It's enough for me to get excited,
It's enough for me to feel...Oh!

Say anything, but say what you mean.
When you whisper you want this.
Your eyes tell the same.
We are gaining speed (suspension)
I can barely breathe (Oh, please say what you mean)
I'm caught in suspension (suspension)
I'm caught in suspension.

Say (say) anything (suspension)
but say what you mean (Oh, please say what you mean)
I'm caught in suspension (suspension)
I'm caught in suspension.
We are gaining speed (suspension)
I can barely breathe (Oh, I can barely breathe)
I'm caught in suspension (suspension)
I'm caught in suspension.

Say (say) anything (suspension)
but say what you mean (Oh, I can barely breathe)
I'm caught in suspension

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Not Corrine May, not Mayday, its Mae. Mae is a christian band of 5 guys introduced to me by Victoria and Tovya today in the library. I may not be an avid follower of Jesus, but i have to admit that the band is something unlike the other christian bands that i have heard before. Especially like the song suspension coz the rhythm and guitars are kinda good. Unique style of guitaring. Their genre is indie. And their lyrics are rather emo. Haha but too bad their music isnt fast pacing..otherwise i would have liked the band even more..

Today was a super long day..Started the day off with maths tutorial. Seems that quite a lot of ppl are having problems with complex numbers...guess i am not the only one having such problems...haha but i am sure we can help each other out and it would work out eventually. Complex numbers is just another topic..just more complex..no pun intended. During chem i was like half listening to clare teo talking about biochem..fun part came during bio lecture when the teacher was wrapping up the lecture on nervous system. During the last part, she was talking about how drugs can affect the nerve impulses in the body and give the person a high feeling. Then mathan and eric were like cracking this joke about power rangers and its morphine time! And they start injecting morphine and they get all high and start going berserk by whacking up monsters. It kinda potrays a message to the kids..hahaha. Then we were talking about more spoofs relating the teletubbies going on crack and getting all high at their grassy area..haha.

Almost died during econs. No break after econs. It was a round of dissection of the lamb's heart. It was cool to manipulate the heart..poking rods through the vessels..pinching the fats surrounding the heart..using the scalpel and scissors to tear the muscles apart..examining the insides and joanna poured some chemicals onto it but nth was observed coz the chemical were too dilute..haha. I wanted to burn the heart after the expt but mdm tham was around...imagine what would happen if i pour a few drops of conc. acid onto it..fumes would form..haha..sadistic. Feeling and squeezing the heart was cool. After the expt, i tore the heart with my bare hands..how brutal..and my hands really reeked of some sour milk smell mixed with detergent smell.

Free period! My only free period from monday to friday is bio supp lesson! Did some econs with victoria in the canteen and realised that we can help each other out for econs MCQ..haha. Studied with victoria and tovya in the library. Raining cats and dogs and when econs period came...we had difficulties crossing over to the classroom due to lack of umbrellas...so a lot of ppl got wet and my pants were soaked.

During GP lesson..Ms Ho was talking about the incident of some cat being brutally killed and dissected and the body parts are shrewned all over school. Heard from victoria that it was the white cat that i use to see everytime i go to school in the morning at the back gate and the head of the cat was found at the goalpost. Kinda satanic and the person who did this seriously need psychiatric treatment. Tovya was kinda disgusted by this...and i felt kinda weird coz i use to see that white cat and now its gone.

Finally school is over. Tmr is a short day with chem test and leadership training dunno what crap programme..ah well. NiteZ.

Good friday

2006-04-14T09:08:00.000-07:00

Good friday isnt that good afterall but at least i can catch a breather. Today is sunita's bdae and i wished her via sms..and she was glad that i remembered her birthday..of coz i remember..she is one of my good friends in TK..

Mathan and i had a serious talk on msn.. and i realised that there has been a major misunderstanding between us. It seemed that the reason he avoided and drifted away from me coz he felt a strong negative aura around me and felt that he should give me some space. All this while i thought i had pissed him off in some way and he has developed negative feelings towards me and decided to steer away from me..haha but at least the air between us is cleared and everything is back to normal. Cant blame mathan..indeed i had loads of negative feelings concentrated within me during the beginning of this year. Coz of a certain incident with someone..but that thing has been cleared up long ago..

And we debated about self reliance. I was pro and he was against. Actually i feel self reliance is quite impossible bcoz u tend to rely on ur friends once in a while. But i am trying to achieve self reliance bcoz i wanna prove to everyone else that i am worthy of sth. I wanna be acknowledged that i can be independent and strong. I dun wanna be the weakling i once was in TK. I have changed and i wanna improve my entire being continuously. Negative emotions do serve as a drive and motivates me to get things done. They can be good if they can be controlled. But if controls the person..the result would be zijian. So i would say i am on the verge of becoming a zj replica..which i never wanna be..even though i am going towards that direction..i can assure my friends i would never be like him. I am totally different from him.

What motivates Danver.
-------------------------
- Fast jamming music
- Hatred
- Agony
- The desire to be acknowledged by everyone
- The desire to become a much better person
- Friends
- Coffee
- Memories

Overwhelming motivation coupled with determination and perseverance will make me a better person. Whatever problems that surface...whatever fears i face...bring it ON.

Hormones

2006-04-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

My sex hormones really suck. I have been fighting against them to try and control my feelings and my actions. There are supposed to be part of my body..my ally..and yet they are acting like some pathogen ready to infect my body and cause me harm. Infatuations are really irritating. Its really embarrassing seeing myself falling head over heels for some girl just coz she is hot or cute or really friendly with me for a moment. It would take ages for this kind of crush to subside..but even after subsiding there is always a possibility for a relapse.

I really want to treat girls with respect and dignity. This may sound kinda dumb but thats what i really wanna do. As in all this while girls have been insulting guys and generalising the fact that guys are scum, dumb, immature and have no idea what a woman really wants. You cant blame the girls..i mean afterall how many guys have they met who matches what their ideal guy would be like..furthermore most of the guys they hang around with only think about sex and they act really immature. I would like to grow up into a man instead of being trapped in this immature world..if only my hormones would let me.

Honestly speaking, ever since i have entered the JC lifestyle..i really have to admit that i have become a more matured guy. ( Readers dont laugh..haha ) I dont laugh as much as i did during TK days ( except with mathan eric and xueming ). I dont do stupid things..i dont run away from my problems..i dont freak out as much..i have definitely learnt to not to think so highly of myself..My weaknesses are still around though..esp my super huge ego..ah well

Got Band 1 for PW! Thanked Ms lai for all her advice and pushing and her attitude towards me ( Coz i was the PW rep ). Really appreciate the help from my PW members and teachers and everyone else who helped me.

Good friday tmr. Plus sunita's bdae. Must remember to wish her. Cant believe i am gonna spend the long weekend at home doing hw..sucks.

First, second, third.

2006-04-12T03:18:00.000-07:00

Woke up with a yawn, it's dawn and i'm still alive.
Turned on my radio to start a new day.
Let's get them DJ's chatting, have to survive.
amazing news got over on the airwaves.

Tonight, love is racing.
Tonight constellation.
Tonigh love is racing my way,
almost another day.

She's a shooting star, goodnight, goodnight.
She's a shooting star, goodbye...

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First and foremost i have made this blog a private one and i would like to say that its been a long time since i have last blogged. Been really busy. But who cares since no one would be able to read my blog anymore apart from myself. I got my first bible yesterday. It was 2 days of chapel coz it was religious emphasis week. The bible is cool but it kinda contradicts itself. It says that Jesus is the son of David but later says he is the son of Joseph. Asked tovya and she said son of Joseph..

Secondly, i have gotten second place in scrabble competition. I was quite worried coz i placed the word 'zen' and it was REJECTED ! OMG. How sick is that. Zen is rejected in scrabble even though it is a proper word with actual meanings...ah well i am still happy that i got second. Can add that to the CCA records.

Thirdly, i am gonna exceed my limits. CA was a disappointment indeed but i am not gonna let this setback stop me or demoralise me any longer. I am gonna work 3 times as hard as before and definitely not be an overconfident loser. Dropped bio S but Math S is still on. Life is gonna be tough. Its gonna be unfair. Its gonna be hellish..but no one said life is perfect.

On a lighter note, i have become better friends with my classmates. Obviously i cant really mix with them since i cant click with them. But i have made good friends like victoria tovya joanna pamela and lidan. I should be thankful that i even have the courage to approach them and start conversations with them... I'm growing up. Haha..i wish. But its really awesome having them for company. At least i have sth more to look forward to in school.

Good friday is coming soon! Tmr is a long day! Strive on danver. I know u can do it.

Over confidence.

2006-03-24T19:34:00.000-08:00

Freak i got a B for math...on the exam day itself i knew i screwed up the paper...damn. Overconfidence and lack of practice really puts me down..disgrace to math S. But i am going to get over this, learn from my mistakes and pick myself up again to work even harder than before. Gonna guarantee an A for prelims and As.

Seems that i did well for bio S selection test. Wonder if i would get into bio S class..But even if i do..i would be in a dilemma. Lets just see what happens..

More More thoughts.

2006-03-23T05:32:00.000-08:00

Deep down within the depths of my heart lies a hidden confession that i have been wanting to tell ya for ages. However, this gutless pathetic soul that i possess restricts my way of expression..mangles my true feelings and distorts my decisions. Hesitations are common. MY voice is laden with melancholy and despair. I am hopeless after all. Even starting such a simple conversation with her is so nerve-wrecking..

Y am i supressing my true feelings? What cowardice. I am such a failure as a Leo. The facades i put on everyday..the feelings i try to hide from her..she seems so near yet so far..will i live to regret if i have kept my feelings as a secret? Perhaps...but what can i do...i am nothing but a coward. I envy others.

Guess i cant impress her after all.. My math was screwed..Chances of getting an A are rather slim. Sorry...i hope u can find a better tutor than me if you ever need one.. I dont stand a chance..i am unfit to do so anyway.

Today was the last day of the exams. No big deal coz more major events are coming up. Stress is building up. Gonna accelerate my training schedule. I need to have a mind as clear as a polished mirror. I need to regain my calm and posture. I need to stand up against my fears instead of cowering in the darkness. I need to have the discipline to pull through hard times. Most importantly, i must be more mature about the situation...

On a lighter note, today was fun. Hung out with Eric, Mathan, Ryan and Edwin instead of hanging out with my class. U can say its like a betrayal to my class but heck. I cant possibly force them to be my best friends if we dont click..and neither can they force themselves. Ate at JEC with them..Watched V for Vendetta too..finally a good movie that i actually liked. Expected of the wachowski brothers. Played pool but it didnt go that well for me..determined to improve. Went to brian's house to watch anime. Really enjoyed myself despite the math screw up...ah well.

Sorry once again.

More thoughts.

2006-03-22T06:05:00.000-08:00

We are fighting dreamers, aiming for the top.
Fighting dreamers, without a care for how we look.
Fighting dreamers, believing as we do.
Living out our dreams that is.

Through the grim carnage along the road,
where will you go, opening up another map?
The vivid crow snatched it up and escaped, taking it away.
Come on, all you gotta do is open the eyes in your heart,
and you will see through to the present truth.
There is nothing left to lose so let's move on out!

Right here, right now, let it rip like a bullet liner.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I only wanted to leave a shadow in a small corner of your heart, and be a man and fight for ya.. I am definitely not good enough..so after all that i shall disappear...hope i can remain as a memory...

Danver...forget about revenge. I have seen plenty of guys like you.. The ones who speak only about vengeance are the worst kind. You will hurt yourself more than ever and you will only cause yourself to suffer. Even if you succeed in your revenge, all that will remain is emptiness and sorrow.

Shut up! What do you know?! Dont talk to me as though you can understand me! Well then, what if i took away or killed someone important from you? Then you'd see that what you are saying is wrong.

Well that could be. Unfortunately, there isnt anyone like that for me. They have all left me. Times have been bad. I know the pain of loss. You and i havent really been fortunate..lady luck is not on our side..but it could be worse. For me and for you too...we've found good friends havent we? Because of your losses, you should be more mature of the situation. Only you have the power to control your destiny. Cherish those around you...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last paper tmr. Wonder if i can impress her with my grades..and hopefully become better friends with her...really hope she does well too..seeing her cry is unbearable.

Life

2006-03-18T07:35:00.000-08:00

Once, twice, the bell toll echoes,
Far and wide in the heart.
Like in a story, stellar droplets fall,
And inside narrow tracks are built.

As time goes by, the times will change.
The drifting stars will quietly move.
If you close your eyes and listen closely,
goodbye.

Release the light
Don't give up, be strong.
Now let em out until it reaches someone.
The light of glory lies beyond here.
Its the story we all create together.

Look up at the light of the stars in the night sky.
The thoughts and wishes of the past will cross the ages.
And arrive just as vividly.
In your sparkling eyes, someone's scream is reflected.
Feelings on the wind, wishes to the moon,
Today i will live life to the fullest too.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life is like playing a game with no restart button. Its like playing a long round of russian roulette.

Term 2 is coming in 2 days. Exams comes as part of the package. I am not gonna be scared at this point of time. Its futile. All i can do is do my best and not regret.

Question of who is happier.

2006-03-14T06:30:00.000-08:00

Who are you to question who is happier. You claim that your life is miserable coz he treats you like some maid and sometimes i do the same. More importantly, you are totally blaming me for your sufferings. Have you given a thought about my life? my happiness? Or do you simply assume that my life is picture perfect and i am all smiles and joys everyday? Bet its the latter. Fine..if you claim that your life is really that pathetic and full of sufferings, that comes to show that you only care for yourself. Even if you do care only about yourself, you dont even want to make any effort to change your life. Instead all you ever do is lament about your life and blame ME for it. Thx a lot.

Ppl claiming that they are unhappier..debating about who's life is more pathetic than the others...how childish.

Happiness is short lived. Its true that i am able to at least sense happiness when i hang around with friends. They are my only source of enjoyment and hanging out with them brings meaning into my life. Life at home is hell. Life being alone is hell. Life without any real support is hell. My friends would depend on my help..rely on me during times of need. I have no one to rely on. Rather some would just ignore or shrug it off with some lame excuses. How i long to leave this home. How i long to change my current lifestyle. I long for freedom.

I want to experience the true meaning of life.

Is seeing other ppl experiencing happiness supposed to make me feel happy or make me feel jealous? Somewhat both. I can help others..but i cant help myself..how pathetic.

Terms commences.

2006-03-10T06:33:00.000-08:00

Lets kick off the day with a GP exam. Sucks. Actually, the GP exam wasnt that tough..managed to finish my AQ question and it is rather well done if i dare say. Quite confident in achieving better grades in GP. If i dun..i seriously have to put in more effort..less my mom will start getting hysterical and everyone around me in school would start getting on my nerves too.

Argued with my mom over my rights of going out with female friends. I dont see the big deal in hanging out with female friends..She is afraid that my sex hormones would go out of control and things would happen. Even though her imagination is wild, she also criticised my friends and that is like a total insult flying straight at my face. Whats her freaking problem man...she has no idea how irritating it is to always having to ask her for permission before i hang out with female friends..she would want to know everything about my female friend and if she doesnt like the company..she would absolutely refuse all contact with the friend. How unreasonable and immature is that..Whats ironic is that my GP comprehension today is about teenagers and how the gap between teenagers and adulthood is bridging coz children are maturing faster than adults..how true. Fuck! My mood is totally ruined thx to her and i am ranting in my blog coz i was contemplating whether to go to NUS open house or not and now i have no mood to think about the event. Zijian was also bugging me since who knows when about the open house and i am freaking pissed with him. I still remember the time when he said i was trying to force him by persuading him to buy fun-o-rama tickets..i wasnt even forcing him and he was getting all touchy and sensitive..and now he is doing the same thing to me but 5 times worse..bloody hell irritating and he definitely doesnt practise what he preaches.

That put aside..played 4 hours of badminton with eric xueming and china ppl we dont know. Really had fun sweating continuously for 4 hours and drinking gallons of water. Even did situps..must be crazy..guess all these comes from my motivation to train..ever since that failure...argghhhhh.

Ok 2 failures in relationships...kinda heartwrenching but in a way its a blessing in disguise. Now i have a mind equivalent to a polished mirror..i often self reflect and find ways to improve myself instead of judging others and claiming that i am so called superior. I dare say i am more matured in my thinking now..and i would be able to resist temptations caused by my stupid sex hormones...i feel so pathetic. So helpless. I can help others but i can never help myself. Why is that so? Issit some inevitable phenomenon that happens to danver teo only...or some damnation from God..i wouldnt know. All i ever do is envy others and never regard myself as a person who has strengths. I possess no strengths. I dun respect myself. I dun trust myself. And here i am trying to tell ppl to believe in their abilities and trust themselves...not practising what i preach now..crap.

More importantly, i have found my purpose in life. I have succumbed to harsh reality that i am a helper and never a receiver. My purpose is to help others whenever they need help..and not expect anything in return...I feel that i should even help the ones whom i dislike..since i am already condemned as a helper. This is not about getting sympathy friendships..its not about believing in God...its not about trying to get ppl to acknowledge my existence...its not about trying to gain something out of helping ppl...its not about trying to act hero..its about being compassionate and helping ppl for the sake of their happiness. Its about self sacrifice..sacrificing my happiness for the sake of others..i am not entitled to enjoy true happiness..so y not try to make ppl around me happy..at least one other party would be in joy..

But i feel used. Yes i feel used. But it cant be helped..it is a fact that i am being used by ppl and taken for granted. Who do they think i am? Some idiot who can act as some slave to them? I just cant help but feel used. Let me ask u this..wont u feel used in my situation? Friends asking u for help only when they need it...and not bother about u when they do not need ur help. Damn.

Depressing post huh. Exams are coming too. March hols is a time to study..how stupid is that..singapore is pathetic..Damn.

aMUSE-ing.

2006-03-10T04:57:00.000-08:00

Typical wednesday for danver? My ass. Super fun wednesday for him. Rather eventful. Fast forward to the part after lessons coz they are extremely boring. Strategic games club as usual with xueming eric brian arvin joonkiat joel and dhriti. Its been a while since i have last played bridge..kinda miss playing the game. Played reversi for the first time in real life too.

Chess was over. The fun begins. Eric and I were busy making preparations for the upcoming performance MUSE to be held in the prestigious esplanade. An unforgetful moment in JC2. Headed over to my place first to change. Then i went over to eric's house for the first time. Its been a long time since i have last entered a HDB flat but it brought back nostalgic memories in Ubi. Met his family and played his com. His keyboard and mouse are freaking dirty !!! Eric go clean ur room man. Soft toys in there make it look like a girl's room...Went to tiong bahru plaza to buy flowers for edwina and zel. Eric was busy deciding on flowers whereas i decided on a sunflower for edwina. He gave zel a rose and edwina a sunflower.

Judgment day has arrived for myself and Eric. We ate at macs ( actually i was the only one eating ) but before that we saw khor saw lynn and keith tan in a delifrance talking and laughing. Keith tan noticed me and i was like shocked when khor saw lynn saw me. Btw..they are teachers. On our way to esplanade..i saw a few ACsians. Saw tovya walking with the CO president. Wanted to come up with some act by purposely walking ahead of her and looking back for eric. Kinda childish and cowardly but cant help it coz even though danver is a leo..he lacks charisma and courage..ironic. Anyway that act failed coz she just walked past me without saying hi..and eric was like comforting me..True i felt kinda depressed..coz she met up with daryl from SA. And they were sitting in front of me during the concert. So yeah felt kinda depressed and all that and really sorry eric for spoiling ur day.

However, the concert was good. I have to admit though that i fell asleep for the first part of the performance coz i was kinda tired and depressed and the music was really soothing. But the songs increased volume..with more drastic changes and loud blasts from trumpets that woke me up..sudden adrenaline surge when some songs were played. During intermission, we gave the flowers to zel and edwina..haha edwina had to go..so i made my absence clear..leaving eric and zel alone..saw what happened between the 2 of them and i was laughing at eric...he came up with corny remarks and presented zel the rose in a very cliche way...hiding the flower behind his back..but i am happy for him. At least he was happy...and happy that i could help him.

Ended late..reached home at 11...how late is that..but muse was really worth it..actually the ticket i got was the most expensive but yet tovya who paid less got to sit in front..so in the future i better buy the cheapest ticket...but this ticket i got it free !!! Thx edwina for the treat..hope u appreciate the sunflowers..haha. MUSE was fantastic.

[Post fun-0-rama celebrations][Arts night][Founder's Day]

2006-03-01T01:43:00.000-08:00

[Post fun-0-rama celebrations]
Well since fun-o-rama was such a great success..we ACSians feel that we deserve a break. We chanted holiday when kelvyna chan was making her speech on fun-o-rama..and our wish was granted! We were immediately released from school and i wore my uniform for like 1 hour...joined mathan's class to have lunch at some japanese restaurant in shaw house. Food was great but it was kinda pricey though. We had to cook our own chicken. Talking about chicken..when i was eating..eric was talking about how her smile could melt my heart. When i agreed with him..mathan said eric's smile grills his chicken..and we just burst out in laughter..hahaha. Watched fog and from today onwards i am never watching another horror movie produced in america coz most of them are not freaking scary... The fog featured tom welling which is the smallville lead..and there were hot babes. Basically the story is about this town which is haunted by ghosts who suffered from leprosy when they were alive. They were seeking revenge coz the founders of the town breached the contract they made and killed them all. Thats it. No shocks. No scary scenes..Slight gore. And there was this scene when tom welling and his gf were getting intimate in the shower room. They were getting hot and wet at the same time and i was like is this a horror movie or not?! Oh ya and the funny thing is that i met my cousin in the same theatre. After the movie..the whole lot of AC students shouted that the movie sucked. But there was this niger joke that was worth 3 bucks..so i wasted 4 bucks only.

Eric lost his orange plushie but found it the next day...seems that his classmates went around orchard looking for it and it was a success..haha.

[Arts night]
It was an experience never to be forgotten. After bio S..i stayed back, waiting in anticipation for arts night to happen. It seems that the havana themed event is a big thing in AC.. so i decided to check it out. LT4 was decorated with havana style decorations. Ppl were dressed in havana clothes while some bimbos apparently decided to flaunt their curvatures by wearing skimpy clothes that revealed quite a bit. U have no idea how short some of their skirts were...haha. Arts ppl were busy coz it was a big event dedicated to arts students. Bands were getting ready and wenlong from robbie and the book of tales was the host along with debra. It was rather eventful coz i realised many things that i didnt know before. Benjamin is in a band and Eugene is his band manager.. Nathenial shen, thaddieus and subas are in the same band..Darren and Ashish are in the same band..The 2 malays in Linhao's class make excellent beatboxers. Ultimate respect for them. One guy previously from F maths class could juggle super well to 'dancing in the moonlight'. Kinda fag but his juggling skills were awesome. The rock bands played numerous songs and i have to admit that their are good. Can tell that they have put in a lot of effort for arts nite. Everqueer is back. Tovya's and Krishmen's band by the way. Didnt know tovya is the only girl in her band. She played the bass and the synthesizer. I felt that everqueer's drummer and guitars were good..but Viknesh the vocalist was going a bit too fast in his songs..thus it was thrown off rhythm..but no worries..i am sure everqueer would make a dramatic comeback in another performance..which is the upcoming rooftop performance in AC.

All in all..it was fantastic. Reached home at 10.

[Founder's day]
SUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPER boring speeches were made. Throughout the whole ceremony and prize giving and speeches and hymns..i was fooling around with eric, xueming, mathan and marvin..haha we just kept laughing and laughing and getting high and higher and poking eric is so freaking fun. We talked about the girls we liked too..haha. Choir and band played during the ceremony. Good news is that there is no school on that day and minister of manpower came over. After the whole ceremony thing..khor saw lynn went up to stage to lecture us on our inappropiate behaviour. He said that the ppl in the hall which are the JC2 are the most well behaved ( my ass ) and the JC1 in the LT didnt behave well. He gave us one minute to reflect and we were actually laughing at him...so lame.

The day wasnt over. It ended at 11 but i have to get my AO chinese results at 2. Went with mathan's class to chow down at grillers at tiong bahru plaza..near eric's place. The chicken was good but the service was sucky. I am never going there again even if the food is good coz the waitresses spoke to us in chinese and gave us burnt food..haha its like cheating our cash. The class of 2SD4 took neoprints. After the trip to tiong bahru plaza..we went back to AC and we were late...hahaha. 98.2% passed MT !!! Cool huh. I wasnt expecting much in terms of grades coz i know my chinese sucks. If i pass..i will be contented. I got a B4 !!! And a MERIT for oral !!! I cant believe it. From a pass in oral during Os to a merit..an accomplishment for danver who cant speak chinese well..hahaha. When mathan got his results..he was ultra happy that he got D7 for tamil..which means he can drop the stupid subject..haha he was so happy that he got super high and started hugging me and eric...so funny..haha

We witnessed tears of joy and sadness in the hall when the JC3 received their As results. There are 2 ACSians who got 9 distinctions..cool huh..dun worry..next year i will be one of those walking up on the stage and shaking hands with kelvyna chan...i will make sure that happens.

After all that big hooha..eric xueming mathan and ryan came over to my place to play warcraft and Xbox and drink free coke as usual...haha but i dun mind their company..great friends. The day ended off well and everything is back to normal tmr...argh long day tmr...freak.

Cant believe its already march. GP exam is next week...scary.............

Fun-o-rama XVIII

2006-02-18T06:17:00.000-08:00

OMG today rawked the house man!!! Super long post on fun-o-rama coming right up. First of all, i had to wake up early in the morning and reach school by 7am..but its considered nth coz the girls had to go to other girls' houses to help bake the crepes and get ready the italian sodas. Respect the girls..really capable of doing stuff that guys are completely hopeless in..haha. Had to carry 7-up bottles and pails of water and prizes which are SUPER heavy by the way. After carrying those stuff, i was like totally soaked in sweat and got kinda injured and tired..but i did all these for the class and AC.

Krusty Krepes and Frag & Brag were the stalls names. Awesome huh. Banners were hung up..decorations displayed...food items and games were set up. All preparations were complete and i had an easy shift to do in the morning coz very few ppl would visit the games stall in the morning.

After my shift..i met loads of friends !!!! The east siders rawk. I saw long lost 4A friends like chia wei, kevin and benjamin. Anthony cancelled his thailand trip and he visited AC today !!! Super happy to see him. Brian and Joel joined us to explore AC as a group. Saw Ichun, Jessica and Gita too. Met nithya and her friend. Mathan was busy manning his stall so he couldnt join us..we went around to buy food and drinks and played some games..showed the guys the AC sports complex and my house. Haha they were in awe when they saw supergym...even though the new SA village is up and ready..the gym is not as fantastic as our supergym..hahaha. They loved AC gym and swimming pool. After exploring..we decided to go for the wayang haunted house. Waited quite long buy it was quite worth it..there were hands touching my feet..wanted to shout molest...then had loads of shocks too..scary makeup on the arts girls..some of them wore cheongsams and looked really pretty. Haha had fun in the haunted house..even though tix were 10bucks !!!

Saw Kelvyna chan kena dunked !!! omg AC is crazy...500 bucks have to be raised before trying to dunk CCA captains and councillors. 1000 bucks have to be raised before trying to dunk teachers. And 2000 bucks have to be raised to dunk the principal..huge profits..can see ppl throwing away stacks of coupons..crazy rich ppl...haha but it was totally hilarious seeing the principal kena dunked..she was waving her arms before unexpectedly she fell into the water..and she was splashing water at the audience...haha

My second shift of the day was no easy feat. Lighting candles..giving prizes...collecting money..preventing the wind from extinguishing the candles..for 3 hours!!! Omg it was crazy and i was sweating like nobody's business...but it was an awesome experience. My classmates and i supported each other so th exp wasnt so painful. It rained and everyone freaked out! Prizes got wet and the wind was strong. But we perservered and strived on..and we managed to prevent the stall from collapsing or anything worse than that..

After my second shift..hung out with Brian, Zamir, Kenneth, Dehong and Zijian. Bought AC products with zamir. Brian and the rest bought market goods coz apparently it was cheaper than outside..haha how cheapskate...we sat down and chatted a bit...visited mathan's stall and bought some stuff..hopefully it wasnt too sian for them coz of the rain..haha but i definitely had fun and bought loads of souvenirs. AC teddy, mug, umbrella, badges, water bottle, keychain, shirt and 2 jackets !!! Haha.

At the end of the day..everyone was bushed...clearing up was a drag...and there were loads of disputes among ourselves before we left the classroom..hopefully everything can be cleared by monday...but honestly speaking..thx everyone for coming to AC and thx to ACSians for putting in so much effort to ensure that fun-o-rama is a success. Thx a lot guys! Appreciate all ur hard work.

My arms and legs freaking ache and i am super tired. Need to recuperate and hope i dun get sick...golf lessons tmr is gonna be hellish...niteZ.

Valentines day

2006-02-16T04:55:00.000-08:00

Ok its been a long time since i have last blogged..but before i touch on the details on valentines day..let me start blogging about monday first..the day before valentines.

[Monday]
Normal day. But i felt vibrant and full of motivation..the rush of energy running through my veins..all ready to go through the torments of the day. Music is the source of life..my soul booster..my savior. Not only was i feeling great..i had loads of interaction time with her.. No big deal to others but super big deal for me.. for obvious reasons. Sat next to her which is rather rare...and had group study with her after school in the library. Totally awesome.. the experience of teaching her stuff and talking about anything under the world with her was totally awesome..hopefully we can do this every monday yeah. In other words, monday was a fantastic day for me..and the start of a wonderful friendship.

[Tuesday]
Valentines day. A.k.a vesak day. Happy vesak day everyone. I have been wishing ppl that coz i was reminded of what zamir said last year in ukraine...(what is vday? vesak day?) Hahaha totally hilarious. Really miss last year's valentines in meridian. I recounted the memories etched in my mind..lucien giving priya ba gua..giving chocolates to friends..receiving gifts from friends..gay action with scott, xuanyong and weiqiag...nallu giving avni and priya chicks...dinner at whitesands..really awesome. Valentines day in AC is so different. It is such a big hoo ha in AC. It was an eventful day...girls receiving flowers and balloons and chocs and cards etc..so u can see loads of girls carrying bags of gifts. And some of them were acting so bimbo..actually they didnt need to act. Received quite a number of gifts myself if i dare say..but i only gave a rose to tovya and victoria..my 2 closest friends in my class...and of coz gay action with mathan eric and xueming. Talked to weiqiang during econs about MJC days.. love songs and dedications were broadcasted...performances by teachers..and open confessions were seen in the canteen..haha full of laughter and my GP teacher debated with us about valentines day..how it is a waste of money and it lacks meaning in the modern world..haha.

[Wednesday]
Tovya gave me belated valentines gifts today. Haha she forgot to bring hers on the actual day.. Lessons were good. Chess was great..was on a winning spree..haha. Bridge was cool too considering that i havent played it for like how long...and got to catch up with F maths friends.

[Thursday]
Fun-o-rama preparations were superrrrrrrrrrrr tiring. Bet everyone was bushed after today...and tmr is gonna be hell too... Helped the class test the games stall...paint the stuff needed for the games stall..and helped cleaned up the classroom..so at least i can say i helped out in preparations and i wont have a guilty conscience. But i noticed that a lot of ppl in classes are flaring up and having big fights due to disputes during preparations..its hard to collaberate and compromise with one another as everyone has different opinions and stands..ah well..must learn to be disciplined and mature adults and try to talk things out in a calm manner.

Today i realised i suck in wrapping stuff. Tovya is an expert. Haha i was trying to wrap stuff and in the end i didnt really do anything and i had to leave all the wrapping to her...so pathetic rite..anyway girls are good in wrapping.

Water guns spraying water at candles. Nice game. Everyone had fun today and we had very few lessons. Tmr is a total slack day..no lessons..but loads of preparations need to be done.

Realised there is no badminton today..so ran 8 rounds around the track with xueming and eric. We played table tennis too..super fun.

Fun-o-rama is gonna be an awesome day. Even though it requires loads of hard work and effort..its all for the school. Tmr is the judgment day..whether i need to absorb or i can simply return coupons. Hopefully is the latter. NiteZ.

Fun-0-rama preparations

2006-02-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

The main purpose of the AC fun-o-rama is not for ppl to have fun, but its sole purpose is to raise funds for its arts centre. I am assigned to sell 20 coupons otherwise i face the possible threat of having to absorb the remaining coupons i cant sell. How retarded is that..rich schools are well known for sucking money out of students but i didnt expect ACJC, which is a government institution to being doing the exact same thing.

More importantly, i am bugging all my friends to buy tickets out of desperation. I have to even bother them by asking them to do me favours by spreading the word around and finding out who are interested... how pathetic am i...?? The rest of my classmates have already done their share and are even selling more than the norm. What do u expect from rich kids who are born with a silver spoon in their mouths and plus all their connections with high ranking and affluent ppl...plus they have connections from churches. I have none of the above mentioned. East siders dun wanna spend money unnecessarily..and they are wise. I feel that AC funfair is a totally waste of time. It isnt that fantastic..i have been to better funfairs.

Furthermore, i need to help out in the preparations on top of being stressed out about coupon selling. Other ppl are stressed about the upcoming Os results or the nearing of As..but i am being stressed for the wrong reasons..i am being stressed coz of stupid coupon sales... sure i am lamenting about this problem..but if u put yourself in my shoes..would u wanna waste 200 bucks on coupons for a funfair?? Preparations are such a hassle too.. food and games stalls have to be set up at the cheapest possible costs...we even have to paint banners and all that..sigh..totally sucks.

Look on the bright side. You will be meeting ppl on that eventful day. Friends that u have been dying to meet. Long lost friends from TK. So long as i dun die from heatstroke on that day..i should be having fun i guess.

AC cross country took place at macritchie reservoir yesterday. Nth much.i saw jeevan who couldnt remember my name..haha and i saw alvin. Cross country was cool coz i was slacking around..i was part of the logistics team coz i didnt need to run. Thx flat feet. Free milo was available! And i sang the sch anthem facing the opposite direction at the end of the day..lol.

Bleaurgh. Life just gets better and better. Bring on the stress man..

Windstruck

2006-02-04T06:01:00.000-08:00

"Penny & Me"

Cigars in the summertime under the sky by the light
I can feel you read my mind
I can see it in your eyes under the moon as it plays like music every line
There's a rug with bleeding dye under the fan in the room
Where the passions burning high by the chair with the leopard skin under the light
It's always Penny and me tonight

On the plane step up with both my feet
Riding in seat number 3 on a flight to NYC
Got my bean in a coffee cup next to my seat
Catch the view and another good book to read
Sitting at home over the friendly skies
Missing her eyes
It's always Penny and me tonight

Cause Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up, push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes, pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight

Staring at a million city lights
But it's still Penny and I all alone beneath the sky
Feel the wind brushing slowly by
If I could soar I'd try to take these wings and fly
Away to where the leaves turn red
But no matter where I am instead
Singing along to feeling alright
Or making it by under pink moonlight
It's always Penny and me tonight

Cause Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up, push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes, pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight

Penny likes to get away and drown her pain in lemonade
Penny dreams of rainy days and nights up late by the fireplace
And aimless conversations about the better days
Singing along to feeling alright, yeah
Or making it by under pink moonlight
It's always Penny and me tonight

Cause Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up, push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight

Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If one day i would die...i would wanna be the wind. Soaring through the skies, riding along the currents and gazing upon the grassy meadows...the twisting meanders...the majestic mountains...rocky cliffs and huge valleys...I would breeze through the air like a bird enjoying its freedom. In the night, astral wonders would be within my reach. As couples below would gaze upon the starry night, i would caress them with gentleness and fill them with delight and bliss, making their night an even more enjoyable one.

Being the wind means living in solitude again. All i could ever do is making others happy. Loneliness...sure its a horrible feeling but kinda got used to it.

Stop whining danver...

She cried...

2006-02-01T03:44:00.000-08:00

She cried...for the second time i saw her cry...the first time i saw her cry was when she was having a really really bad day when all the teachers chided her for something and she just couldnt handle it all at one go...for a while i felt kinda sad too...i felt so helpless...all i could do is crack some corny remark to try and cheer her up a bit...maybe some consolation...but thats it...well at least she laughed a bit so i am glad to see her smile again...hopefully she wont feel too bad tmr...

Don't cry k...u dont look pretty when u cry...

Chinese New Year and thoughts

2006-01-31T05:32:00.000-08:00

Chinese new year celebrations were awesome..seeing so many relatives at one go can really be tiring..but the monetary value gained from it is certainly gratifying...haha. Pui Eng and Irene look well..had some sort of pep talk with them about NS and University stuff. Brinden and Bhieman went there late as usual..but dinner was shared by the 3 of us and it was fantastic. Aunts and Uncles all look well too and thats good. Hope its gonna be a good year this year.

After all the excitement, chinese new year was over in a flash. Monday afternoon was kinda gloomy. Boredom drove me out of my house to just walk along the pathway of heritage view. The pavement looked like a scene from LOTR.. The bright amber sunlight shining through the leaves of nearby vegetation..i could see sun rays beaming on the ground with spots of shadows swaying randomly..Golden, maroon, orange and red leaves were scattered on the ground..like an autumn scenario which is kinda ironic since spring has just begun..Fragipani and lilies filled the sides of the pavement.

As i walked through it..i was thinking to myself..gosh..i have changed so much since secondary school days..The age of seventeen was supposed to be sweet 17 for most teenagers..but for me..it was a wake up call..a drastic fling back to reality..away from my dreamland. True enough it was a dark year. I have learnt so much from all the experiences and unhappiness throughout the year..in a way its a blessing in disguise. Honestly i miss those TK and MJ days..when ignorance was bliss and everyone is living out their lives..oblivious of the unseen future..unaware of the shortcomings they are going to face..Just when i thought last year was bad enough..the nightmare has just begun. This year is gonna be one helluva year. One that pushes my limits to the extreme..stretches my potential..fills my heart with pain and anguish..perhaps a slight glimpse of happiness..and definitely a way of preparation to be a real man. I am going to make it..i will make sure i make it. Success is the only route left and failure is not an option.

But most importantly, i must change even more. I must become a better person..i have to learn to overcome my fears...to toughen up for NS...stop deceiving those who are close to me...and stop deceiving myself. Instill discipline within myself...have to learn to control my emotions. Come on Danver...this is harsh reality...learn to face up to it.

Believe in yourself. You can do it. I know it.

Chinese New Year Eve

2006-01-28T08:32:00.000-08:00

Well chinese new year eve is over..so lets usher in the new chinese new year...Happy Chinese New Year everyone!!! All the best for the year yeah...

Yesterday's reunion dinner was as per normal... just a simple fare with my relatives...at uncle boon's place..had a 7 course meal but wasnt that full...so we ordered KFC home delivery. Wesley and Kerman being as irritating as usual...Brinden acting cool and Bhieman laughing at him always...haha my cousins...somemore Brinden is in ACJC too...

Today is gonna be an even more eventful day. Adios people.

Bleach Song

2006-01-27T07:20:00.000-08:00

You've been hurt by the unspeakable pain and agony.
Let's carry each other's indelible stains.
Just don't give up living.

Will i end up losing them someday?
I want to protect you and your fading smile.
So, even if the resounding voice calling me should wither,
Even if the mingling winds should tell me...
I will find you.

Dont say things like 'I can't laugh' or 'I hate people'.
There's meaning in everything that happens in the unseen future.
So stay as you are for now.
I know there'll come a time when you realize it.
Someday we'll understand each other.

CNY Eve Square

2006-01-27T06:03:00.000-08:00

Today is chinese new year eve eve...hence the name CNY eve square. Started off with fun-o-rama preparations in AC..kinda boring and sucky..but we got to interact with a junior class shared by mathan's class !!! Which was like super cool..and we plan to have an outing at eunice's place...an outing of 70 plus ppl..haha..the junior class only has 4 guys..and one of them is antisocial...girls are kinda hot i guess..but still cannot be compared to her...

CNY celebrations time. Loads of performances...chinese, malay, indian and modern dances..i love the performance put up by MCS...and linhao's acting was simply hilarious...CO 's music was good too...Oranges were given to teachers...and we were going high when we sang chinese new year songs...

Took a cab to TK with jessica mathan and linhao..talked about everything under the sun in the taxi coz its been such a long time since i have chatted with jessica...and we were kinda irritating the taxi driver..haha..TK celebrations werent that great..but meeting ppl and teachers was fantastic. TK has a new General Office and today was the official cutting the ribbon gimmick day. Lion dance was funny..a lion bit Tan Kee Hoe's hand to force him to give them hongbao... and they had a god of fortune mascot..walked around TK for a bit...met jessie and steph too...

On to pool in parkway. Met priya there and i was feeling kinda not in the mood coz the outcome of the group going for pool was kinda pathetic. Mathan also felt that it was a waste of time and i kinda agree with him... VJ ppl were there too.. so pool wasnt that fantastic. Doesnt matter..its either i suck being an organiser or ppl are simply too busy with their individual lives to have fun hanging out. BUT as usual i was the tyco king in pool..shooting unbelievable shots..but i hafta admit..the VJ guys next to us were good. Ah heck..its just pool.

Super sorry to priya and mathan if today was boring. Couldnt get the important and fun ppl to go...i just felt so lousy during the whole time thinking about how bored u guys felt.

Anyway...CNY shopping by myself was kinda loserfied. Bought a navy blue shirt which i like..and i cut my hair !!! I wanted it to grow but my mom insisted on my haircut...CNY is such a hassle...

A round of badminton anyone? Met up with benjamin, mavis and kevin to play badminton...Geylang serai CC was so empty la..maybe coz its CNY period...but it was sooooo cool hanging out with them considering the fact that i havent talked to them for like months? Talked a lot and caught up with each other..definitely need to have this kind of outings more often.

Went with them to parkway again to eat at fish and co. with jamie. First visit in Fish and Co. and their service was below standard..such a bad impression..ordered teriyaki salmon, french onion soup and passion fruit cocktail and i have to tell ya...the food rawkz. Expensive they may be..but they are scrumptious. Enjoyed my meal..chatted with friends and laughed about TK days and the present..Nice ambience too..and when dinner ended...kevin made a cocktail of his own..cold water with pepper,mayonaise, salt, a prawn shell with its head and feelers..a mussel...and a dried up lemon...and it looked like puke with a dead cockroach inside...sorry readers if this sounds really disgusting..believe me..the sight of it was horrible.

Went home.

Honestly, when are we gonna have a proper reunion...? If everyone is busy all the time, its as good as saying we are nerds...really.

Wateva..anyway CNY is here !!! Indians can call it munjan day or wateva..but its a great occasion and i am looking forward to celebrations. NiteZ.

Memoirs of a geisha

2006-01-25T02:21:00.000-08:00

Saturday wasnt that fantastic..but still good nevertheless. Who would have thought that i would miss my friends so much..haha but everything is cool now. The awful experience is behind me and i'm back to my normal self. Saturday kicked off with soccer at chai chee..stupid nallu didnt turn up as usual...gonna kill that fag on chinese new year eve if i do meet him..but honestly la..i miss nallu and his crazy tactics and lame jokes.(More like i miss jacking and whacking him up.) After soccer, Mathan, brian, dehong, anan, zamir and myself sat down to take a breather and talked about TK days...good old TK days...

Went to parkway with mathan, brian and dehong to meet priya and nithya. Lunch wasnt that great but at least we got to chat a bit. We met a hot french ( unfortunately she's a smoker..) But she had such a hot bod..and i admit i got kinda high and said bye to that french girl when she left..Mathan was talking about dunno what waterbomb and him cursing cheebye when he got soaked...haha..Oh and nithya gave me a Keira Knightley poster !!! Yayness. Thx a bunch and really love the poster. Just hope i dun let my emotions go wild and start licking the poster...Priya had sch which sucked..otherwise we could have hung out more..nithya had to go MPH and mathan wanted to go home..so the 3 chinese went CNY shopping! ( I was the one who wanted to get stuff..the others just tagged along...)

Bought a reebok bag. Went to PS to meet Zj to watch the long awaited memoirs of a geisha.But we had to wait till 6.30 coz tickets were selling fast...but it was worth it. Omg..zhang ziyi is so pretty!!! Esp with blue contacts...and the beautiful silk kimono..plus 1 intense sex scene of her and some caucasian but who cares about the guy..nth was revealed but still it was good. Overall theme is the same as the storybook..with hatsumomo being the evil geisha..mameha as the kind teacher..the chairman as her love..her sis ditching her..effects were good..the english is kinda slurred..what can u expect from chinese stars speaking english... but zhang ziyi was sooooo pretty !! 4/5 stars.

At at macs. We had a fries feast before the movie and eating macs for dinner after the movie...haha total binge of fast food..the FATS !!! ARGH.

Cant wait for CNY eve. May not have a TK reunion..a complete one is kinda impossible..but one can always hope..plus i am meeting priya and the rest for pool or movie or wateva..we are just gonna hang out and slack to our heart's content. Just one more day...stupid thursday..till then..PEACE.

Memoirs of a geisha is a splendid work of art.

I'm sorry...

2006-01-25T01:39:00.000-08:00

It was a tuesday night. 17th January. I had a struggle with myself. More importantly, the emotions that i could contain before were overwhelming on that very night. And i was beginning to consider..whether i should tell you how i felt...how i really felt. The grudge that i held, all the agony i suffered.. My mind was like a runaway kaleidoscope, in the turmoil of a maelstrom of colours. I met you online..i didnt want to talk to you over sms/phone/msn..i wanted to meet you in person and convey how i felt. But somehow u persuaded me to say my piece over the phone...and i caved in.

I was scared..really scared that i would lose everything over a simple phonecall. The friendship that we have established..the memories of us hanging out..i didnt want to let it go...i was caught in a dilemma..i told ya how i still had my grudge..despite the talk we had at the beach. Perhaps i was living in the past, clinging on to the hope that we might be together again. Perhaps i was being some immature kid who cant forgive. But put urself in my shoes. If i have done what u did.. would u still be my friend? Wouldnt u hate me? Your answer was to just break off from the friendship and get on with life. Maybe its easy for u since this kind of thing has occurred to u before...and when i heard your answer, i was thinking, are friendships really that easy to break off and forget?

The worst part of the conversation. I realised that this whole issue was my fault. When u asked me that very important question online, i lied about my feelings. I am such a pathetic liar. Not only have i deceived u..i have deceived myself. Upon realising the truth behind all this, i felt horrible..sick.. all the sufferings that u are enduring now could have been prevented if i hadnt lied about how i really felt during that time.. All the pain i bore and the grudges withheld wouldnt even exist...my life wouldnt have been so miserable..damn. I wanted to apologise but i know it was too late. We ended our friendship over the phone...

I couldnt sleep. All i could feel was this heartwrenching feeling within me..and at the back of my mind..there is this tiny little voice that keeps telling me that you are no longer my friend..you are out of my life totally.. My face was flustered and i just kept regretting all i said to you over the phone..I was wondering, am i supposed to pretend that i'm fine even though i am not? What was the whole point of holding that grudge..all she could do was apologise and she couldnt turn back time..furthermore it was my entire fault for deceiving her.. I felt terrible.

The next morning, i was too depressed to do anything. Somehow the motivation within me had dissapated..dumping my sorry self into the depths of solitude...that conversation was totally pointless..if only i could have set aside my big fat ego and just forgive ya.. I was left speechless. More importantly, i have lost a very important person in my life over some stupid grudge. The grudge i held was definitely gone..but i didnt consider your feelings when i said those stuff over the phone...You may have hated me so much for destroying the friendship..you may have been depressed too..i didnt know..all i knew was that i have to get u back in my life..friends do come and go..but this friend of yours is gonna stick to you for life. I read your blog during recess and i finally knew how u felt after that night.. I am truly sorry for everything. The thought of not having u as my friend is nauseating.

We made up and we are friends again. Sounds stupid right? My fault. Just wanna let u know that u are a very important person in my life..all grudges are gone too. I have learnt to open up more..i should talk to someone about my problems instead of bottling them up and waiting a year before talking about it all at one go...After this whole experience, i have learnt to treasure u more and gonna cherish this friendship for life. No more lies too.

Lastly, for readers out there.. do not make important decisions online or over the phone.

My Shadow: My only friend.

2006-01-17T03:52:00.000-08:00

[All That I've Got]

So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
Off guard, red handed
Now I'm far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..

I need something else
Would someone please just give me
Hit me, knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh all I want inside
I still am empty
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

I guess, I remember every glance you shot me
Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hardI stopped your heart from beating
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me, I..

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
And it's all that I've got

Yeah, it's all that I've got
It's all that I've got
It's all that I've got
It's all that I've got!

So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

ENOUGH!!! Damn it !!! Hate it when ppl make use of me when they need me and cast me aside like some tool when i am not in need. Certain individuals are freaking pissing me off. They take me for granted. Its bad enough that i am this angsty teen with the emo and stress and stuff but adding to my burden and sufferings are these few ppl who make use of me. What am i supposed to do? Say no to u guys when u want my help? Oh i would love that so very much...just that my conscience is going against me..otherwise i would have just blew my top and bombarded u guys with vulgarities and even take the opportunity to sever all ties. Sure i may seem like some immature brat and all that..but how would u feel if u realised that u have been such a fool over the past few years..helping ppl who dun even appreciate ur kindness..helping ppl who forgets what u have done for them..well i am that kind of fool. Kindness doesnt beget kindness.

Then i would ask myself. Y do i help then..if by helping ppl would make me feel so bad about myself..y help..? Conscience.

Freak.

Stop wallowing in self pity.

2006-01-15T05:46:00.000-08:00

Friendships. Some remain strong whereas some slowly fade away into oblivion. Honestly, my true friends belong to the TK gang. Have secured several friendships with a few others. But after establishing such a strong relationship..isnt it a pity to just let it all go..? Am i thinking too much? Perhaps. But on the other hand i may not be. Have i been so blind all this while...or issit just my imagination? Issit due to stress or puberty that i am feeling all this? Probably one of the above mentioned.

I should stop wallowing in self pity. What good will it do for me anyway. It is such a heart-wrenching feeling..exactly how a knife that has plunged deep into my heart feels. Its such a sick feeling..and i have been feeling it so much until i grow to like the feeling of it..some what like an addiction. Every morning during assembly, i would immerse myself into my deep thoughts during devotion period...thinking of my past, present and future..and wondering...am i a good friend or am i a fool.

All this doesnt make sense. It just doesnt.

Well doesnt matter for now. I will just wait and see how things go. If things get ugly one day..i just have to accept my fate and deal with it. But it would be such a pity.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is my new idol considering that keira knightly shows off her assets in movies to gain popularity...she bares them all..which kinds of make me lose respect for her. Now its a duel between Jennifer and Zhang ziyi for the number one on my list. Memoirs of a geisha determines it. Its gonna be a good movie. I am sure of it.

CNY eve is coming. Counting down to the major reunion of GD. Urgh its such a long while more. But i will look forward to that eventful day.

Swim PE is fun. Just found out that the catagorising test for swimming is freaking easy..one lap breaststroke and one lap freestyle..if u can do both u are in advanced. And i am in advanced along with mathan. Swim PE rawkz. I get to learn lifeguard skills and waterpolo. And i get to see hot girls in swimsuits. How cool is that..haha. Noticed most of the girls are in beginners. Guess most girls in AC are super shy when it comes to swimming lessons..can see them blushing..haha.

Met anthony yesterday. He finally came over to my place in the west. We played tennis at my place...chowed down at the japanese cafe in ACJC..showed him around AC..played AOE..watched anime..played chess..and i finally gave him his bdae gift even though his bdae is on 23rd jan. He is gonna stay in Singapore till the end of Feb. Gonna miss him when he leaves and hope he returns to singapore soon.

ARGH monday is coming soon..damn..monday blues setting in..GP essay is calling too...argh..S paper tutorial tmr !!! Vectors suck !!! Gtg do hw...niteZ.

First week of 2006

2006-01-09T04:20:00.000-08:00

Super tiring week it has been. Cousin is in ACJC..busy with orientation, while i am in ACJC...busy with piles of homework, e-learning, cca...etc. Rather rush for the first week of school but what can u expect from a JC2 student. Tough times lie ahead..but gonna brace myself and face them like a man. Sounds weird but still.

Saturday was the busiest day of the week. There i was on friday chanting TGIF. And out of nowhere i had 4 plans to attend to on saturday. How utterly wonderful and what a nice way to enjoy my weekend. But at least it was well spent. First up was TK cca recruitment day. Thx to my junior who told me that on the night before...but all was good. Brought my chess set and saw teachers, juniors, and ppl from my batch whom i dont really like and by mentioning their names in my blog would be degrading it. Chess club seems to be picking up by enrolling more ppl..girls too! Haha how rare. The chess standard has improved too...glad to know that. TK has become more vibrant since my last visit. Now they are renovating the general office...it has become such a big office...how envious.

Had to go to katong shopping centre to run errands and buy anthony's gift !!! Errands were draggy..but finding anthony's gift was even worse. Went to comic connection and wanted to buy a poster but realised that they stopped selling. So i settled for buying a set of metal items. A cool satanic looking necklace ( bought one for myself ), a blade and a ring.

Then went over to priya's place to group study with mathan and her. Wasnt really productive..honestly speaking..its a 5 day week...we students are not machines...studying on weekends are out of the question for yours truly coz i feel weekends are times for relaxation. Even if its A lvl year and ppl say that my foundation for J1 topics is there. We need a break. Forcing ourselves to study is totally urgh. Being an angsty teen about studying. So we slacked at her place and chatted about fun times and how the twins are doing in VJ. Seems that they dun really like it. Well they always have the option of getting out after first 3 months so we see how it goes. Kinda sad considering that i wont be meeting my TK gang that often anymore due to certain constraints. Face up to reality danver.

Golf lessons was at night. Now i am beginning to like golf. Like mathan said..once i got the hang of it..i will grow to like it. How true. Chelliah is a great coach and i have my cousins to accompany me throughout the course. My body ACHES. Arm, waist, back, neck, shoulder, abdomen, torso..urggghhhh.

Sunday was my grandma's bdae. Buffet lunch at holiday inn atrium hotel. Wonderful spread of food. Surprisingly, there is a wider variety of food now as compared to the past. I love turkey..and the prata was good too. Meesiam was one of the best and loads of other delicacies. Dessert was the best with log cakes, ice cream and tarts. What was missing was alcohol. haha...

Chinese new year is coming. But before that..memoirs of a geisha and celebration of anthony's bdae. Great plans coming up and strive on towards success everyone. Peace out.

Happy New Year.

2005-12-31T23:40:00.000-08:00

Happy new year everyone !!! Yes the year 2006 has finally arrived and everyone is getting psyched up for the As..except for yours truly still slacking away at home...but honestly speaking..2005 has been a bittersweet year..my original opinion was 2005 was a f**ked up year..but after much consideration..it was a bittersweet one.

Sweet parts: Meridian days. Meeting new friends like priya, avni, deepan, class of 05S203, meeting up with old MBS friends..going to Nallu's, Brian's, Mathan's places...Valentines day was fun...Orientation...hanging out with the TK gang...Making a GD movie...celebrating bdaes...beating nallu up...playing daidee and soccer...POOL...watching movies..esp 40 year old virgin...christmas party...loads more...

Bitter parts: Studying for promos...lucien and jeremy fights...the twin's departure...anthony's departure...suhendra's departure...the first 3 months in AC...devotions during assembly...and loads more...

Now my life aint that bad...Made loads of new friends in AC...but i still miss meridian though...got used to the devotions during assembly...the twins and anthony are back! But anthony would be leaving again after chinese new year...cleared things up with lucien but jeremy still sucks...

Memoirs of a Geisha would be the first movie i am gonna watch in the year 2006.

The new years party was fantastic. My relatives invited me at around 9pm to go for a Shangri La party yesterday, and the party starts at 9.30pm. How last minute..but upon arrival...the place was awesome. Imagine pillars engulfed in golden lights..the surrounding shrouded with mist...disco lights driving the mind crazy...alcohol, oysters and ramen were served...ppl dressed in smart casual outfits...the cigarette smoke kinda sucked...the band face2face kinda sucked too but the female lead singer was freaking hot. Tried champagne and whiskey...champagne tasted like beer and whiskey sucked...cant believe ppl actually drink it...went wild on the dancefloor and countdowned to the new year with the band...reached home at 3am..haha.

Year 2006...here i come.

Christmas Day.

2005-12-25T07:39:00.000-08:00

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...10 painful slaps...9 vicious stab wounds...8 backhind kicks...7 mind-numbing punches...6 kisses from a gay...5 piercing pinches...4 unbearable bites...3 slashes to the back...2 eye gouges...and 1 hard low blowwwwww... Christmas is here and my true love is so cruel..haha jk.

Christmas is here. Went to parkway to buy merci chocs for a certain someone..haha..and went to priya's place. Met the twins, nallu, mathan, nithya and priya. Nallu brought his monopoly once again and we really wanted to throw his monopoly down the floor...ahhh but nvm...Met priya's cousins too..they are friendly ppl. We sat and chatted a bit and played some daidee..but it got kinda sian so i talked to nithya about stuff...and that got kinda sian too so we played scrabble with priya's mom. They started the monopoly marathon...twins, nallu, mathan, rohan ( Spelling? ), anan and deepan played...linhao zijian and brian were playing cards still...priya was being a banker and the 3 of us played scrabble..

Scrabble is really fun. Reminds me of the times when i use to play with my mom and my aunt in US. Too bad we dun do that anymore..haha but it was cool playing it again. After scrabble, we decided to eat dinner and the monopoly dudes were busy auctioning their wateva...and they adjourned their auction. The food was great. First time i tasted mutton. A christmas evening with my friends...simply heaven. And as usual nallu anan and i were jacking on another..haha and the rest were eating and watching princess dairies..

Another round of monopoly began and got kinda sian so decided to play cards again but that got sian too..so i just sat down and chatted with priya. Then we went home. Kinda abrupt right..but it was majority's decision. But everyone lives in the east except for me..and i didnt want to impose on priya's parents..felt so paiseh but grateful too...otherwise i would be watching the opera singers performing near priya's block...

First time i celebrated christmas in my whole life and it was an awesome experience. Wanna thank priya for being a good host and wanna thank the TK gang for keeping my company. Thanks a bunch guys.

Year end party is next and we are gonna rock the house down..( hopefully we dun coz its my place. ) Wallace and Gromit here we come.

Adam and Christmas Eve.

2005-12-24T04:45:00.000-08:00

[Adam and Christmas Eve]

Today is Christmas eve. Everyone basking in joy as they spend their day with their loved ones...haha including me. Met Xueming and Eric at Victoria concert hall for a special christmas performance put together by Xueming's church members. Awesome performance and wonderful experience in victoria concert hall ( first time there ). Carolling and sermon accompanied the performance..and there was some preaching and prayer..I saw someone collapse on the floor when ppl prayed for her..it was kinda freaky..but Xueming said it was a normal reaction when interacting with God..so i was wondering what will happen to me when i received that treatment..haha..would love to try it but not now..

Ate dinner at Boat Quay..first time eating there too..yes i am deprived..sze chuan chicken..beancurd and stir fried vege..mmm..haha. Chatted a bit and met new friends such as Xiangshan and Mingzhu. Then went home. Kinda short celebration but it was still great. AC friends rawk.

Tmr would be better..i hope..celebrations at priya's place. Haha i am sure it would be fun. Merry christmas one and all. Rudolph the red nose reindeer and fat santa...

Anan's and Dehong's Birthday celebrations.

2005-12-23T06:24:00.000-08:00

Well we finally celebrated Dehong's belated bdae..haha sry about that man..and we celebrated Anan's bdae as well..we celebrated as a TK clique..not complete but most of us were there.

Brian's at 10am. Mathan kenneth zijian brian dehong zamir and i were there. We played a few rounds of daidee and bridge till it got kinda boring and we were just slacking and waiting for anan and nallu to come. Nallu was making loads of phone calls and talking about irrelevant stuff over the phone. Anan went there shortly and we played police and detective..kinda childish but the TK gang is kinda deprived of such games...nallu finally arrived there and we played bluff..and our grand 'VIP' went to brian's house..the great legendary linhao...but we hid from him in brian's guest room for 10mins before he discovered us..haha and we carried on while jacking nallu. Fun part came went dehong had to leave and we gave him his present..then he had to get on the mahjong table and we whacked him up..and the table collapsed !!! We were just laughing all the way while fixing the table.

Round 2. Whacking dehong on the bed was supposed to be our agenda. But plans changed when we saw nallu being the first one to whack dehong..In the end we whacked nallu up for being such an ass over the phone and he was as usual screaming like a girl and we wanted to strip him of his pants but he was on the verge of tears..so we pitied him and let him off.

Round 3. We presented anan's gift..and obviously every bdae gift has to come with a bashing...so we whacked him up on the bed..haha i pity Brian coz the room was practically thrashed..and zj has been recording the bash ups.

After all the bashing and screaming and excitement..we headed to parkway to chow down. Super hungry after arguing with nallu over the phone and beating ppl up..Played soccer at haig court after lunch..and guess wad..we played a match. Friendly match and nallu was being an ass..walking around without doing much running..showing off his 'soccer skills'..hahaha so we were jacking him during soccer too..and the best part happened..when he landed a kick to the ball..he slipped and fell on his ass..and all of us were too busy laughing while he was acting retarded in front of the camera..hahaha mean of us to laugh at him but heck..its nallu..

After soccer..went to bedok interchange and everyone went home. At night..had to receive some merit bursary from Minister Lim Hng Kiang at Dover Community Hall..Shook his hand on stage in front of ppl and received some cheque..kinda cool seeing him in person..heard loads about him in singapore and in WTO conference.

Christmas is coming !!! First time gonna celebrate christmas..busy going out tmr and the day after..Merry Christmas everyone.

Honestly. Broken promises suck.

2005-12-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh today was kinda sucky. Was anticipating sth good out of todae but it turned out to be an average day..still kinda cool considering the fact that i havent met my friends for 5 days and i am already missing them like hell..gosh..see how vulnerable i am...

Anyway.. met brian zj mathan and kenneth. 2 more was supposed to turn up..hahaa but nallu had some ics and ogl thing that he claims to have..and priya had to cash a cheque in raffles place..so yeah the 5 of us went around parkway to search for gifts for anan and dehong. Surprisingly it only took half an hour to get anan a soccer ball and dehong a franz ferdinand CD. Half an hour only..so we discussed about celebrations in KFC. Oh and we met jiahao in PP in his vj uniform with his vj friends..the rest snubbed him and i gave him attitude..this was the best part of the day and we just laughed when we walked past him. LOL so funny..cant believe he is a christian now..bet he became one just coz he thinks its cool to be one..loser..

Played pool at Classics. Well..at least my pool skills were MUCH better than the time i played with linhao. Yup..linhao beat me fair and square in lucky plaza..wasnt so lucky in a lucky plaza..den trooped over to brian's place for a feast of canned tuna and ice lemon tea..listening to music and playing cards with kenneth and zj. Thats the life..ate dinner..went to make new specs..i have always hated the optical shop since young..dun ask me y..i just hate it..

Yeah so anyway..Thats it. I forgot to buy anthony's gift !!! And christmas gifts !!! ARGH. nvm..

Oh ya forgot to blog about my cousin's bdae. He treated me to Shangri la which explains my nick on msn. Shangri La buffets are 60 bucks per head but it was heaven. Looked like charlie and the choc factory..choc fountain..a wide variety of desserts..sushi bar..salad bar..barbeque bar..alcohol bar..indian stall..chinese stall..malay stall..seafood bar..really really awesome. Sorry readers for making u drool. Haha.

SP adventure

2005-12-16T04:54:00.000-08:00

Its bored being at home nowadays..i miss my friends already but none of them are making any plans..so here i am..at home rotting and typing in my blog.. did quite a bit of math in the afternoon but gave up after like about 1.5 hours..and its freaky coz i have forgotten most of my math concepts..damn..need to put in more practice..

During the evening, decided to go for a jog and run some errands for mom. ( No pun intended. ) Surprisingly it was quite eventful and i didnt know jogging can be such a joy. Biking beats jogging anytime but jogging is still ok. Wanted to explore my neighbourhood coz its been a while since i have done that.. and i jogged to Singapore Poly and the Singtel building there wasnt as big as it seems from my place. The Singtel building was surrounded by the institution.

Being my curious self, went into SP and saw a whole new neighbourhood. The environment was never seen before. Clouds dotted the amber sky as the sun puts away his brilliant golden robe to allow shy lady moon to cast down her elegant violet gown. I gazed upon the grass of the school track and it was a wonderful sight. SP is great. It has fastfood outlets..restaurants..popular bookstore..and quite a number of hot girls even though most of them are minahs..haha..too bad i had to leave early but i am going there again tmr to meet my friends and attend a fun fair !! Yayness.

Thats it. Till tmr. NiteZ.

Kingkong

2005-12-15T01:09:00.000-08:00

Watched kingkong yesterday..and i have to tell ya..peter jackson's movies are awesome.

Went to brian's place at 10am to meet mathan zijian and linhao..played a few rounds of daidee before going over to lido to meet the twins and priya. At lido..mathan lost the tickets..haha but we found it lying on the floor..kinda careless huh..reminds me of myself during the daredevil movie when the gang deliberately took away the tickets from my bag to scare me..hahaha.. priya went there just on time and we watched the movie.

The lead actress is called jessica. Ok sth out of point but i just have to sae it. Even though i dun wanna have kids in the future..just in case i do..i have already got names for them. Rodriguez for a guy and jessica for a girl. Rodriguez sounds cool and majority of the jessicas in the world are hot. Yeah so back to kingkong. Nice scenery of New Zealand.. sad ending though..the big hairy monkey died.. haha before the movie, mathan and i were screaming big ape..and during the movie mathan was whispering stuff about surprise appearance of golem and kingkong having a nice ass...and we were rooting for lobo chan after the movie ended by screaming his name when it was shown during the credits..haha we are crazy in cinemas..even crazier with nallu around..wonder where he is...hm..

Shot pool at lucky plaza with jingyang linhao priya and mathan. I sucked. Lady luck wasnt around..and i depend on luck..ah well..ate at pastamania at cineleisure and chatted for about an hour.. it was nice just having a nice quiet chat with friends. Ironically..even linhao was good company. Seems that he has changed quite a bit and he is less rowdy..and his pool has improved so much..haha guess all his practice at home pays off huh..

Today is a boring day. Slacking at home really sucks. I would much rather hang out with friends..hope GD organises sth real soon.. group study would be a nice alternative too.

Christmas is coming! And i havent bought christmas gifts..and anthony's birthday gift !! I need to buy them really soon..ahhhhhh...

Bittersweet Day.

2005-12-14T06:33:00.000-08:00

As the title suggests..it was a bittersweet day on the 13th. Not friday the 13th..but still it was pretty bad..but got loads of good events during the day..but before i get to the 13th..let me blog about the 12th.

Costa Sands at 2.30pm. No one was there and i had to sit in some dark quiet corner listening to hanson and reading some book about blacks. Seemed kinda antisocial but i was anticipating the arrival of my OG mates for a 3day 2nite chalet. Around 4, shirlynn came with her friend YC and her mum. Checked in and wanyee came along. Couldnt recognise quite a number of my OG mates in meridian but all was cool and we had a great time catching up on the old times. I sort of became closer to my OG mates coz during the first 5 days i was some antisocial ass and didnt really mix much. Missed TK too much..haha.. Anyway back to the chalet..the 2 storey room shirlynn booked was cool except the aircon sucks. Went to Giant at parkway and met sze hwei and darianne there. Chatted with them and talked to them about meridian days.

Bought stuff and went back to the chalet where we just chatted..and i was the only guy in a bedroom with 5 other girls..seems lucky but not so much. Chatted about JC life..promos..meridian life in particular and sze hwei and darianne find nallu cool !!! Hahaha but its awesome..i should be proud of my friend.. just that i would have never expected it..he would be delighted to know that ppl are wary of his existence. Went to macs and ate..saw susan, zhenhong and kangzhuang for 5 sec before i left.

Day 2. Waited for priya for 45 mins. 45 mins. 45mins. Haha and we went to the chalet to find out that they are going to parkway to chow down when priya just came from there.. upon arrival at parkway..priya and i sort of ditched the rest coz they had no activities planned and we decided to watch pride and prejudice. Keira Knightley !! Who cares about the male lead..hahaha..anyway we came up with a lame excuse of going back to priya's place to get ASTHMA medicine. Funny. Boarded 4 36 buses. Fun huh..first went to EW at suntec and then GV at marina. Both had no P&P. So we had to watch it at PS. But it was an awesome romantic movie...even though the british accent was kinda strong during the first part and i couldnt figure out a single thing they were talking.. but keira knightley was sooooooooooo sweet. Officially make her my fav. actress. No lust scenes throughout the movie..so it was pure innocent love. This was the sweet part of the bittersweet day.

Went back to the chalet after the movie and i got water splashed on my pants twice coz cars were zooming past water puddles on the road. Cool huh.. Ate steamboat at the chalet with the rest of the OG. It taste good too..haha love the soup. After that..wanted to see karhian at his anglican chalet but he wasnt there..so walked along the beach with priya..

Had a nice long chat with her even though i think i bored her throughout the whole thing. But it was great for me coz its been a long time since we had that kind of long chats ever since we went to different JCs. We shared a couple of secrets. I never expected myself to be able to pluck up the courage to admit to her how i felt when she got steady with sasi. I have always thought it would be my personal secret for life..considering the fact that blurting it out could have affected our friendship. At that moment along the beach..i was kinda encouraging her and decided to just sae it. But i felt so much better after telling her my true feelings instead of putting up facades and brave fronts. I think she felt bad..i think..but everything's cool now. Just gonna cherish the friendship i have with her even more than before.

Finally saw karhian and chatted with priya, him, susan and kangzhuang. Meridian rawkz..gonna support them for next year's soccer match against vjc. Sorry victorians. Had 5 missed calls from my dad and he got kinda pissed..took a cab to priya's place and waited for my dad like a fool. Felt really bad but everything was fine when i was in his car. What a forgiving dad i have..haha.

Thats it. Sorry readers for boring u guys. NiteZ. Keira Knightley rawkZ.

Goals

2005-12-11T02:19:00.000-08:00

Inspired by a certain blog in the world wide web..i guess the blogger should know who he/she is..hahaha..ok so here are my goals...not that they interest readers anyway but i will just write them down.

[Goals before the beginning of next year]
- Master math all over again.
- Go to the gym 3 times a week.
- Buy cross-trainer shoes.
- Watch pride and prejudice to see keira knightley.
- Pair of specs.
- Clean room.
- Study econs via e-learning.
- Play pool.
- Buying Christmas gifts.
- Attend merit bursary function.
- Hang out with jessie and steph.
- Christmas celebrations on 23rd at victoria concert hall.
- Christmas celebrations with friends.
- Christmas celebrations with relatives.

[Goals before end of next year]
- Study real hard for prelims and As.
- Scholarship.
- Do well in 2 S papers.
- Stretch my potential in tennis, badminton and chess.
- Maybe sign up for bintan trip.
- Another round of industrial attachment.
- Secure friendships with new AC friends.
- Appear good on grad nite.
- Give private tuition after As.
- Prepare body for NS.
- CLUBBING.
- Hanging out with friends is a definite must.
- Watch M18 movies ( Even though i am already watching them. )

[Goals before i turn 30]
- Complete bachelor of medicine course.
- Serve NS as medical officer.
- Further degree of medicine to phD.
- Girlfriend.
- Married to a sweet girl? ( Not the young ones. )
- NO children. ( Unless my wife insists. )
- Get a car.
- Hang out with friends. Hopefully.

Simple goals. But gonna strive to achieve them. Main objective: Express my gratitude to my parents by giving them money and caring for them more. Thats it.

Conclusion of Eddie's Bastard

2005-12-05T08:05:00.000-08:00

Well i have finally finished reading Eddie's Bastard by William Kowalski..excellent novel..however i wish there is a continuation coz the ending was like left hanging..ah well..can always hope..absolutely astounding..a book written with such elegance, maturity and humour it is difficult to believe that the author is only 28 years old. Wickedly funny and genuinely moving..i would recommend it to book lovers.

[Quotes from the book]

Universal signs, those clues to our destinies, are everywhere. It is up to us whether or not we follow them - but they are there nonetheless.

The extent of a man's greatness is determined by his ability to follow his proper direction. We create our own destinies, and yet we do not. We forge a new path as we proceed, and yet the path already exists beforehand, though it is not always well marked. This is the paradox of life; and a paradox is not a riddle to be solved, but a place to dwell in, if only for a brief time.

Have no fear of anger, for then anger has no power over you. Anger is a tool. Wield it, but use it wisely, never rashly. That is the way to turn it to one's advantage; that is the way to keep it from taking over Life. That is the way of a Celtic warrior.

I must never allow myself to forget that i live like a king because millions of others lived like animals. To enslave a person is to rob them of their dignity, their rights, their past and future. I am tormented by nightmares, and one nightmare in particular. Even though it was not I who traded decency for gold, I still reap the benefits of the transaction. But as a result, I have to pay the price of suffering under the Rory's curse.

We humans are a lot of monkeys running hither and thither, living in fancy cages of our own devising and slowly inventing the means to destroy ourselves. Before us also came a long line of monkeys, who through no grandiose intentions, but through the simple ability to procreate - or the inability not to - gave rise to us. For the most part they have been a depraved, murderous, hateful group, stealing land from other monkeys and wiping out other monkey tribes. Some of us modern monkeys seem to think much of our ancestors, and are proud to trace our monkeyhood back several generations, perhaps even as far as those original murdering monkeys, the Europeans. But I myself see little in our species' history of which to be proud. What? World Wars? It is far too late to prevent our worst errors as humans. Even if they havent been committed yet, the stage has already been set...Some mistakes are inevitable...

NiteZ

Arrival and departure of Anthony Gunawan.

2005-12-02T04:49:00.000-08:00

Well..Anthony has left for indonesia..probably celebrating christmas with his family there..haha..and i have noticed that i havent blogged about him ever since he has arrived in singapore..guess i was too busy hanging out with him to even bother blogging..ah well..here is the post dedicated to my good friend..anthony gunawan.

Arrived in singapore at 12 midnight on 27th dec...and i met him at 9am on 27th dec..haha but it was really cool seeing him again since august..played tennis in the morning and it was a refreshing experience..its been a long while since i have last played with him too..but fatigue got the better of us..and in the end we only played for 1 hour...

We went to the airport to meet his austrialian friends who were also from indonesia and transitting in singapore..they were christianto and danny..my 2 new friends..haha even though i barely knew them and they were speaking in indo language more often than english..they had great personalities and we became good friends real quick. Danny was from RI while christianto was from St Gabriels..both study in UNSW and are good friends with anthony..felt kinda relieved coz i thought anthony would feel lonely there considering that most of friends are in singapore...Danny plans to take chemical engineering while christianto plans to take civil engineering..and he is gonna be anthony's classmate next year..cool..

We went to sunshine plaza in bugis with anthony's sis to look at some japanese anime and other stuff..ate at junction 8 too..and we went to sim lim coz christianto wanted to buy a T3 camera..but we met this ass of a salesperson who was giving us attitude instead of providing efficient service..but in the end he bought his camera..

Met anthony 3 times in a span of a week..coz he was only staying for a week..yesterday was the last time i saw him..went to his house at 6 in the evening coz i was hanging out at brian's house in the early afternoon..played tennis with him and christianto coz danny left for indo already..and ate dinner at a foodcourt..i mentioned to him about the UNSW in singapore and he said he would consider transferring..hope he transfers..haha..but it was all cool.

Anthony..i am expecting u to come back to singapore next year..as u promised..haha see ya in Jan.

Boring day today.

NiteZ.

GD movie

2005-11-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

Lol actually the release of [The Return of the Dog] was about 2 weeks ago..but forgot to blog about it..but now i am like totally crazy about it coz its really really funny..directed and produced by members of the gambling den..starring the main actor..Linhao represented by a black dog..hahaha know its mean to make a movie to stab him but he has done worse to us..so this movie was made for our self amusement..

Loads of funny scenes which i wont elaborate much here..basically it just shows linhao emerging from a rubbish bin in TK ..which shows the return of the dog..adapted from the theme of starwars..and the movie illustrates his history in TK and when hanging out with us..the movie then goes on to show how we phase him out from our group and his pathetic characteristics..haha and our comments about him too..

I feel that the movie is well done..but there is still much room for improvement..the next movie coming out is [The Attack of the Dog]..where we will show scenes of him unleashing his wrath..it would be filled with vulgarities..obscenities..sexual content..racism..yeah a lot of negative stuff...the current movie has loads of them too..but the next one is gonna be more..haha.

Some quotes from the movie.

Andreas the fortune teller: Doggie dun be too sad..u are gonna live in a one-room flat !!!
Linhao: WTF !!! U gonna die ah !!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

and loads more..if u wanna find out about the movie..contact us at 1800-911-DOGGIE or just contact the GD members. And we will see whether u are worthy to watch the movie..hahahaha..till then..niteZ.

P.S. Linhao SUCKS.

Dr. KC Ong

2005-11-25T21:00:00.000-08:00

Today was the final final final day for industrial attachment..kinda strange considering the fact that i mentioned that wed was the last day..Dr. Adrian recommended us to Dr. KC Ong..a respiratory specialist. When i first heard his name..i thought it was Cassie Ong..a female doctor..but to my surprise the doctor is male..but anyway the misunderstanding got cleared up.

Upon entering his clinic..i saw him. Cheerful and looks kinda young..even though he is 2 years older than Dr. Adrian..real friendly too but his staff are not..they were too busy to talk to us..so i kinda miss Dr. Adrian's clinic where i felt at home..

Dr. Ong was a pure AC breed..AC all the way..kinda cool... most of the time he was talking to us coz he had very few patients seeing him todae..he only saw 2 patients..he tried to discourage us from being a doctor and his reasons were kinda convincing..the stress..the lack of time with family..cannot make many friends..the politics in the public sector..the difficulties surviving in the private sector..etc..

But he did mention some benefits..

Went back to the old clinic after that..to see everyone..esp jessica..oops..haha couldnt resist but miss her the most..ok gonna control my hormones and stop thinking about her ..argh its so hard..damn..

NiteZ.

Wisening up.

2005-11-24T23:06:00.000-08:00

Nth much happened todae..but i was glad that i am finally able to unwind and spend some quality time with friends. Went to parkway at 12pm to meet mathan kenneth brian zamir zakir and zj..the 7 of us played pool and we saw this bunch of ncc guys from TK.. and we were rather put off by their appearance..obviously the twins didnt want them to know that they are back from ukraine..all of us hate them..but what the heck..went to andreas house after that to play some stuff and watch some videos..ate KFC with brian and zj and thats it.

But more importantly..i have been wisening up over the past few days..those days during the industrial attachment have really thrown me back to harsh reality..i have always thought that life is ever so simple..just happiness..and few moments of rage and anguish..but the pain i am experiencing now due to exams are nth..they are considered nth..and to me it was such a big deal..the working life is horrible..super tedious..i have only undergone 3 days of it and i couldnt stand it..and i aspire to be a doctor too..all i can do now is give everything my best and never give up no matter how hard the going is. Life IS a bed of roses..its full of thorns and flowers.

I am going to work in another clinic in mount E tmr. Even though i miss the previous clinic..i still have to go on with my life..no point missing them so much..amazing what 3 days can do to a person like me..how it has drastically changed my life..practically a turning point for me. Gonna be a more disciplined person and complain less in life.

Quotes from the book i am reading [ Eddie's Bastard ]

Fear is a great obstacle to many things, but once it is removed, one can see clearly what needs to be done. There comes a time in every man's life when his worst fears are shown by the cold light of reason to be mere shadows cast by insignificant objects. When this time comes, one may either grow angry over it, or shrug one's shoulders and keep on. This is the true test of adulthood, for he who is resentful of the events which have shaped him has not yet assumed control of his own destiny.

Men are fond of blaming their wars on women. Poor Helen suffers the blame for the siege of Troy, as if she asked to be kidnapped and then rescued. But it is not the fault of women that men go to war against each other. It is the fault of men for being warlike in the first place.

Adios.

Last day of industrial attachment

2005-11-23T23:00:00.000-08:00

[3rd and final day]
Today was the last day of the IAP...reached there at 9 even though i was supposed to meet there at 11 coz my dad had to work early..and i got to get a lift from him..so yeah..started reading a book which i have already read..but it is a really good novel..titled 'Eddie's Bastard'. Ok totally out of point...Dr. Adrian went back to the clinic around noon after a surgery to unblock the sinus of a lady...nth much todae..just got to observe more patients..oh but there was this hot american patient..same age as me and has the same bdae as the twins..hahaha but she is really pretty..from american school too..her name is alexandra marie kirwin..cool name..ok out of point once again..

Got to know my colleagues better even though it was the last day...teresa is an awesome translator who can speak english chinese malay indonesian japanese cantonese and hokkien..and i am sure she can speak some more languages..respect her ability to do so..and she is uber friendly too..always bringing home cooked food and sharing with us..haha i love her salad and japanese food..gonna miss them..maybe can get to eat them during my next visit..

Jessica..the jeanette aw look alike..found out that she was from a neighbourhood sch and studied nursing in nanyang poly..she said she regretted not studying harder during her childhood..but i felt that its already very good that she graduated with a nursing diploma..furthermore she is married and kinda happy with her job ? Uber friendly too..very caring and loves children..paedo..haha always pinching their cheeks..only the adorable obedient ones though..haha..gonna miss her coz she was the best friend i made during the 3 days..

Joanna knows how to handle children..and i think she is in charge of handling equipment with jessica and handles the medicine counter too..very friendly and caring..most nurses are like that i guess..she was also the one who showed me the way to the operating theatre and got to see her and Dr. Adrian in action in the OT..awesome..

Joanne is in charge of answering phonecalls..payment issues and registration of patients..she handles their files too..super busy woman..iron lady too..she can work for long hours without eating..salute to her..dun really know her coz we rarely got to chat..but she is really friendly towards me too...haha helped her carry the water container todae for the water dispensing machine..

Dr. Adrian is fantastic..he deserves the most credit..the iron man of the clinic..he has 9 freaking CERTS on his wall..all from various universities from US london and singapore..i got a shock la..damn he is a real specialist in ENT And snoring..furthermore..he gave us tips on how to enter med sch..and recommended us to his doc friends for future industrial attachments..real friendly even though he cant really handle kids..my utmost respect for him coz he practically has to work 24/7.. sometimes without eating..i aspire to be a great doctor just like him..but not in ENT though..haha..salutations.

The day ended..Elizabeth got a check up too coz she has a ENT problem too..said goodbye to everyone and i dun think they will miss me but i will miss them..haha..gonna send them a thank u and christmas card.. :)

Everything is back to normal from tmr onwards. Hanging out tmr..cant wait ! NiteZ.

Industrial Attachment

2005-11-22T21:10:00.000-08:00

[Industrial Attachment]

Industrial attachment is really cool..got to meet doctors and HOT nurses..sorry for the emphasis but some of them are really hot..and the best thing is i got to make friends with them !!! And get to work with them and the doc..it is a really awesome experience..a total eye opener...hahaha

[Day 1]
Met my partner from AC at the ENT and snoring centre..had to wait for Dr. Adrian to arrive before we can introduce ourselves to the rest of the staff..haha the clinic is a private one in Mount Elizabeth and it was really well furnished...loads of expensive high tech equipment...plasma screen TV for patients to enjoy..the air con is too freaking cold!!! My hands were freezing most of the time..but when the doc finally came..both of us were introduced to the nurses there..joanna, teresa, joanne and jessica. When i first saw jessica..i thought she was jeanette aw coz of the striking resemblence...it was uncanny...but its just that she looked really like the actress..haha..the nurses were really friendly..the doctor was giving us advice on the first day regarding medical school and i benefited from it..aspire to be a doctor i hope...we observed how Dr Adrian treated patients and it was really tiring..being a doctor is freaking exhausting..yet very noble...sacrificing one's happiness for the sake of others...ahh..

I have learnt the various kinds of diseases and complications related to ENT..and how snoring can be detrimental to the body..surprisingly i didnt learn this in bio..only learnt the eye...learnt about the equipment used to examine patients and to understand their conditions...the nasoendoscopy equipment was really cool...one tiny microscope dangling on a wire..and its inserted into the nose via the nostrils..and it can reach deep inside..and i get to see whats inside the body on TV !! Like travelling in someone's nose in a small capsule...hahaha..awesome..got to meet rich billionaires and famous ppl too..but cant disclose their identities due to patients' confidentiality.

But the best part was i got to make friends with hot nurses !!! Including the jeanette aw look alike...hahaha but too bad she is married and older than me..jkjk..one of the nurses is a translator for the doctor !! How cool is that..

[Day 2]
Reached the OPERATING THEATRE at 8am..omg i love it..i got to wear a surgeon's gown and cap and mask and everything..the whole suit..and i get to enter an operating room...which was only for authorised personel... Got to witness 2 whole operations..Dr Adrian had to remove tonsils from a small boy and remove excess tissue from a small girl's nose..the machines were extraordinary..totally the same as what u see in ER..hahaha but up close! The nurses were aiding the doc while he was sawing up pieces of human meat..kinda gory..definitely not for the faint hearted..well at least the blood didnt like splurt everywhere..it got sucked by some suction tube..haha..

Got to see more patients at the clinic..and got to visit patients in wards too..uber cool..but super tiring..furthermore..today was a rainy day...argh my hands were about to drop off due to frostbite...freaking cold..but the nurses warmed up my day..hahahaha..super tiring..

Tmr is the last day for industrial attachment..honestly speaking..even though sometimes i dread work and find it super tiring..but i am gonna miss Dr Adrian and his nurses..gonna miss working with them..but he said that i am welcomed anytime to observe them work..see how la..haha..he also wanted to recommend me to observe GP and other specialists..also see first...ah well..tmr is gonna be a sad day...cant bear to sae farewell..hope i can stay in touch with them.

Everything is going to be back to normal on thursday..gonna hang out with my friends..finally..Till then...niteZ.

Tennis RawkZ

2005-11-20T10:55:00.000-08:00

[Tennis RawkZ]

Nothing much today..just played tennis with AC classmates..haha it was raining in the morning and i was like damn..i was so looking forward to tennis..but after a while it stopped so all was good once again...

Went to rachel's place to play tennis..at hume park 1...met edwin, jason and jamie and we played a few rounds of tennis..it was really awesome playing considering the fact that i have been too busy mugging for exams to even make time to play tennis..so my stamina wasnt that great either...didnt play my best too..haha but everything will change now that the holidays are here and anthony is coming back..my cousin has finished his Os too..so its gonna be tennis marathon..but it was a nice experience playing tennis with my AC classmates..they are really good...as expected from rich ppl who can get tennis lessons..oh and my serve is getting better !!! Anthony watch out..now i can serve better..hahahaha..surprisingly rachel was friendly towards me..thought she has a grudge against me during sch days..but nvm at least now we can be considered friends ? haha hopefully...

Came home..feeling very sleepy..tennis rawkZ. Argh need to work in mount elizabeth hospital tmr...do some admin work and check on patients..this is roughly what my future job will be ...hahaha i hope..but it will be a nice experience ..i hope..yes i am hoping for everything to go smoothly...oh dear heavenly father..plz bless me during my industrial attachment course..i pray that u can give me the courage and strength to perservere on without giving up. I will cherish this opportunity that u have presented before me. In Jesus name i pray..Amen..and i have no idea y i said that since i am not christian...guess its AC's influence huh..Doesnt matter..Buddhism rawkZ...out of point..

NiteZ everyone..the world awaits..haha and thx priya for mentioning my in ur blog..its really an honour. Maybe one day i will reflect on my life and thank my friends for everything...till then..NiteZ.

Fleur Delacour, the french damsel

2005-11-18T21:01:00.000-08:00

[Fleur Delacour, the french damsel]

Omg..forgot to blog about her..the french damsel in harry potter and the great balls of fire..she is freaking freaking hot !! No surprise..most french ladies are hot..but for her age..omg..y cant girls in singapore look like her...

Did research on her ..her real name is Clemence Poesy..unique name..during the movie she was really lady like..as elegant as a swan as she made her entrance known to others with her counterparts... her outfit was baby blue..with a rather queer-shaped hat which looked cute on her..her face is the most striking..flawless skins..dimples..a VERY pretty smile...and dazzling brown eyes...perfect girl..haha..and the best part of the movie was seeing her in a swimsuit !!! Omg i almost died when i saw her...but she is nth compared to jessica alba in a bikini..haha..but for her age....it was just splendid..sheer beauty..ahh..

According to priya..cedric is hot..a lot of girls find her hot..and find victor krum macho..and she mentioned some guy next to her was wanking when fleur was introduced..i mean which sane guy wouldnt do that...hahahaha jkjk..not all guys are like that..most ogle at the sight of hot girls but some respect them and admire their beauty..not all guys have the maturity to do so unfortunately..haha

Fleur is hot. Sizzling hot.

NiteZ.

Harry Potty & the great BALLS of fire.

2005-11-17T23:05:00.000-08:00

[Harry Potty & the great BALLS of fire]

Awesome outing with the GD..its been a long time since we have hung out and watched a big hit movie together..the last one was star wars episode 3 and the twins were still in ukraine..BUT today was different..we watched harry potter and the goblet of fire..with the twins !!! Cool huh..

Started the day by going to sch !!! Hahaha had to attend my last OCIP sarawak meeting even though they have cancelled the trip..was so looking forward to it..but now at least i can spend more time with friends..less stress..dun have to undergo harsh labour..and most importantly..i can see anthony again !!! Tennis marathon eh..hahaha..but it was a pity..all the preparations gone to waste..at least i got to know samantha..and loads of new friends...got to learn malay and first aid too..uber cool.

Econs lesson was up next after the meeting..gruelling 2 hours..supposed to be 3 hours session but the first hour was taken up by my meeting..love my new teacher..thought she was a fierce and scary teacher coz she is the HOD for econs..but she proved me wrong..she is indeed a kind teacher who loves to joke and she knows her econs stuff..hope she can guide me well to my A for econs..hahaha..but gonna put in effort too..loads of it..

Went to city hall to meet nallu there..it was funny coz i was calling him at bouna vista MRT and he was at pasir ris MRT..then we challenged each other..see hu can reach city hall first..lame but i was bored..haha in the end i won coz there were fewer stations to city hall than from pasir ris..both of us made our way to lido to meet zj..played a few rounds of daidee..the rest of GD came from brian's house..mathan zamir zakir brian and andreas..ate KFC AGAIN !!! But heck..and on to the main event..the 2.5 hour movie of harry potter..we saw loads of crazy fans..in the theatre..mathan nallu and i were screaming before the movie started..we screamed during those moments of silence..then when i screamed just before it started...other ppl from behind screamed too..hahaha avid fans...

The movie was cool..love the effects..and there were hot girls ...and one of them was in a swimsuit..sizzling hot...like the storyline too..loads of twists..but the movie was kinda dark..with the return of voldemort and stuff..deatheaters !! The dark lord has risen..

After the movie..the guys came over to my place..at 5.30..lol..played halo 2 at my place..watched some lame videos..played cards and just chatted about the old times...now that the twins are staying in singapore for good..this experience has taught me to treasure my friends much more..gonna cherish those friendships i made with them..especially GD..all of us from TK have gone throught thick and thin and will remain friends forever.

Peace out. NiteZ.

Awesome Celebration

2005-11-14T10:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i had an awesome celebration..coz..it was the end of PW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel liberated..i feel unshackled...i am free from all forms of torture !!!! Coz PW is out of my life forever !!!! Muahahaha i can burn my PW files !

OP was great..i know i did great... the QnA was kinda tough..but i managed to survive that..what the heck yeah..PW is over !!! And since the twins are in Singapore now..if they join a JC next year..they will know exactly how everyone else have experienced doing PW...it will be a wonderful experience..ahem ahem...good luck to them..haha

After OP..went to michelle's grandma's house for a class BBQ..think it was Allsworth Park..more than half of the class went so it was great..had fun making fires...cooking stuff over the grill...the otahs were kinda runny..but the grilled chicken was great..coz i cooked it..hahaha..the pork ribs were superb too..then edwin played his guitar..victoria and everyone else started to sing christian songs..being an AC students..i have been exposed to these kind of songs so i can more or less know the lyrics..so i sang along too..and weird enough it was fun..hahaha..played poker cards too !! Daidee and bridge...then the guys wanna push leonard into the pool but decided against it coz the security guard was walking around..lol..so they pushed him into the girls toilet..and the girls were like screaming..then they opened the guy's toilet door when jason was peeing...omg...hahaha

Had a fun time..went home and stayed online till 1am plus thx to a cheena pok called nurul janah..hahaha even had a conversation with her in chinese..how lame is that...all the best to her for her results today...:)

CyaZ.

The arrival of the twins

2005-11-12T22:40:00.000-08:00

[Arrival of the twins]

OMG the twins are in Singapore !!! OMG OMG OMG i didnt expect to see them so soon..it was just all too sudden..like i was still in deep slumber and dreaming away..it was freaky but yet a very nice surprise..

Woke up at 8pm..thought its gonna be a rough day coz its filled with PW and travelling from east to west on MRT..had to paint some cardboard early in the morning too..damn..but i wanted to go to the east to play street soccer with my TK gang even though i suck in it...so made my way down there..and when i arrived..no one was there...only after a while i saw mathan...and both of us went to the tables at the void deck nearby..and we saw brian, kenneth and 2 figures wearing very familiar black shirts...and to our surprise it was the TWINS !! I was totally freaked out..was i dreaming ? was i not dreaming ? Mathan was laughing away..and we chatted a bit..poked them a bit to make sure they were real..they were real...omg..nice surprise..when anan came he was shocked too..and when nallu finally came..he like almost no reaction..hahaha.

Played soccer..then played lan at bedok..and had to leave early coz i need to meet my team mates in the WEST for bloody PW..dun wanna talk about what happened in the afternoon...Gonna get it over and done with.

CyaZ

Biology Olympiad

2005-11-10T15:46:00.000-08:00

[ Biology Olympiad ]

Do not. I repeat do not. Do not go for any olympiads unless u have your brian is filled with knowledge regarding the particular subject and u have tons of stamina. Yesterday i had to sit for a 5 hour exam.

At first, when i realised it was an all MCQ test..i was delighted coz i thought it was gonna be easy..Reached NTU at around 1pm..saw my MJ friends !!! Miss them so much..and i saw my bio lecturer in MJ..haha she still has that manly deep voice of hers...but it was really cool seeing all of them again...but the bad news was i had to do 200 MCQ. Each MCQ was like whoa..major difficulty answering them..there was this question..when did dinosaurs become extinct..and i was thinking..was it 65 million years or 200 million years..that was only one MCQ..

After the whole torment..went to jurong point with my MJ friends to walk around...chatted and ate dinner..End of day..

Not really in the mood to blog coz i have not experienced anything fun yet..Brian and mathan came over to my house for a while todae..coz they had to go to sch for PW..tmr i am going to hang out with my friends..gonna hang out hang out hang out..heck PW and all that crap..PW sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks!!!

CyaZ.

Walk of flashbacks

2005-11-09T04:45:00.000-08:00

Boring day..no one can guess what i did todae coz they will never expect it..i did my maths homework..aint that cool..haha i was too bored..so decided to catch up on some math..it may seem nerdy but we all have to do it someday...practised my OP speech ONCE today..only once..but i think i can present it within 5min..at the most i would exceed a bit due to pauses in between..i dun really care anymore la..for the first time i am frustrated yet excited that OP is coming..signalling the end of PW forever and total freedom awaits..mixed emotions..haii..

Went to work out at the gym for a while..and the best part of today was the walk around my condo after my workout..it was extremely dark and gloomy..as the sun was hidden amongst the dark rainclouds..the entire sky was a patch of grey..and it started to drizzle..i was listening to a song i heard over the radio..photographs by nickelback..perfect ambience to do some self reflection and recollection of memories..

Walked all around the condo..and as i walked..i thought of those fond memories i had with my family..with my friends..with everyone..and those memories when i had to say goodbye to some of them..recently i have to sae goodbye to someone..and the song's lyrics..<> the wind grew stronger and the drizzle continued..

Went to the swings and swinged a bit..haha sounds weird but the feeling was incredible..as i swayed back and forth..it was so relaxing..i had no worries..no troubles..they were all washed away..the drizzle cleansed the filth within me..the wind blew my problems away..the swings were just there to bring me happiness..deprived childhood..but it was fun..

Friends..are they permanent or temporary..some are friends for life..but some would just wander off ..far away from ya..and soon would be forgotten..due to many factors in life..guess thats life huh..harsh reality...

Anyway self reflection was cool..gonna do it more often..haha..till next time..niteZ.

Priya's Birthday

2005-11-08T23:46:00.000-08:00

Total opposite from yesterday..really really enjoyed myself today even though it wasnt my birthday!! Hahaha it was priya's bdae today..and it was absolutely fantastic..one of the major events which i will be etched in my memories for life...

Went to Mathan's house at 12pm..but everyone knows that Danver's sense of direction is really bad..so i went to block 638..realized it was kenneth's block..then went to the 13th floor of block 640..realized that wasnt mathan's block..finally arrived at block 641..hahaha and i was the freaking first guest there !! My house was 14 mrt stations away and i was the first...muahahaha big achievement..ok anyway since mathan and i were like bored..we watched animals acting spastic on american's funniest animals..and reminded ourselves of linhao..

Kenneth came and we played daidee..then priya nithya sasi and anan came..and we played daidee and bridge and magic tricks..really cool..its been a long time since i have last seen anan..really cool meeting him again...then nallu came with a rectangle bag !!! Inside it was a childish monopoly game with some world cup design on it..then i was like OMG..they are gonna play that game for 3 plus hours..so decided to back out with mathan priya and nithya..deepan joined us and they played monopoly while i was like pacing back and forth in the room..listening to loud noise from mathan's playlist..and rolling on the floor in boredom..

Finally pizza came..canadian pizza..paid 4 bucks..and chowed down..and we told nallu he couldnt sit at the table coz no dogs were allowed to eat at the table with regular humans..but seeing that he was on the verge of tears..we pitied him and allowed him to join us..hahahaha..pizza was good..then back to monopoly..urgh..but auctioning and negotiations were hilarious..hahaha they started spouting tamil nonsense and kenneth and i were just stoning ...watching the indians in their violent aggressive way of negotiations...what a sight it was...then we left mathan's house to play pool at classic pool.

Downstairs..nallu wanted to act as some doorman or wateva u call it..and went up in the lift..without realizing the rest of us went down already in the other lift..how stupid..haha but it was free entertainment..and we ran away and hid ourselves..and as usual nallu was on the verge on tears..and wanted to scare us from behind..but he couldnt..wateva..haha..and priya had to open up her gifts..i gave her the lame gift..which i spent all nite yesterday sprinkling prickly heat and wrapping it in newspapers...and she was like tearing the layers of newspapers one by one..getting powder on her as the wind blew it towards her..hahahaha it was such a funny sight..and when she finally got to see her gift..she realized it was a toilet brush..now she can wash toilets more efficiently thanks to my gift..very handy yet expensive..60cents..hahaha and we started singing the TK anthem in due respect to the TK style..hahaha and we gave her the real gifts..Nallu Deepan Anan and i gave her a BEP CD and mathan gave her a shirt..better appreciate them..hahaha..but it was cool..its been such a long time since we last did it..still remember calvin gave the ZA twins a cheeze grater and a spatula for the lame gifts during the bdaes last year..miss them loads..

Anyway pool in Classic was uber fun..won 4 times in a row !!! Personal Record...but kinda downhill from then onwards..at least everyone had a fair share of winnings yeah..pool rawkZ and as usual..nallu and i were unpredictable....anan too !!! The trio..depending on luck..lol

Priya and sasi had to go..so deepan nallu mathan anan kenneth and i went back to ubi to eat prata..but kenneth had to go home..on the bus we talked about soccer stuff..and at the prata shop we talked more about soccer and TK days..really cool..went home.

Awesome day..hope there are more fun days to come..gonna enjoy my holidays to the MAX !!! Happy Celebrations !!!

Slow day...

2005-11-07T23:57:00.000-08:00

Weird day today..uber weird..no other word to describe it..its as though my whole life has slowed down and majority of singapore's population is dead.

Woke up at 1pm today ! But still havent broken my record of 2.15pm..haha..anyway i was panicking coz i havent bought priya's present even though i already knew what i wanted to buy..so i decided to go to parkway..but i left my house only at 4pm..which is freaking late..and brian is super la..can meet me at 5.30pm at parkway..the latest outing ever...hahahaha new record.

Reached parkway at 5.30pm..met up with brian and went to buy priya's gift..painful for my wallet..i can practically sense the emptiness in my wallet when my money flew away...boohoo...but its worth it for a good friend...then we went to the hawker stalls to buy grass jelly..and buy a 60cents toilet brush from a roadside stall and some prickly heat..for the lame gift..hahahaha cant wait to see her expression tmr..the TK style of presenting gifts..

We wanted to check out the magic shop at Katong mall..but everyone died..as in the shopping centre was sooooooo ulu la..very few ppl there..a lot of shops were close..and it wasnt even dusk...kinda pathetic for a shopping centre..and we found out that the shop closed down..so we went to katong shopping centre..slightly better than katong mall..went to the comic connection shop..and i recognised the shop attendent..omg she was hot..not as hot as jessica alba..but hotter than average singaporean girls...spent my time ogling at her while brian got his stuff..went to a very very VERY deserted bowling alley to play magic..it was damn scary la..so few ppl..like less than 10 including us...freaky..ghost town...after a while..ate dinner at a pathetic foodcourt..which was deserted btw..so it was scary too...went home in dad's car..

Freaky day...

Ultimate Tyco-ness

2005-11-06T00:10:00.000-08:00

2 words to describe my day today...extremely lucky...either that or i am just too professional in pool..ahem ahem cough cough..ok readers stop coughing/laughing/mocking me already..my pool is not that bad k..hahaha but anyways i really think that most of my shots in pool today was freaking lucky.

Started at 1pm. Parkway Macs. Met up with Mathan and Priya and waiting for sissified Nallu to make his way slowly to Parkway from my ex JC meridian. Ate Macs even though i have eaten like about 5-6 meals of fastfood this week...oh man i am gonna gain back all my weight i have shed for the past few months..crap..ah well..and it seems that Mathan is obsessed with happy meals nowadays..with the Macs yoghurt...haha..went to classic pool after lunch and Nallu was still riding in bus 15...funny bugger..haha..saw trevor and benjamin..damn..

Played pool for a while..and nallu came with a Macs meal too..eating like one slow fag even though i eat slower than him..ended up partnering him most of the time..and we were champions in hitting the balls out of the table due to our aggressive style of poking balls...bet ppl were shocked at times when we hit the ball..but hey we were really lucky as a pair..combined luck i guess...won quite a number of games and i was really satisfied with my pool skills..i have skills k..just that sometimes i need lady luck to shower me with good luck too in order for a landslide victory to happen..ahem..mathan is skilled as ever..priya is improving too..nallu is unpredictable ..like me..sometimes playing like some pro..but sometimes playing like some pathetic noob..haha but it was really really really great playing pool with them after all the suffering and torments i had to go through during the month of October.

Played a few rounds..and Mathan's bro and Sasi came. Felt kinda uncomfortable...coz at that time i was like losing momentum and majority was like so much better than me in terms of pool skills..lady luck ditched me too..hahaha..but nah nvm its ok..at least i had fun..

And can u believe it..we only hung out for 3 plus hours. Nallu went off to play soccer..the rest went home..so i made my way to Brian's house !!! Thank god brian is free and he still welcomed me even though it was 5..haha..his bro is going to China for a week for some student exchange programme !! Thats how cool la..haha..played magic as usual..oh and i love homecooked food..it RAWKZ la..i am sooooooooooooooo deprived of it..must go to other ppl's houses more often and hopefully i can get a nice meal there too...haha jk..but i really love homecooked food..never got any at my own house ever since i was pri 4 ? Yeah..thats very sad huh.. :'(

More fun times await..the holidays are long and i am in the springtime of youth!! PW is a fucking bitch..but who cares..10 more days till its all over !!! And priya's bdae is coming up soon..haha soon she will find out the TK way of getting presents...hope she likes the gift..hahahaha

OK feeling sleepy..niteZ asses. Sorry readers for calling u asses..but whatever....dun kill me...hahaha bye.

Naruto Song

2005-11-04T20:11:00.000-08:00

I want to gather up the clouds that shed tears
I will use the peaks of the waves to run far away
Even though I'm getting scared and distanced
I continue towards our painted future

Time is rushing the both of us
Making our actions speed up
Even if we are awaken while we dream
We were searching for the same light

Underneath the glittering starry night
With the countless constellations and shadows
Before all that, what are you
What are you gazing at
What are you gazing at
------------------------------------------------------

Nice song.

Unshackled and absolute freedom

2005-11-04T16:38:00.000-08:00

Holidays are here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah i know i am a bit slow but havent been updating my blog for the past few days..coz i simply have been having too much fun to blog about the days' events..hahahaha but i am loving it..loving every single bit of the freedom i am experiencing now..the taste..the smell...ahhhhhhh freedom...Promos are over..chinese exam is over !!! I never have to write another chinese compo or do another chinese paper ever ever ever again !!! Muahahahahahaha! But there is still PW..crap..nvm it will be over in 10 freaking days !!

Ok now gonna briefly update on the past week's events.

[Monday]
Chinese exam was a breeze..even though it was a pain in the neck doing it..and the entire examination hall was freezing..the atmosphere was kinda stressful..smothered me a bit..the deadly silence was deafening..haha..but nevertheless..chinese is over..yay..but after that i had an OCIP facilitation session..so the fun was held back for a while..Mathan eric and brian went to my house first..and after a while i joined them to play halo and magic..and transferred my videos to brian's ipod..then we went to cineleisure Kpool to play pool..really rusty..urgh..and played lan too but mathan left early..for dinner..brian and i ate KFC while eric went home..overall it was a nice way to celebrate the end of chinese forever !!

[Tuesday]
Happy Deepavali...so the indians were not free to hang out..went to brian's house to play magic and mahjong..m&m day..haha jingyang went there in the afternoon..then we headed to parkway to chow down at the foodcourt..went to best denki and harvey norman after dinner to check out the laptops..kinda pricey but they are of good quality..it was a fun day.

[Wednesday]
Boring day..had PW rehearsal for about 2 hours..then went home..but at least i improved on my blog's layout..if u havent already noticed..there is a new blogskin and my blog is much more organised as compared to the previous one...sorry for insulting ur intelligence..but heck..hahaha anyway also arranged magic stuff..really obsessed with magic nowadays..since i can afford the time to pay special attention to it...

[Thursday]
Freaking FUN day !!! Started off at 10.30 am when jingyang came over to my place to swim and hang out..btw it was jingyang's bdae...yeah then Brian kenneth and zijian came over and we played magic..metal slug..and just chatted about stuff...had lunch at a coffeshop nearby and we saw someone toppled the rubbish trolley or whatever u call it...so sludge was like all over the floor..luckily we have already finished eating by then otherwise we would have lost our appetite..and we evacuated the place..oh ya we saw 2 boys having a catfight..kinda gay..

We gave jingyang a pair of sport shorts i think..Mathan came along around 4 and we watched American Pie the wedding...think everyone was kinda grossed out by some of the scenes in the movie..hahahaha..Gmilf..

We went to lucky plaza to play pool..Brian and Jingyang left..and thats it..ate dinner and went home...

[Friday]
Lousy pathetic day..dun wanna be reminded of today..in other words..PW sucks...sucks sucks sucks.

Yup finally the week's events have been updated. Boring content right ? Too bad..just wanna remind myself of those fond memories..except for wed and today..cyaZ

Promos results

2005-10-21T23:31:00.000-07:00

[Promos results]

Today was filled with suspense, anxiety, stress and agony. Some were happy..some were terribly depressed with their results..some were upset and really worried about getting promoted..some were just insane..yeah coz today was the release of the long awaited promos results..

Supposed to have 3 periods..( not 3 months ) to check the papers..but the teacher had to collect and check the number of scripts before giving them to us..so that took one period..had to bind the WR and hand it in today..so today was a freaking busy day...

Got my results..but not gonna publish it in my blog coz ppl would probably mock me for having such lousy grades..wateva..ok anyway generally i felt i did quite ok..but gonna work much harder for next year...

WR is over..had OCIP sarawak meeting too..and OPEN HOUSE tmr ..damn..my saturday is gone..urgh..i cant hang out with my friends..and my friends went to MJC today !!!!! Damn..

Ending this entry with a couple of lame jokes..plz dun read if u dun wanna degrade urself...really..ok here goes..my friend thinks she has screwed up her geog..but we all know we need a screwdriver to screw things..and a screwdriver needs a motor in order to drive..and also needs a driver to drive it..furthermore u need motivation in order to have drive..

After saying all that crap..she told me i was very lame..and i agreed..coz i was able to link one out of point thing with another....by using metal chains..resulting in a chain reaction..

Then she said someone signed in on msn..and i asked how he signed in...by using a pen ?? Then she couldnt stand my lameness and played along..she said he used a quill feather to sign in..then i said he must have stolen the feather from federer..then the federation will be in trouble..then she talked about fedex - we live to deliver..deliver babies ?????

Ok enough for now..niteZ

P.S.: Do not drink lipton tea..after drinking one cup..it will make ur lips weigh a ton each...thats freaky... :)

Limp Bizkit

2005-10-20T21:14:00.000-07:00

Ok recently..i just realised that limp bizkit is a band and not just one person rapping..but like they say..ignorance is bliss..ahhh..ok wateva..limp bizkit's songs are rock mixed with rap and heavy metal..they are really cool even though some of their lyrics are explicit and definitely offensive..but who cares..i love their songs and i recommend it to anyone who is in need of motivation..i mean what can i sae..i love fast songs that pack a punch and drives me to do my work..and i hate slow songs which put me to sleep..modified version of a lullaby..

Anyway..results will be out TMR !!! JUDGMENT DAY !!! I really really really hope i am able to get good results..but today is a rather sad day..coz the GP teacher played some sad jap anime during class..and the chem teacher also announced that most of us failed chem..then here comes the waterworks..some of the girls broke down in tears..dunno if any guys cried..hmm..

But come to think of it..i am quite worried about promos now..coz i am not too sure whether i can pass chem and econs..and GP !!! Freaky..hoping for the best..

Bleaurgh..bio is good...kinda happy about it.. :)

Hope everything will be good tmr..and i have OCIP sarawak meeting after sch ! Results better be good otherwise i wont have the mood to continue the day...till then..niteZ

Chain of sucky events

2005-10-16T22:07:00.000-07:00

Ok gonna update on yesterday's events coz apparently ppl think i am depressed and suicidal? Thx to my previous blog entries..which have extremely depressing content..but kinda inspirational dun ya think? No? Ah well they are inspirational to me..and i was thinking so much till i forgot to blog about yesterday's events..so here goes..

Yesterday sucked..really sucked..haha but had a fair bit of fun too..Early in the morning..made my way to the street soccer court to play soccer with GD..and the first thing i saw in my dad's car when i arrived..was anan getting the ball from the roadside..hahaha remember this k..then nallu aravinth mathan brian anan zijian and myself played a while..and some bugger approached us when we playing..claiming that our ball hit his windscreen and damaged it..and we argued for about half an hour ( actually trying to cover up anan's ass ) Nallu was our lawyer even though he sucks in being one..oh he is GOOD at repeating his points..so much so that we told him to shut up..hahaha then the gravy man..who is the bugger btw coz he was delivering some gravy to someone's place..told us to wait at the court for half an hour while he made his deliveries..saying he would be back..BUT we waited for a solid 2 hour plus..and that loser didnt turn up..maybe coz we suggested to lodge a police report about the matter and that loser got scared..he freaking spoilt our mood for soccer..

After that..most of us went home except for me mathan brian and zijian..wanted to join priya and sasi at plaza singapura to watch corpse's bride..on the way there..in the MRT..brian felt sick thx to macdonalds..mathan and i were pissed coz we may be late for the movie..and we were pissed priya didnt bring home clothes..grrrr..haha but anyway..when we reached there..tickets were sold out and the queue was freaking long..so movie was out of the question..and i felt really sick coz i ran all the way from the MRT to the cineplex after a heavy meal of MACS..haha.

So we suggested pool..but priya didnt want to wear guy clothes..otherwise we could have played..but i understand how she feels about wearing guy clothes..i felt that if she was feeling uncomfortable about it we shouldnt force her..then we came up with loads of solutions..like asking her sis to get her clothes or borrowing clothes from her friends..but priya felt it was too troublesome..and was feeling kinda upset..yeah so we felt bad about it and decided to go to mathan's house..sorry about that priya..haha..bet everyone was feeling pissed at that time..the 2 victorians and their photo issue..mathan and zj feeling pissed about going to PS and doing nth..and myself for going back to the east.. but at least we had a proper plan of going to mathan's house to play cards..

Oh ya on the bus..there was a baby crying..which pissed me off even more..coz i dun like babies at this stage of life..not mature enough k..haha and i felt like crushing ITS head to stop the wailing..sorry to all baby lovers and paedophiles out there..

Went to mathan's place..played a few rounds of cards..it has really been a long time since we have played cards as a group..then zj left and we continued to play cards...in the end we just played cards and chatted about life..but it was kinda fun..ate at a coffeeshop near mathan's place and cracked sex jokes...after dinner we went home and i went to priya's place coz i didnt know where to tell my dad to meet me..no idea where i was at that time..then i had to impose on priya's mom to accomodate me for a while..felt so bad..but we chatted for a while and it was cool..and i went home..

Bad day yesterday..and TODAY! Even worse day..i can summarise today's events in one sentence. When i went to orchard MRT..no one was there coz the outing was cancelled and no one told me. Wasted trip..but at least i could file my stuff...clean up my room...work out at the gym...and listen to quality music at home..bad day to hang out too coz it rained the whole day and some parts of singapore were flooded..lol.

Gonna get back my promos results tmr !!!! So excited yet anxious about this whole thing..really wanna take S papers..but dunno whether i am fated for it..we shall see tmr..till then...niteZ